Life in General!
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Posted:Oct 15, 2007 8:01 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2009 10:30 am
2586 Views
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Hello Everyone!
I have a little bit of a dilema here, and not sure what I should do! I was born and raised in New York, but because of certain circumstances (which are much too long to discuss) I needed to leave fast so I moved to Pennsylvania in 1991. When I came here, I found a completely different world from the one I had in New York. I left everything that I loved in NY (, family and friends) I started here with nothing. It was quiet and lonely here, I had one friend since she is the one that helped me get here, but my friend had a very big family and I did not want to intrude in her life trying to get my life back together. After being here for 2 months I finally got a job and it was a great thing because I was down to my last 20 bucks in my pocket. My family knew nothing of my wear-abouts and I couldn't tell anyone anything! The years past. I visited my as much as I could without anyone still knowing where I lived or what I was doing in my life. For the first 6 years that I lived here I worked 2 jobs 7 days a week aprox 80-100 hours per week so I could get back on my feet. It took me 10 years to buy my own home, It was hard and I mean really really hard but I did it...On Sept 11, 2001 It was my closing date on the house....My first house and it was all mine without any help from anyone. At this time I had a man in my life but, did not want any help from him, actually I would not accept any help from any man. With alot of work and money spent, the years passed again. It is now 2007...wow can't believe I have been here since 1991 (16 years). My house might not be a mansion but it is my castle and It is mine.
The thing is though. I am not happy! My are grown (Boy 25 and Girl 23) My parents are still in NY and my lives there. My lives with her boyfriend in Pennsylvania. I still feel lonely and want to go back to NY. Might seem dumb but even though I am older I feel like I am missing something. My parents are up there in age, Mom is not doing to well and I feel that I should help some how for all the years that I missed with them.
Am I thinking wrong, or should I just try and find someone in my life and live in peace? I can return to NY because the reason I left is no longer there!
I would like some opinions.
Am I just thinking this way out of guilt? Or am I just feeling like life is passing me by?
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