Desire Vs. Need
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Posted:Nov 12, 2013 9:19 am
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2014 12:42 am
8835 Views
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As time passes, and we travel further along our mutual road of communal satisfaction, we find that more and more, people misinterpret our reason for being here on Polyamory Date. Sometimes we only get a vague sense that there is a misreading, but often it comes to us clearly stated in emails or IMs, that categorically reveal this misapprehension. That is; That Siren and Prime are here because they NEED something. To say that this is an incorrect assumption doesn't even begin to cover the inappropriateness of that presupposition.
We came to Polyamory Date because we found that, together, we still had an appetite for more sensuality, more new friends, more fun, and more adventures. We also realized that if we could combine all of those cravings together, that it would enhance our own collaborative carnality. At no time during our discussions on where we wanted to go together, nor after the fact, did either of us feel that anything was lacking in our lives. On the contrary, what we felt was that we would like to share something that would be an adjunct to what was an already fulfilling sybaritic life. And so we have found that when we do share something or someone(s) new and exciting together, that our own compatibility is enriched, not diminished.
Because of these great joys that we have been able to now and then experience, our life together continues to grow and to blossom, and our romance becomes all the more deeply confirmed, both sexually, and emotionally. We're sappilly content, in that sloppy, "The Rest Of Us All Hate Them Cause They're So Sweet" kinda way.....
Given all of that, it does come as a somewhat peevish surprise that we still receive emails and such, TELLING us that we're going about "this" the wrong way. Not that it should actually be all that mystifying, given that the somewhat definitive parameters we have outlined for playtime have appeared to be offensive to some AFFers right from the start. However, one would think that by now, we would have been around here long enough to be able to avoid the; "loosen up! give people a better chance! You'd have better luck if you weren't so picky! You should broaden your choices! If you were just a little less particular! " emails { and similar comments on the blog }.
Once and for all Dear Friends.... We want what we want, and are unprepared to settle for anything other than that. Could there ever be a place where that thought was more appropriate than Here on a sex-site?? And, to be perfectly frank, we've been doing "OK" even with those plainly outlined restrictions in place. We never planned on being the "twice a week, three times on the weekend" kind of swinger-couple, we'd far rather be blessed with a "Whenever the three or four of us can meet" type. So, why oh why, do people continue to effort us to relax the criteria that we've become so comfortable with?? What possible motivation could they have?
Well.....if we HAD to guess......we'd probably consider it the difference between people who NEED to have this type of interactions, and those who DESIRE them. I suppose that to those people who have that indispensable demand in their lives, we might appear to be so laid back as to be disinterested. Really, nothing could be further from the truth. We Truly, Truly enjoy the fun of sharing ourselves with other people, just not at the risk of our standards. And though we don't want to appear to be judgmental of those who view things differently { though we undoubtedly will anyway....} we just believe that our way is what works best for US. Because.....we desire to have that sort of delight in our lives, but we do not need it. It's a wish, that we will indulge in when everything is perfect, but will Not accept otherwise. At no time during our lascivious time together have Siren or I felt the NEED to partake. Rather....it's something bubbling away in the back of our minds, ready to be acted upon if possible, but held in it's place otherwise.
And so....Thank you very much to all the people who seek to aid us in our quest for salacious soul-mates. While we appreciate your good intentions,{ we think...} it is our Desire never to Need anyone Else's advice in this matter. Everyone here, or on any type of "Dating" site for that matter, has their own idea of what it is they're after, and all the helpful hints in the universe are never going to make us amend ours. All we NEED from all of you, is to let our Desires have free rein, and if you should happen to think the same way as we do.....We'd greatly Desire that you get in touch with us.
But you don't Need to......
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The Unicorn's Wish
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Posted:Nov 2, 2013 12:49 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2016 6:04 pm
8306 Views
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The wind above whipped the last few leaves from the tops of the nearby trees as she approached the lake in the early morning. Orange, yellow, and even gold, they fell before her, fascinating her with their beauty, but leaving a touch of sadness as well, for their time was done, their vitality spent. Her hooves crunched through the fallen leaves as she neared the water, and in a moment of whimsy, she used her hind legs to send a flurry of them into the air, lending them one more moment of life. The unicorn sighed to herself, thinking, "sometimes I feel like that too...all dried up and dying, used up and finished". She leaned her neck down toward the water, but before she drank, she stopped for a moment, to reflect upon her reflection. She was pleased to see that she still maintained her red coat of hair, so unique for a unicorn, and because of it, her youthful appearance. She felt anything but young though, and despite her rosy mane, assumed that she had begun to appear older to her fellow inhabitants of the forest. She remembered the first time she had ventured near this mysterious, but bewitching lake. " I thought I could just dip my hooves in", she thought sadly, "How foolish and naive I was then". Indeed, the lake was a gathering point for the denizens of the forest, and the roseate equine had journeyed there in search of companionship, and even a little adventure. After year and years of being penned up with a heavy and clumsy plow-, the unicorn had gone searching for the fellowship of her own kind. She had believed that if she plunged into this mystic lake, she might find another unicorn to play with, or a filly, or a zebra, or even a nymph, if one could be found near the Lake. Little had she known that each of these new-found friends would almost always be accompanied by others, who wanted their share of her as well. The first that had roughly mounted her had seemed like a fair exchange for the affection of the filly who had befriended her, but after a time the male horses began to arrive without their mares, and continued to desire her attention nonetheless. Having spent so long in servile obedience, the unicorn submitted to these advances, and even sometimes reveled in the warmth of the union. It often caused the unicorn great discomfort to see how all of these steeds imagined themselves to be stallions, when in fact most of them more closely resembled workhorses, with the accompanying lack of skills. At times she wished they were all geldings, so she could return to the company of just the mares. In the end, she always felt more used than enjoyed, and when the herd began to suggest that she also mate with bulls, dwarfs and even evil sprites, the unicorn felt she had had enough. So she resolved to come to the lake less often, though the longing for fellowship and passion would sometimes make her journey back, and would even allow some of the old plugs to mount her again when the loneliness became too strong.
