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While I was Dreaming
 
Welcome to The Dreamery. There have been a few changes, but my blog is still simply a random series of Thoughts and fantasies, examining my past and my impossible future. Nothing on this blog is a lie. When I say nothing that follows is made up you can be sure it is the truth. Even the dreams are real dreams that I have had . And all the fantasies are my real fantasies.


There are however some questions which may never be answered:
Is it possible to actually laugh your arse off?
How sick is a parrot?
Are sandboys truly happy?
And just how mad is a box of frogs anyway?

And mostly, I do have it all in perspective!
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Its up to your knees!
Posted:Mar 1, 2018 8:03 am
Last Updated:Jul 13, 2018 2:25 am
10211 Views

I've got to go home

But baby you'll freeze out there

Just lend me a comb

It's up to your knees out there

There's bound to be talk tomorrow

Imagine my life time sorrow

At least there will be plenty implied

If you caught pneumonia and died

Oh baby don't hold out,

Cos baby its cold out

Side
4 Comments
All I Want for Christmas
Posted:Dec 19, 2017 12:44 pm
Last Updated:Dec 4, 2019 2:39 pm
11292 Views

I was sitting here, looking through the open door at the twinkling tree lights in the next room, and the open fire flickering in the fireplace, thinking about what to write this Christmas. I found myself thinking about what Christmas means to other people. It is a chance to be with friends and family, for gifts and good food, or a religious festival, or a time for wild parties and celebration, For some it is a commercial opportunity, but for others that is just the thing they hate about it.

But whatever your individual view of Christmas, I think for nearly everyone it is a time when our memories of perfect seasons from the past mingle with hopes and fears for the future. It can be an uplifting feeling, shared with loved ones, or a bleak and lonely time if there seems to be no hope, or for the recently bereaved.

I saw a silly B movie on the TV the other day, (I love Christmas films, ) and it reminded me that however you feel, happy or sad, you can never know what might be just around the corner, or what will happen to you, good or bad, tomorrow. And to me that is what Christmas is really all about. It is a time for hope. A time to remember that it is worth making the best of what you have got, however little. Or if you have a lot, to use it, and not to just drift through life. To make the most of every minute, because even if this minute isn't your last, it is one of only a finite number, and you don't want to be looking back at a life where you even let special days like Christmas go by without a smile.

I will be visiting people who love me as usual, and while I am away, I hope if you drop by you will find a message below just for you.

Violette:
Well, what can I say? You made it! Now you can be the real you. Wow I hope it is fun, and I hope you keep me up to date with whatever happens. I hope it starts with a great Christmas. Be a ;little bit slutty for me if you get the chance.

Rainbowsox:
I don't need to remind you girls to be happy at Christmas. Heaven knows what level of excitement there will be, albeit tinged with sadness at your family home this year. And your first Christmas as a married couple. Don't keep each other awake all night waiting for Santa will you!

Kay:
After surviving the fire, I hope it isn't too hard getting life back to normal. Run, Swim, Ride. Only without the run.

SexySixties:
(A name that always gives me hope!) I always look forward to hearing your comments. Happy Holidays.

Zandi, Hippiechick, Synndarella, Amakamaria, ColoradoRose, MostWantonWench, Skierchick:
I know you don't log in that often anymore, but if you are reading this, leave me a hello. Please. (Pretty please as Zandi always says!)

Oldhabits:
I haven't heard much from you lately, but often that can mean good news. I hope so, and I hope the New Year brings you a guy who treats you the way you deserve to be 't treated, and makes your heart thump when you think of him.

Marysia:
Barbecue on the beach? Have a good time, love to Roy and your sister.

StormyRoses:
I always think of you whenever I write anything here. I like to think of your cheeky knowing smile and your legs stretching out away from the camera.

Wildfire:
It's been a while, and we owe each other mail. How has this year been? Long time no blog......

BiggLala:
Anything you write always gives me something to think about, and I hope I will be commenting on your blog again this year.

Lustasaurus:
It was great to see you back after a while away. I don't know if you saw my long comment a few weeks ago, but I hope the process of being more you turns out well, even if it comes from a painful start.

Merry Christmas everyone, and if I forgot to mention your name above, leave me a comment and make me feel guilty!

Marsha! I nearly forgot Marsha!
Hi Marsha, if you happen to have stopped by. That's a rare event though, so not very likely. But if so, Merry Christmas, and come back with another exciting instalment of life on the ranch soon please!
Love, Dreamer.
18 Comments
Hi Everyone
Posted:Nov 22, 2017 3:38 am
Last Updated:Dec 4, 2017 9:11 am
11063 Views

I must apologise for not taking part in what's going on.

I just don't seem to have the vibe for writing here at the moment.

You will understand, because most of the people likely to be reading this have quiet periods. Some of you rather long ones!

But I miss the interaction you know. I am happy with life, it's good to know this place is here if I need it. But I find the periods between each log in getting longer and longer. And so I miss my friends, but somehow I don't seem to have much to say. Sorry about that.

I know if I don't read what everyone else is writing, I won't be lead down interesting thought paths, or see conversations I want to get involved with. That's the way it works.

