Yesterday  

secret_lade 47F
11516 posts
6/24/2021 3:55 am
Yesterday


It was a tough day.

My mother and father were officially laid to rest.

I've had a lot of moments over the course of my lifetime where I've felt a sense of finality....

But nothing quite measures to the overwhelming feeling that you succumb to when you see a casket being lowered into a grave.

Thankfully I was not alone, the Brother-In-Law was actually present as well for the lowering of the casket, he cried like a baby. In a strange way, it felt good to know someone out there was able to feel this much emotion for him.

I wanted to....

"He went eight years without yer ma."

Sobs

"I don't know what it was about her, but he sure did love her."

More sobs

Truth be told, I kind of felt a little jealous and immediately felt guilty.... The likelihood of me ever finding someone who loved me that much is minimal.

It would be nice to know the feeling, though.

Happy Thursday!

secret_lade 47F
7591 posts
6/26/2021 12:41 am

    Quoting hippiechick1967:
    It's hard to sort through muddled and conflicted feelings.
    The finality of it makes you think about your own mortality, and ask yourself if you've done what you planned in life, etc. At least it does for me.
I've been thinking about a lot of things..... And asking myself a lot of questions. It has forced me to see things through a new set of eyes and re-evaluate. I want my life and my experiences to be something I want to look back on and remember.


secret_lade 47F
7591 posts
6/26/2021 12:34 am

    Quoting citizen4722:
    Maybe something good will come out of it now that you have met the family members for the first time?

Something good did come out of it... I got the opportunity to see my brother again for the first time since my mom died.


hippiechick1967 57F
13014 posts
6/25/2021 5:55 pm

It's hard to sort through muddled and conflicted feelings.
The finality of it makes you think about your own mortality, and ask yourself if you've done what you planned in life, etc. At least it does for me.

Elevate me...


citizen4722 63M  
72094 posts
6/25/2021 1:46 pm

Maybe something good will come out of it now that you have met the family members for the first time?



secret_lade 47F
7591 posts
6/25/2021 1:46 am

thank you....


secret_lade 47F
7591 posts
6/25/2021 1:45 am

    Quoting PositivityMatt:
    Don't quite know what to write except Best Wishes for you in the days to come secret_lade. I've got a lump in my throat now.
Thank you...


boobwhisperer69 58M  
7160 posts
6/24/2021 9:53 pm

It is a lonely world!! Hugs!!!!


PositivityMatt 48M  
83 posts
6/24/2021 8:45 pm

Don't quite know what to write except Best Wishes for you in the days to come secret_lade. I've got a lump in my throat now.


secret_lade 47F
7591 posts
6/24/2021 3:56 pm

    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    That would be a tough day. A funeral makes it so very final...like you're forced to admit that person is gone and nothing you can do will change it.
    And I think we could all use that kind of love.
They weren't in my life even when they were alive.... They've missed out on a lot of special moments. Neither of them had ever met Boot Camp Boy or the Spawn. I think I mourn more for a relationship that never was.


pagancountrygirl 63F
5861 posts
6/24/2021 2:45 pm

That would be a tough day. A funeral makes it so very final...like you're forced to admit that person is gone and nothing you can do will change it.
And I think we could all use that kind of love.

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


secret_lade 47F
7591 posts
6/24/2021 2:30 pm

    Quoting Granny872:
    Knowing you're an 'orphan' is a sombering moment.

    Regards, Granny872
Oh, yikes! Never thought of it that way.... I am an orphan.


secret_lade 47F
7591 posts
6/24/2021 2:30 pm

    Quoting 69ereatwetpussy:
    They lived their lives.
    Now you have your life to live.
    You do know what's it's like to be loved
    You just don't see it
    Your kids love you .
    Your friends love you .
    Your co worker love you.
    We jus met and I can say I Love You.
    For what you write .
    You are true ,honest and real.
    You just need to get out and she yourself
    LIVE AGAIN
    let someone into your life.
    He or she is out there..
    XOXOXO Thomas
Thank you... I needed that. You're right, I do need to get out and be myself, I have kind of cut myself off from the rest of the world. I've just felt so disappointed in a lot of things....


secret_lade 47F
7591 posts
6/24/2021 2:26 pm

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    A major chapter in your life closes. I try to find something positive. It helps me.
Positive - I got to meet family members from my dad's side of the family for the first time.


secret_lade 47F
7591 posts
6/24/2021 2:21 pm

    Quoting  :

Oh, but... Not the way I want to be loved....


secret_lade 47F
7591 posts
6/24/2021 2:20 pm


secret_lade 47F
7591 posts
6/24/2021 2:19 pm

thank you


secret_lade 47F
7591 posts
6/24/2021 2:19 pm

    Quoting big54al:
    That's the way my mother was when my father died
My mom was cremated and he'd kept her ashes with him until he died. The two were laid to rest together....


big54al 67M
2208 posts
6/24/2021 12:01 pm

That's the way my mother was when my father died


Laughandfuckfwb 45M
14 posts
6/24/2021 11:08 am

Sorry for your loss.


mc_justmc 61M  
6669 posts
6/24/2021 4:59 am

A major chapter in your life closes. I try to find something positive. It helps me.


69ereatwetpussy 59M
5405 posts
6/24/2021 4:24 am

They lived their lives.
Now you have your life to live.
You do know what's it's like to be loved
You just don't see it
Your kids love you .
Your friends love you .
Your co worker love you.
We jus met and I can say I Love You.
For what you write .
You are true ,honest and real.
You just need to get out and she yourself
LIVE AGAIN
let someone into your life.
He or she is out there..
XOXOXO Thomas


Granny872 68F  
3906 posts
6/24/2021 4:09 am

Knowing you're an 'orphan' is a sombering moment.

Regards, Granny872


Become a member to create a blog