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For the polycurious (and those who think it
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For the polycurious (and those who think it Monogamy is something that is completely natural to SOME people. The non-monogamous among us are not faulty, but it is similarly in-born as homosexuality or bisexuality is, but we are so brainwashed into thinking monogamous heterosexual relationships as 'the thing' that we don't even stop to ask the questions before we decide polyrelationships are just "wrong" and "abusive of women". When I, at the age of 20,) first thought about wanting more than one serious boyfriend, I stopped myself on my tracks thinking no man would ever want to share a girlfriend, unless they, too had a permission to play around - and I didn't quite like the idea of sharing a boyfriend. I figured it would be so unfair on the guys that I didn't think about it again, until a lot later. There are several ways to be poly, some are essentially monogamous with a polyamorous bend, some are polygamous with a polyamorous bend. It is to be noted that not all naturally polygamist people marry wives to a husband, but it would be natural to also marry several men to one wife, or several wives to several husbands. I use the -gamy terms to describe a committed, permanent polyrelationship, and the -amory terms to describe not as easily defined relationships, mostly 'boyfriends' and 'girlfriends' and playmates rather than husbands and wives. (And I also don't mean legal wives and husbands, obviously, given the legistlations in most countries and states.) The way me and my soul-bond lovers work is that I am the wife, and my husbands can make up their own mind who else they wish to sleep with - but they tend to limit their excursions simply due to disinterest toward other women, not because they were ordered to. A lot of men love their male friends over their female companions, the same way as a lot of women love their female friends over their spouse even. This is a sign of a polyandrous (FMM+ alignment) or a polygynous (MFF+) alignment because we bond deepest with the gender that we are naturally aligned "to marry", with some exceptions. (This is a little complicated, bare with me.) Because by simple mathematics based on the assumption nature is more or less perfectly organized, we can conclude most men to be polyandrous by their natural learning, and most women being polygynous. This means that the polyandrous men would find it relatively difficult to a) respect b) love c) trust and d) bond with a woman, and the reverse would be true to polygynous women and their feelings towards men. Naturally polyandrous women find it hard to relate to other women on an emotional level while feeling very confident about the men's attraction to themselves, the same way as polygynous men find it difficult to relate to men, but know they can usually charm any woman they choose to charm - to the point they may consider it a bit of a problem. A lot of the time, men tend to self-sacrifice themselves when going into a serious polyrelationship, whereas women tend to self-sacrifice when a partner wants to try an open marriage or polyamory of some description. Here's how our logic works: Naturally polygamous (MMFF) men and women: "OK, monogamy is not realistic. We'll just pair up and then play around." or "OK, it's natural for people to have feelings for different people, commitment is about ignoring those feelings and simply sticking to your own partner. Easy." Naturally polyandrous (FMM+) men: "OK, I want my friends to fuck my girlfriend, but I could never possibly say that out loud because I love her and I don't want to make her feel like I thought she's a slut or a or that I disrespected her. I am an awful person." or "OK, I want to fuck my friend's girlfriend, but he would kill me, and I respect him and his relationship, but I can't stop thinking about fucking my friend's girl." (This wish often relates typically to a friend's girlfriend, whoever it is, once his friend finds another girlfriend, then SHE becomes the object of interest until they all truly fall in love with the same girl.) or "I like women but fuck, I could never imagine myself with another guy." (This is the way a man thinks before having found the right people.) Naturally polyandrous (FMM+) women: "OK I want several boyfriends, or I love several men and can't decide which one I want... I am a terrible woman, and I am probably incapable of true love." and "Oh crap. My friend's boyfriend fell in love with me.... Why does this keep happening to me, I am NOT ENCOURAGING THEM!!" Naturally polygynous (MFF+) men: "OK, I want to have more than one girlfriend, but that would be really freaking lame of me, so I'll just find a girl who wants to have several boyfriends and give her the freedom I want." (DON'T! Polyandrous women are not turned on by polygynous men, also, polygynous women don't want this freedom.) or "OK, I want several girlfriends but that is sooo lame and stereotypical of me, I am capable of monogamy, you just watch me!" Naturally polygynous (MFF+) women: "OK... Why do I ALWAYS find these cheaters? They seem so nice at first, and I trust every word they say about loving me, but then they turn around and fuck someone else! (Often the best friend or sister or even the mother.)" or "I should be so angry with my boyfriend/husband for cheating on me, but I can't help but be a bit turned on by it. What is wrong with me, I need therapy." or "I like my man, but I don't really want the mess that goes on with other women in the picture." (This before she's met her right people.) Naturally monogamous men and women: "I have NO IDEA why people have this idiotic need to sleep around and look for cheap thrills in the arms of other people! They are emotionally disturbed, commitment phobic people who need therapy! I love my partner, and I would NEVER cheat on him/her, and I know we may seem old fashioned, but this is the way we are and feel!" Of course, these are rough descriptions as everyone is different, but you still might see where you fit? I'll write more later. 
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