All of these memories troubled the rosy unicorn as she drank slowly from the lake. The water rippled beneath her lips, spreading out from her mouth in shimmering waves. How beautiful the Lake was, she thought, and how much I enjoyed it at first. She gazed about at the forest and the skies, and the lake itself. There were blues and greens, and multicolor hues of delight everywhere. The sunshine sparkled like diamonds on the surface of the water, and all the varied colors she could see above the surface, were repeated ad infinitum in the depths of the water for as far as the eye could see. The leaves continued to blow down from their tenuous holds on the branches on high, and gave contrast to the swiftly moving clouds above. How lovely, the unicorn thought, but what is it about this special place that still seems to be lacking?
And then she heard the music. Softly at first, as though simply an echo of tunes from long ago. And then slightly louder, and more melodious to her ears. It was far too early for anyone else to be at the lake , she thought, let alone someone with so harmonious a noise. The unicorn raised her head from the water, and moved all four of her legs back from the lake, peering about in an effort to find the source of the sweet sound that tickled her senses. She sensed more than saw a slight movement in the distance, and cantered in that direction, cautiously, but with an urgency that mystified her. She felt that something important was taking place, but had no sense of what it could be. As she rounded the lake, she approached a small collection of half-submerged rocks. Sitting in the middle of these damp boulders was what appeared to be a satyr, playing soothingly on panpipes. He glanced up as she approached, and smiled with a teasing grin, while continuing to entrance her with his pastoral. She smiled back, in that peculiar unicorn way, and their eyes locked. The satyr's song rose in volume and rhythm, and came to a tumultuous climax that stirred both the unicorn's heart, and the nearby birds. Having completed his ditty, the satyr rose from his rough perch and approached the rosy equine. She started when she noticed the immensity of the organ swinging between his hairy legs, but calmed herself by remembering that this was a satyr, and that was a part of who they were. But, so as not to stare, she looked again into his eyes, so kind, and caring, a deep and welcoming blue. "Hello", he said, I was wondering when you would find me". She quivered at this statement, and her ears twitched. "I don't know....I never...How was I to ever meet you?...." He walked up to her and stroked her cheeks, and laughed a charming and beguiling laugh. " Not necessarily in the sense of find me right here, but find me as in someday we'd meet". She considered what he had said. What a strange person he was. He smiled again, and wandered around her, continuing to stroke her. Her mane, her shoulders, her hocks, and then gently, but persuasively, between her legs. " I know you were too busy with the herd to notice me, and truth to tell, I was occupied with a pixie or two myself" , he said with a captivating smirk, " But,....now that we have met, don't you agree that it was about time?" His delicately moving hands continued to arouse her, to the point that she found it difficult to concentrate, but she did manage a soft, "Yessss......yes I do....." He stepped away from her, causing her to gasp with a sense of loss, and when he came around to gaze into her eyes again, she was met with a devilish grin. But, instead of feeling intimidated or wary, this impudent smile calmed her, and left her feeling safer and more wanted than she had for the longest of times. The satyr kissed her between her nostrils, and scratched the inside of her ear. " If you want, I'll take care of you now, and we can journey around the lake together" , he whispered into the other ear. And the unicorn felt a warmth and a joy unlooked for filling her heart and soul, and she realized that this is what the magical lake had been missing all this time. Someone to share the wonder of the exploration, and the enchantment that followed on that quest. The unicorn bumped her head against the satyr's hairy skull, in a sign of acceptance. She looked up with damp eyes, and wondered if these tears had only made the lake appear to be more wondrous, or if it had indeed been made more magical by the company she now kept.
Happy Anniversary to my onetime Unicorn. THIS Satyr is forever bewitched by you.
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GOT BALLS?
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Posted:Oct 8, 2013 1:41 pm
Last Updated:Oct 31, 2013 10:19 pm
8058 Views
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…Gold balls that is… The many advantages of having a gold ball are that you can do everything here- flirt, hotlist, friend, watch several cams at once AND email standard members! We know, we used to have one ourselves. We don’t any longer and that has led to some interesting observations. One of those is that people with gold balls will look and look and look at our profile… Once in awhile, they’ll even flirt with us. But that’s usually about it. Now, we can understand the ones who look and don’t do anything at all- we figure they’re just Repeat Pic Pervs *giggle*. And we’re SO cool with that( Cause we do it too!)
However, we’d like to take a moment to point out, that while flirting with us is great… it‘s pretty useless. It only tells us you like something about us. As standard members, there's almost nothing we can do in return. We can hotlist you to show our return interest, send you an IM if you’re online (and half the time even that doesn‘t seem to work), or write on your blog if you have one… but that is IT. We can’t flirt, we can’t send you an email. We CAN reply, if YOU take that first step. Please keep that in mind when you goldies out there are checking out someone’s profile. Send us something we can work with! What’s the worst that can happen? We don’t bite…
So…. If you’ve got balls, please USE them!
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The sirenprime Travelling Roadshow.
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Posted:Sep 25, 2013 8:42 am
Last Updated:Nov 5, 2013 12:41 pm
8057 Views
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Well, things are certainly running a bit slow around here. Perhaps it's the near constant state of whining we present on the blog, or the basis for that, our rather particular desires when it comes to playmates. Since we have no intention of becoming totally without standards, we have consequently expanded our search area to cover a little more ground. We were hoping that in doing so, we MIGHT be able to find a couple, or even a single Lady, who has the same viewpoint on swinging that we do. { Friendship developed first, intimate playtime to follow. Not a mind-numbingly protracted process, but long enough to be SURE that a real connection exists. All done with an eye toward a sensual experience, rather than just a roll in the hay...}
So, having done that, and being pleased with the preliminary results, we found ourselves asking the question: How far would / should one travel to find perfect compatibility? Like everyone else here, we'd prefer to have our encounters around the corner, or in the next block after that. But, sometimes the reality of all "this" is contrary to that ideal. I suppose if all we wanted was a body to use for our pleasure, we could easily mange that within our own zip code. But, because we do have a rather individual set of parameters, we have accepted that we may have to look further afield for someone who matches up with us. I guess the most telling point when looking at this question, is how deeply do you WANT these encounters? For us, the answer is simple. We DO want to share ourselves with others, so, if travel becomes a requirement for that, so be it.
And how far? Well.....to achieve that longed for, perfectly compatible, soothing and arousing at the same time, hotter than the surface of the Sun, pleasurable beyond all expectations friendship....as far as is necessary. IF doing so requires a road-trip, there you are. If doing so requires a hotel room, there you are. If doing so requires that those meetings are few and far between, there you are. If doing so means that your shared time is shorter than you wish, there you are { but IF that wish for yet more time together occurs to both of you, haven't you already answered the question anyway....}. Indeed, in the end, what distance wouldn't you cover, both physically, and metaphorically, to have that lovely, sensual, exciting, and memorable experience you always searched for? For us, we have settled on.... about a days drive. *wink*
The one thing that is limiting about even that, is the all too common problem of lack of time. Aren't we all too busy these days? But...if we are going to have the type of pleasure that we all are in here looking for, it becomes incumbent upon us all to set aside some time for play. Siren and I have resolved to organize our lives better, to free up at least one weekend a month to dedicate to "FunTravel". Not that even those weekends might always be used for that; we're looking for just the right people, not the first that come along. With the type of ideal situation we seek, it might take a few trips before we actually find ourselves sharing a bed with our contemporaries, but at least we'll be making ourselves available for even the most vanilla of meetings.Introductions are, and should be, almost as important as the eventual play. At the very least, people can at least be assured of our sincerity, AND of our actual appetite for real passion.
And... Being real goes a long way towards earning other's ardor, and without that, why would anyone put aside any of THEIR valuable time to entertain us, no matter how far we propose to travel. As always, sensual encounters are ALWAYS based on a reciprocal level of lustfulness and trustfulness, and we don't like to presume that we are so enticing that we warrant a dropping of all other things simply to enjoy our company. So, we do work on presenting ourselves as who we are, and in the best possible light. And, if that presentation pleases anybody out there reading this, would YOU ever be prepared to travel to a halfway point to share some time??
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It's NOT Enough...
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Posted:Aug 16, 2013 1:26 pm
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2014 12:38 pm
8230 Views
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Well.....We've been hanging around this site for a while now. We posted a profile...or two...or three..... in order to satisfy some of our more carnal desires. But, at the same time, we hoped that during that satiation, we'd be able to meet new and interesting people, and perhaps even develop several long(ish) term friendships. As yet, not too much of that wish has come true. There have been some good experiences, and some good friendships, even of the virtual kind, have developed. But...the blissful combination of both of those delights have yet to be satisfactorily joined together. Now, we do admit, that what WE are looking for is not EVERYones's cup of tea. In fact, it seems more and more that it is US who are sitting on the outside looking in, rather than the converse. But, here in the realm of sexual satisfaction, there just seems to be little room for compromise. You either get what you're looking for, however obscure, or you continue to search. With all of that in mind, let us make a few points about what we've been offered up until this point, and why these presentations have been found lacking. IF we try to say what ISN'T what we're looking for, will we have better luck finding people who take the time to share in what we want?? We'll try.....
It is not enough that you are available. Everyone here is.
It is not enough that you're Local. We'd rather travel to something appropriate than settle for something nearby
It is not enough that you're good looking. There are many terrible people hiding behind a mask of good looks, and the opposite is also true.
It is not enough that you have a big cock / massive tits. Pleasant to behold, and no doubt fun in the short term, but what substance do they lend to the friendship?
It is not enough that we share similar ; ages, heights, weights, families, hobbies, or kinks. While mutual interests are good, variety lends a spark to any relationship.
It is not enough that you contacted us. We're grateful, but that alone comes with no guarantee. It's a beginning,not a culmination.
It is not enough that we shared coffee/ dinner / drinks. Once again, these are steps towards something that might be, they are not carte blanche to our private parts.
It is not enough that you can write pretty words. What do you have to say in a real situation, with multiple people adding multiple ideas to the conversation? AND...can you hear all the voices?
It is not enough that you are well off. They have names for people whose affection can be purchased with material things. We don't answer to those epithets.
It is not enough that you have a Hot Tub. Ummmmmmm.......OK, maybe THAT one MIGHT be persuasive.....
There you go. It's Not a complete list , by any means, but certainly an outline of some of the things we've seen and been told we should acknowledge. While we do lend some credence to the concept that there's no such thing as bad publicity, we're still shocked that SO many people so obviously NOT suited to us continue to attempt to woo, persuade, bother, badger, browbeat, and even bully us into playing with them. All of this could easily be avoided if only folk would take the time to do just a little research. While we're pretty sure that Single Men MUST be incapable of reading, is there really any need or excuse for couples and ladies with Gold Ball Privileges to get snarly with us when we choose to go in another direction than what they've proposed? We lay out all of OUR desires in our profile and here on our blogs, so why would anyone misconstrue our needs? If water finds it's own level, shouldn't we all be allowed to be as deep or as shallow as our own personal preferences dictate? Ah well.... In the end, we'll just float along here in this grand swimming pool of sensuality, treading water contentedly until we find some people who enjoy the same kind of strokes as we do.
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Candlelit Cameraderie
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Posted:Jun 26, 2013 9:49 am
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2013 11:14 pm
7424 Views
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The Lady of the couple bent slowly over the candle, lighting it with a match. The smell of burning sulfur displaced her sweet perfume, but both smells were soon overtaken by the scent of cherry blossoms filling the bedroom. By the dancing candlelight the gentleman of the couple poured four glasses of red wine, and placed 2 each on the matching bedside tables. The other couple clasped hands just the tiniest bit harder, and from the corners of their eyes, shared a happy smile. As the Lady finished the task of lighting several more candles, all four people stood beside the large bed and enjoyed the scents and sounds and views of the warm bedroom. Each one gazed around themselves , seeing little detail by the flickering lights, but still being enchanted by the radiance of their emotions, if not the actual incandescence.
The Gentleman fluffed the multiple pillows one last time, and then bounced playfully up onto the bed. He picked up his glass of wine, took a small sip, and looked over at the couple holding hands. They were all of a very compatible nature, neither too good looking, too fit, or too faultless , just normal folk with a desire for sensual adventure. He sipped again, and smiled at his Lady, and then back at the other couple. They responded with grins of their own, all of them pleased that it was a warm place to be, without the slightest sense of crudeness, or of being manipulated. This WAS where all four of them wanted to be. As the Lady of the couple climbed slowly and sensuously onto the bed, the hand holding couple unlocked their grip, and had the slightest of qualms. Not because of what they were about to share, just wondering what the next step was going to be. The Lady on the bed made that question moot when she slowly lifted her blouse over her head, exposing exquisitely shaped breasts. They had a rich fullness, with only the slightest hint of sag, made palatable by the awareness of her age, and the curviness that comes along with it. They were tipped with rather large nipples, stiffening under the gaze of the other couple, and the Lady sighed with delight at the feelings those looks were arousing. That they WERE that hard was a joy to her, and she longed for several lips to test their firmness. Her partner slipped off his shirt as well, and pulled his jeans down when that was done. He had no underwear on, so his wonderfully curved cock sprang out as he removed his pants. He too was clearly aroused by the gaze of their playmates, and leaned back into the small pillows, stroking his penis to full erection as he looked deeply into the eyes of the other Lady. Someone new looking at him in full rigidity made him all the more excited, and he looked over to his partner to see if she'd noticed the extra firmness. She had, and was overjoyed by his arousal. They both lay back against each other, and he released his throbbing cock long enough to help his Love remove her pants as well, and then her frilly thong to finish the process. They held each other close, caressing one another with delicate touches, while watching the eyes of the other duo. The candle's glow fluttered and danced, lending an almost surreal quality to the room, as if all of this passion was being captured by an old fashioned movie camera. They kissed softly, and then looked back to the other twosome, looks of invitation on both of their faces.
The second couple kissed each other deeply as well, and then followed suit by removing their clothing. They had delightful bodies, thought the first couple. The woman was lean and muscular, with a small bosom, but shapely enough to be appreciated by both of them. The man was clearly fit, with only a small bit of belly betraying his years. The woman on the bed licked her lips thoughtfully as his cock came into view, delighting in it's size and thickness. As they touched each other while they watched this second disrobing, the couple already on the bed were exuberant over their good fortune. After so many false starts, they had finally found a compatible couple to share with. The pair still standing finished divesting themselves of their garments, and stood together at the foot of the bed, the Lady stroking the man's cock, the man cupping the Lady's breast. They reveled in their nudity, in the warmth, the soft glow of the candles, the cherry blossom smell in the air, the lovely bodies on the bed in front of them, and the situation they found themselves in. He grew harder and bigger still, and she felt wetness flourishing between her legs. She squeezed the fullness of his pulsing organ, and he tweaked her nipple, drawing out a blissful chirp. They hesitated for just a moment,holding onto each other as they savored the gratification they felt, and then climbed onto the bed to join their intimate acquaintances. Four well put together bodies enmeshed themselves into a tangle of candlelit flesh. As the two Ladies joined their lips together in the first of the many passionate kisses they would taste together, the second Gentleman thought contentedly to himself, "So THIS is what taking the time to build a friendship can lead to....."
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Borrowed Thought
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Posted:Jun 21, 2013 6:21 am
Last Updated:Jun 8, 2014 9:55 pm
7162 Views
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Appropriated this one from Ms. FMAOPLS ;
Remember the One Word Game where we all posted the game on our blog and the readers had to use one word to describe us?
How about a twist on the game?
I challenge you to use One Word to describe what you want to do with us if we met or maybe we've already met so next time we meet what would you like to do in one word.
...anyone can play.
Then you post this on your blog and I'll come over and do the same.
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The Friendly Side Of Rejection
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Posted:Jun 18, 2013 6:35 am
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2013 8:04 am
6496 Views
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Siren and I have always taken great pains in our profile to be very clear about our desire to incorporate friendship into our playtime. Call us crazy, or childish, or even naive, but we just feel more comfortable getting naked, and all that follows from that, with people who we'd like to be with in a non-naked way. We even think there should be a word for that, something of a cross between Friends, and Lovers. { Flovers, perhaps? } And while having this desire to share more than someone's flesh, we've also never lost sight of the parameters enforced by necessity in a venue such as this. We are very circumspect about aspects of our personal information, and respect anyone's desire to do the same. After all, there CAN be a functional bond between 3 or 4 people without knowing the names of the companies we work for, or the names of all our and their best friends. When mature adults decide that they'd like to share some moments of sensuality, it is not necessary to share the tiniest of details, just that a comfortable rapport be established before the sheets are rolled back. For us, we use the expression: "We DO want to get to know you, but we're not looking to move into your basement."
Now, SOMEtimes this happens, often times it does not. Even when all the compatibility indicators on mutual profiles all show up in the green, there are no guarantees that such friendliness as we look for can be established. Just like in the "Real" world, there are just as many factors that might preclude the development of friendship,as there are those that might encourage it in the world of Sexual Dating. Lifestyle, income, education,politics, kinks, habits,, sexual orientation, religion, whether you're a Star Wars fan, or Star Trek...There are a myriad of hurdles to run over before any friendship can be fostered, and always several more before it might be maintained. SO...when we do feel that we've clicked with somebody{s}, it almost always feels like a surprise, but certainly a very welcome one.
BUT....like friendships in Life, we also acknowledge that not everything is forever. And once again, within the boundaries that a sexual relationship engenders, there might always be things small or large that lead to people losing touch, either early in their liaison, or late. As we previously stated, we aren't here to sink hooks into people, but rather, hope to seduce them into finding us attractive enough in as many ways as possible so as to allow for a longer term level of sexual interaction to be warranted. Sadly, both Life, and "The Lifestyle", does not offer any such surety. However,here in the world of Sexual Intimacy between friends, would it not be MORE incumbent upon people who have grown dissatisfied with any such association to inform the other parties of their desire to move on? IF things here in the realm of Friendly Fornication has NOT worked out to the satisfaction of all concerned, shouldn't a cordial note to that effect be forthcoming? Here of all places, wouldn't you just like to KNOW what's going on, rather than being left to wither on the virtual vine, checking your IM and emails daily in the hopes that answers to your questions can be answered? Because, we do comprehend that not all silences are a sign of rejection, just as not all quiet between partners does not signify dissatisfaction, but when that stillness becomes extensive, the mind starts to work overtime. AND, we do admit to being a pair of sensitive souls { Probably why we end up looking to be pleasers to the playmates we DO connect with... } so to us, muteness leaves us wondering where we stand.
And , in the end, isn't that all ANY of us here in the world of Sexual Adventure really crave? Whether one is in it to have as many one-night stands as possible, OR to develop a relationship of a FWB nature, don't we all just want to be aware of what kind of ground we're standing on? When one feels confident about what the nature of any relationship is, all things, including long spells of absence, are tolerable. Sexual flings, even those with a basis of friendship, however, lend themselves to uncertainty, since , unlike other connections, they lack the physical proximity that allows for easy feedback. SO...whether it be that you are one of OUR friends, or find yourself in a similar situation with your playmates, do everybody a favour, and just communicate! IF / WHEN whatever you had with your intimates no longer holds the same attraction for you that it once did...just say so. We're adults here, even the sensitive ones. It's not like we've never been rejected before, and unlikely to be the last time either. It is indeed one of the aspects that remains constant in the world of Sexual Dating; you HAVE to have a thick skin. So, rather than fretting about hurting anyone's feelings, { IF that is the case...} let's just have an open exchange of feelings,and/or information, and then everyone can proceed from wherever that leaves them.
Now.....how ANYbody could ever find us less than 100% attractive would still remain a mystery to us, but that's a blog for somebody else to write...
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That Nasty Issue Of Looks
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Posted:Jun 11, 2013 11:04 am
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2013 1:41 pm
5656 Views
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Hmmmmmm........does anyone else here in the wondrous world of seeking out playmates of a sensual nature ever have doubts about where they sit in the rankings for looks? I mean, it's not like we're completely obsessed with our mirrors, far from it, but it is a bit of a question mark when it comes to who looks at us, and who actually initiates contact. For us, we usually work with the "Rule Of 2". That is....we don't often pursue anyone either higher or lower than 2 points on a scale of 1-10. { Personality, charm, and a desire to get to know us being the mitigating factors to that decision...} But..it just makes NO sense to us to attempt to seduce a couple of 10's when we feel we're a 6 or a 7 on a good day.... neither, therefore, do we feel any obligation to carry on lengthy conversations with any 3's or less. In both cases, the likelihood of a successful rapport being established just seems too slim.
Is all of that just too shallow for words?? We truly don't think so. Despite the myriad protestations otherwise by countless profiles, anyone who says looks don't matter is probably one of two things. They are either lying to themselves, OR they have such low standards as to be willing to accept ANYthing. OK....there might be a 3rd possibility as well, those rare and transcendent couples who are capable of looking at people without considering their looks. While that might be the ultimate goal of the free-thinking, accepting group that we all wish we might be, I just think that being able to NOT consider looks is as rare a talent as levitation. It MIGHT happen, but I just can't conceive of how.
So, for the rest of us mere mortals, there will always be a certain amount of assessing and judging the looks of any potential playmates, and of course, having the same thing done to us in return. { I always say, you need a thick skin to participate in Sexual Dating....} Ergo, one needs to be honest and forthright in one's own enumeration of their looks. And THAT's where the whole idea seems to flounder. Treading delicately here.....How often have you seen a profile with a name like "HotCppl1234" who looked like somebody's overweight Grandparents? Or a profile that professes to be a " good looking pair", who clearly have lost track of what "good looking" constitutes. Or { one of MY personal favorites, due to the number next to my gender..} a "YoungCppl1234" profile from folk who actually remember the 60's?? While I freely accept that we will ALL do everything we can to make ourselves as attractive to potential "friends" as possible, is misrepresenting your qualities the best way to achieve this? There's a huge difference between catching the best lighting in order to make a photo show off your best features, and describing yourself as "good looking" when you clearly are not. More often than not, upgrading your looks quotient is similar to lying about your weight or age, it will only lead to disappointment if/when you do actually meet anyone.
So....what's a person/couple to do? Describe themselves as "Short, ugly, out of shape, and old", and hope that there's a demand for that sort of thing out here?? LOL! of course not, but a critical assessment of the good qualities and features that you possess would be a good starting point. And then making note of them and playing up THOSE attributes in the profile would also seem to be a wiser course than self-deception. In our case, we usually try to be somewhat self-deprecating at all times, the better to have people pleasantly surprised rather than disenchanted. For instance...I AM short, and will ALWAYS say so as soon as possible in any conversation. There ARE people out there who desire tall males, and I have NO problem with that, so why would I EVER try to represent myself as anything more than munchkin-like. { Hmmmmm.....I have hairy toes too...maybe I should start using Hobbit-like instead...} So, it just makes sense that in this delightful "Lifestyle", with all the opportunities for fun and adventure that await us, we take the time to make an effort to be true to ourselves and then how we present ourselves to the rest of our sexual peers.
The only trouble is that WE keep getting told we're really good looking by some, and rejected by others, because, in their eyes, we're NOT. I guess there's IS still a bit of an "eye of the beholder" factor. It CAN be extremely problematic to try and figure out one's own looks score, and trying to compare yourself to the others here on Polyamory Date would just seem to me more guesswork than scientific.
Maybe we'll just start evaluating ourselves as 5's instead of 7's and see if we please more people that way. NO, wait a minute...then we WOULD have to start looking at 3's!! Oh, vanity, vanity,.... it's our biggest obstacle to adventure....
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Enjoy Spring or Endure Autumn?
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Posted:Apr 12, 2013 6:49 am
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2014 9:46 am
4849 Views
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Well, the weather has FINALLY started to change for the better. The clouds are higher and fewer, the rain has relented,and the sun, when it does shine through, contains enough warmth to make the skin tingle. The meteorologist and the calender both say that spring is here at last.
But, that same calender also says that my birthday has just passed, and that I'm now in my LATE 50's. Quite the revelation for someone who thought they'd be a 20something forever. Now it's my who sit where I thought I would always remain, while I have only the rear-view-mirror perspective of the vitality of youth.
Am I sad? Do I feel cheated? Should I be morose and crestfallen? Do I lay defeated by the relentless passage of time? Not hardly...
I am in better shape than I ever have been {barring a few niggling injuries}. I am stronger, better muscled, longer-winded, and just generally fitter. And even if my decidedly superb six-pack is hidden beneath a layer of adiposity, the useful strength it can produce is far superior to that which my 20something self could have managed.
But, therein lies the rub. Despite the knowledge that I AM truly a better version of myself, my minds eye continues to react to the effects of the passage of time with distaste. I am vain. I liked my flat belly, my dark hair, my smooth skin, my clear eyes and bright teeth. Who is this middle aged man who stares back at me from my mirror, hand reaching out to touch his fingers to this reflection of someone I fail to recognize.He resembles someone I used to know, but looks like a tireder version of that same man. Why does he look like he just woke up from a troubled nap?
Vanity is something that plagues most of us, but it seems to me that within the confines of our "Lifestyle" community, it has the most adverse effect. Because, aside from professional sport and a modelling career, where else does who you are depend so much on what you look like? Even if you're the greatest Lover of all time, will your prospective playmates not look at the visual package first and foremost? Don't we all? If one chooses, as we DO, to pursue a variety of sexual and sensual partners, of varying ages, is it not incumbent upon oneself to always look your best? And can we do just that in the Autumn of our lives? Or is it now time to let my considerable charm, wit, and good manners take me to places where my physical presence used to carry me? { OK, that last sentence MAY have had a little sarcasm added to it, but hopefully you see my point. }
At any rate...I don't think that trying to change who you are and how you approach the art of seduction is the answer. Age may have brought about some differences, but it shouldn't be the basis for denying you the pleasures we all seek. I think that I prefer to use the gifts I've always had, and continue to refine them into what I'd still like them to be. And that, of course, includes my body. Far from feeling that this latest Birthday is the Death-Knell to my libidinous adventures with the Lovely Siren, I would rather view it as a reminder that the best may be yet to come.
When faced with the obvious effects of Father Time's inexorable progression, one can either let him have his way with you, and retire crying to one's room to regret what one has lost, OR....run boldly up to the man with the white beard and scythe, grab the clock from his hands, smash it to the ground, and slap him heartily across the face for ever supposing that he had the power to lay you low.
No, I will NOT weep over the years that have gone by, and the effects that they have left me with, I will look forward to the ones yet to come. I have my health, my mind, a deliciously delightful partner, and all the desire I ever had in my youth. I will simply continue to do the things necessary to keep myself in this state for as long as I'm given the chance to do so. Smarter choices in exercise, nutrition, rest, and mental stimulation should carry me through nicely. Continuing to enjoy the presence of younger people, their music, their cultural views, and their energy and vitality will help with this as well. I doubt very much if you're going to see me on the Over-55 bus tours to Local Points Of Interest anytime soon, though I MIGHT take advantage of the cut-rate deals on breakfast.
No, I have no intention of retiring from either Life, or "The Lifestyle". Despite not particularly liking what changes Age has brought about, they neither scare me, nor defeat me. In some ways, these changes even inspire me. It will be interesting to see which ones are actually inexorable, and which ones are merely temporary. And having made that determination, making the adjustments necessary to continue to enjoy a rather lascivious life with my beloved Siren.
In fact, having come to terms with the Autumn of my Life, I'm now looking forward to what Winter has in store.....
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Was THAT the Best You Could Do?
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Posted:Mar 24, 2013 11:24 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2013 8:47 pm
5069 Views
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Seriously, that is the question we find ourselves asking, time and time again. We’ve lost track of the times we’ve visibly cringed, turned our heads, and thought “oh no, they couldn‘t have!?” We sometimes feel like it’s a crap shoot when we go looking at potential playmates, as well as when we check out who’s viewed us lately. How often have we turned to each other to ask “what were they thinking?” The subject for today’s blog: profile pictures.
We freely admit that we’re not models. We’re not trolls, either, mind you… We’re regular looking people. If you saw us on the street, you’d probably walk by without a second glance (ok maybe without a third ). The thing is, we take great care with the pictures we post here and we sure wish others would too. NOT in any effort to deceive, but simply to present ourselves in the best light possible. It’s really not that difficult- it takes a bit of time and effort, but we feel the results are worth it. Unfortunately, it seems that many other people don’t spare the time to do the same. So, presented here for your consideration, are our top peeves when it comes to pictures….
1) The Ubiquitous Bathroom Picture: Ugh, we really don’t get this one. Why, oh WHY, would you show a picture of yourself naked in the place you deposit bodily waste? The worst offenders even manage to get the royal throne in the shot. (OK, maybe worse still would be when you can see the contents of the throne….) Now, this is not to say we don’t understand flying solo, and having to take your own pictures. Back when I was a unicorn, I took a bathroom picture because: I had no mirrors other than in the bathroom, had no one to take pictures of me, and had no clue how to use the timer. But I was keenly aware of that toilet. So I made sure to keep it OUT of the shot. And, somehow, the picture turned out fantastic! You could not tell it was the bathroom. So it CAN be done. It was such a good picture that someone even stole it to use as his own (WTF)!
2) Crotch Shots: So many times, we see a picture and turn to each other saying “Yup, it’s a dick.” Or, “Yep, she’s got a pussy.” We really don’t need an anatomy lesson, folks. We’ve all got similar parts. If you’ve seen one crotch shot, you’ve pretty much seen them all. Barring something truly spectacular or horrendous, we don’t much care to see unimaginative images of your bits. Unless you know you look like the opposite gender and must prove you’re not, please… no. Other related peeves are proofs of length (I‘ll never see remote controls or Coke cans the same way again…) and the stomach churning escaped fly dick-hanger (NO one walks around with their unit hanging out of their pants! That’s called flashing and isn’t commonly accepted public behavior). And... While I understand some people love them, I also do not care for cream pie shots. They make me nauseous, but that‘s just my personal view.
3) Old Pics: We know that Instagram photos are all the rage, but really, WHY would you post a picture that is obviously 10, 20, even 30 years old? Even if you’ve been in the lifestyle that long, its just working against you. We know you don’t really look like that. The grainy texture, the hairstyle, the clothing, the DATE STAMP! It also seems a bit questionable when the last shot of you was taken in 2007- did you misplace your camera??.… it just makes us feel you’re being somewhat deceitful and therefore, unlikely to hold our interest. ‘Nuff said.
4) Messy Backgrounds: Is it THAT hard to pick up an area behind you? We’re not neat freaks by any stretch of the imagination (those pizza boxes are beginning to look like the Leaning Tower….) but please don’t make us think we need to report you to Hoarders Anonymous! Take 5 minutes to clean the area that will appear in the picture.( Like we do when we’re going on cam…*wink* ) It doesn’t need a white glove treatment, but getting the junk off the floor would be nice. Seeing all that refuse and garbage makes us speculate that you’re spending a little TOO much time checking out profiles, and not enough on common housecleaning…. Have you cleaned up your Junk lately? And we’re not talking about the stuff on the floor…..
5) Unintended Items: Does your sister/aunt/niece/neighbor etc. know their picture is on a sex site? Yes, you’re there too, but we’re not sure they’d appreciate people drooling over them. If we might be interested in playing sometime, do we need to know what your look like from the pictures behind you? Did you really intend to post a picture with your street number clearly visible? (Are we being too cautious? Nope, say the people who’ve been stalked.) Weird stuff in pics- for instance, one picture sent to us looked like there was a pile of yellow poo on the bed next to frolicking ladies. We had to blow the picture up several times to determine that NO, it was just a condom wrapper. Phew! And as much as we adore animals and pets….
So, there you are… a few of our personal picture peeves. Once again, couldn’t you PLEASE take a look, and give it a second before you press “Upload”. If, in the end, all a picture might be is an advertisement for YOU, don’t you want to show us your best side?? We WANT to be drawn to you, we desire to be seduced, we’d like to make your acquaintance…. But it’s unlikely to happen if we’re scratching our heads or giggling. It’s like heading out for the day, don’t you look in the mirror before leaving the house…?? Ummm…..perhaps that isn’t the greatest analogy……
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No...What Are YOU Looking For....?
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Posted:Mar 13, 2013 9:33 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2013 2:43 pm
5203 Views
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We were scanning the blogs the other day, and came across a very thoughtful post by a Lady by the name of 2TeachMe1964 . In it, she pondered the question of how to respond to the ubiquitous query of ; " What Are You Looking For?" The responses made for some interesting reading.
We too have given this question more than a little consideration.Enough,in fact, to realize that we actually have come to cringe at the very posing of it to us. It's not that we don't understand the need for this question to be asked, and it's not even that we wish that people could show some more imagination in how it's posed { though we certainly DO! *wink* }. No, we get distressed mostly by the fact that the question is often asked as an opening gambit, which to us seems rather jarring, and in fact, somewhat difficult to answer.
It jolts us a little as an opening line because of the seeming lack of interest in knowing WHO we are before attempting to discover WHAT one might do with us. Perhaps it DOES come down to people simply being unable to constitute an original way of wording their desire to learn about us, but it still comes across as more of a " What Can You Do For Us?" than a " How Do You Do?"..... So, as people who take great pride in our ability to string a few pretty words together....It just ends up appearing a touch lazy..... Forgive us if we seem a bit{ OK, more than a bit! } elitist in this regard, but we all need to be true to ourselves when it comes to satisfying the desires which brought us to a site such as this, and for us a bit of seduction is a requirement to the process. Opening with, "What Are You Looking For", is the equivalent of the IM from a single guy that just says, "She's Hot! " It's unimaginative, blunt, and unlikely to actually pique our interest.
But, Far more disturbing than the frequency of it's usage, it is the vagueness of the question "What Are You looking For?" which truly baffles us. Because, for as many different people who solicit a response to this, there are just as many rejoinders. When we look at sirenprime as an entity, we do not see a concrete, totally fixed, immutable being. Aside from the obvious factor that we are, in fact, two unique individuals, there remains the consideration that who we are will often be determined by who it is we're talking to. In this, we do NOT think we are unique. People have many facets to themselves, just as do couples such as ourselves. So, it should not be at all surprising that we will have a different outlook on what we might find interesting from a 50 year old Couple, or a 20 year old single Female. Or, a Couple right down the street, and another one a hundred miles away. Or, a bisexual Couple, and a single straight Male. Or...if we're totally satiated, or feeling as horny as a Texas Toad. The circumstances that "move" us are as variable as the people who get in contact with us. Given that we have an extremely wide range in that regard, how will such a generic question ever begin to cover the multitude of possible play situations? Good looking-plain/athletic-comfortable/ bisexual-bicurious/ educated-rough / experienced-naive/ etc, etc, etc.....
There are just Sooooo many permutations to the wonderful gift that we attempt to bestow upon each other that it just makes no sense whatsoever to expect a reasonable answer to that frequently posed question. Until we know the questioner well enough to determine what it is that they bring to the table, we really aren't looking for anything. If all we have to work with is a no picture, no information, prefer not to say profile, what possible answer could we give? "Oh, we're looking for vague and undefined ways of having what might be construed as having fun, Mr.or Mrs.unknown person(s)....."
No, no NO! The answer to the question, "What Are You Looking For?" lies in the discovery of who we are as people, and having determined all of that, what we might experience together. Despite what might be looked at as elitism or snobbery on our part, we are actually very open to just about all scenarios {OK...Single males...bit of a long shot right now, but who knows how our mood might someday change...? } While we always insist upon our right to choose playmates as we see fit, we have not, and will not, lay out any hard and fast "rules" for who we might look at. We like to think that, just as many diverse people look at us, so too should we keep our options equally disparate. But, having said that, the question of "What Are You Looking For?" then fades further and further into obscurity. In the end, it becomes simply an opening line, and we will treat it as such. But, if we intrigue you enough to ask it, you'd best be prepared to do the work of finding out enough about us to determine if we're actually right for you, if we all make up a decent match, if we have enough parallels to sustain an affinity, if there's enough common ground to warrant moving further, IF, at the end of the day, YOU might in fact be "What We Are Looking For"
Otherwise, as well as being an opening line, "What Are You Looking For?" will likely be the closing line on any chance at finding something more.
And we ARE looking for that something more.....
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The He, The She,& The Loving Couple: The Holy Trinity Of Playtime
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Posted:Feb 19, 2013 8:35 am
Last Updated:Feb 27, 2013 6:58 am
4367 Views
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One of the nicest things about Swinging (ya,ya, we complain too much about what's wrong, time to be positive...)is the ability it affords both of us to express our sexuality individually, while still remaining within the loving confines of our couple entity. When we got together a number of years back, it was after both of us had spent a fair bit of time playing as individuals. We were in fact, one of those rare circumstances, where people who met with the intention of having a fling, actually fell in Love. Now, it would be understating it to say that we both were open and ready to finding ourselves in that position, but it came as a surprise nonetheless. Siren especially, had pretty much reached a saturation point regarding meaningless sex, but I think that's a common circumstance for unicorns. Women, more than most men, tend to want a closer connection, {yes, yes! Not always, but in general terms...}but I will also admit to having been ready for a somewhat more committed relationship.
Whatever the circumstances, we did find each other, and are still ecstatic over that fact. We tell each other as much almost every day, and revel in both the security and the intimacy that such a commitment brings to both of our lives. But...we might be attempting to deceive ourselves if, having said that, we were to forget that we remain two individually libidinous people, with separate lusts and desires unique to each of us. Although we ARE a committed couple, and intend to remain as such for the rest of our lives, that does not mean that either of our personalities has been completely subsumed by the whole.
On the contrary, and this is indeed the point, we remain true to who we are, while never losing sight of how content our relationship status makes us. Siren is the shyer of the two of us, I remain the bigger flirt. Siren is the quieter one, I the more verbose. Siren is the thinker, I am the doer. Siren's passions smolder deeper inside, mine visibly bubble upon the surface. Siren salivates for FF or FMF, while I itch for any combination of polite and pleasant playmates. We are similar, but distinct. One example of this distinctiveness is in cam time. While both exhibitionists, Siren, despite my near constant urging, prefers to cam only together with me, while I enjoy an occasional minute or two in the spotlight by myself. Neither of us is right or wrong in this, it's simply a matter of preference.
Another way in which we differ but remain the same is how we approach conversation with potential playmates. We both ADORE it, and think it is the keystone to finding real friends who we might share sensual times with. But Siren will almost never initiate it, even with people we've already started to communicate with. I, not surprisingly, will greet anyone we know as soon as I notice them signing in. It's not that Siren is less social, she's just so polite that she waits for someone else to take the initiative. ( With Manners like that she should be Canadian...) Chat rooms are similar. Siren is a lurker, I bounce off the walls, saying hello to any and all, and jumping into any conversation that piques my interest. Once again, it's not a matter of one style being superior to another, just allowing each of us to express ourselves in the manner that we find most comforting.
So....does all of this individuality mean that we're looking to play separately? Not exactly. I've encouraged Siren to set up a separate profile for herself, which she is considering, because of her craving for a woman to woman connection. Sometimes, even with the most obvious frankness, a lady with an interest in Siren might not even give us consideration because of our couple status. So, we'd like Siren to be able to express her desire in her own way, with her own words, while remaining open and honest about the circumstances of our commitment. No deception intended, just a better outlet for one of our sexuality's to be enunciated. Which is why Siren has allowed me to keep my original profile here intact as well. Despite it being a Single male profile, we've tried to make my status there very clear also. BUT....once again, there are Ladies who have an interest in a Male who has a significant other, so we'd be naive not to pursue that avenue in a effort to find a playmate for the two of us to share in. Truth to tell, I almost never even look at that profile, because, as we all know, Single males don't generate that much interest, period. But it is still fun to occasionally check in with friends, and throw a flirt or two out there to see if an Un-Single Single male draws any notice.
This whole swinging life is complicated and convoluted, but we feel that honesty is always the key. So, while we might be hungering and searching individually, we are always responding to any interest with our couple persona, the better to keep everything above board right from the start. We acknowledge our uniqueness, while relishing our bonds. At the risk of burning in Hell for all eternity for this slight blasphemy, we consider it similar to the Mystery of The Holy Trinity. ( One God in Three Persons, for those not of a religious bent ) In our case we comprise the three disparate subjects that anyone might find desirable ; The Male, The Female, and the Couple. But it is as the sum of those parts that we most want to be considered for playtime. We are ONE and ALL perpetually. Perhaps we should just create a new profile with the handle, "The Naughty Trinity"
Bless You Dear Friends!
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To link to this blog (sirenprime) use [blog sirenprime] in your messages.
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