I'll be around, so don't worry if sometimes you don't see me for a while. I'll be here at my desk, helping get what they want for their businesses, or at my work bench, sliding a plane over a half-finished guitar neck, or out on the river in my boat. I'll be listening to The Ashes on the radio, or maybe watching crime shows on TV.

Dreamer.
8 Comments
In Her Eyes
Posted:Oct 24, 2017 3:12 pm
Last Updated:Dec 19, 2018 1:22 pm
11114 Views

I look at her eyes in the picture,
They sparkle and I dream about them.
I wonder what she's thinking.
But that was taken, when? Sometime some time ago, Some time that I don't know.

She's sadder now I think, but still,
Whatever part of her was sparkling then could sparkle now
And I would love to be there,
To draw close and gaze inside her.

The rest? imagination fills the gaps.
A willowy curve
The warmth of skin
Long arms around my neck perhaps,

A story told half laughing, that smile beaming.
Soft voice, an easy grace
A strong desire.
Or is that too much dreaming?
8 Comments
Can it become too much?
Posted:Sep 19, 2017 7:55 am
Last Updated:Dec 19, 2017 12:45 pm
12239 Views

Can on line dating give you choice fatigue?

I am asking this not from a position of participation, but more as a people watcher.

As you know, I like being tempted, but also I am resisting temptation. I would need a separate life in which to be a sex-hungry slut-seeker, but as I have only one life and I am happy with it, I have decided there are good reasons not to be one.

Choice fatigue is a recognised marketing phenomenon, which you will probably have experienced. You are in the supermarket buying toothpaste, but they do not have your usual brand so you decide to try something else. You now find that there are literally hundreds of different types of toothpaste, even within the same brand. Your mind begins to glaze over, and you find it requires a significant effort of will to make a choice. This is choice fatigue, and it has been recognised by business a factor which can seriously influence sales. Some people will now walk away from non-essential items rather than buying them, if there is too much choice. Some people can find themselves unable to make up their minds about almost everything. The reasons are not fully understood, but it is thought to be partly due to a fear that you may choose something inferior when there might have been a better choice if you had only looked further afield, or spent more time choosing, or made sure you had evaluated all the options.

Can this apply to sexual partners? or more importantly to long term relationships? You swipe right, you swipe left (or so I am told. ) You send bling, flirt, text and go on a date. But why commit when there could be something better next week? Don't fuck - it might become a relationship, you might be stuck without the option to re-choose. After a while you can't even date, you find faults with every profile before you have even read it. Every email has a fatal flaw. You feel like Jerry Seinfeld. You may have developed deep seated, irreversible choice fatigue.

I know, I know, the easy response would be to say "pfft, chance would be a fine thing!"

But seriously, thoughts anyone?
20 Comments
Ten Years and What Have I Learnt?
Posted:Aug 31, 2017 6:44 am
Last Updated:Dec 19, 2017 12:46 pm
14459 Views

Actually it is nearer eleven, but I have given up counting. Since I first found this site and started writing a blog. I was curious. Among other things.

So what have I learnt?

1 ) A box of frogs really is quite mad. Actually it wasn't a box, it was a pile of old wood and leaves I was clearing out in my garden. I built them a lovely pond to live in, where I do see the odd one now and again. They sit there quietly half out of the water and watch me mow the lawn. But when I went to clear out the pile of garden debris by the paving behind the pond it was literally hopping with them, about twenty or thirty of all sizes legged it off into the undergrowth. I couldn't believe it. The last one, the biggest fattest of them all, hung on long after I thought they had all gone, right up to when I lifted the very last dead branch and then, with a sad look behind at me, walked slowly off and slid into the pond, where it sat looking disgruntled. Mad as a box of frogs they were.

2 ) A Sandboy isn't always happy despite appearances to the contrary.

3 ) Phone sex is nearly as good. Seriously. If you never have, and you get the chance, lie back comfortably in bed, and talk to someone who turns you on while you both masturbate. Stated coldly like that it doesn't sound that great. You have to be in the right mood, and it has to be someone who makes you feel uninhibited, and who understands the ideas that turn you on. You don't have to talk dirty if it feels weird, just hearing the voice in your ear, listening to them get turned on by you........if you let your imagination fly, it works.

4 ) You can make real friends with people you don't know on a sex finder's site on the internet. I was going to mention names, but then there are too many to mention and I might leave someone out. But you know who you are. I get an amazing sense of security knowing you are there if I need you. I would never have realised that would be possible.

5 ) You can't write sexy unless you are really feeling it.

6 ) I really don't like country music. Except for Willie Nelson.

7 ) I love nothing more than to sit in my workshop and make things, or convert old useless junk into something new and worthwhile.

8 ) A piece of creative writing is easy to start, but very hard to finish.

9 ) I can't help wanting to find a way of giving hope to people who are hurting. I am not always successful.

10 ) Men and women really don't understand each other, but the ones who realise that this doesn't matter can and do love each other.

11 ) That you can buy a kit to make an exact replica of your penis. If for some reason you want to.

12 ) That most women don't want to see a picture of anyone's penis. So I seriously doubt if they would want to have a replica of one either. But who knows?

13 ) That there is almost always someone out there who wants to try something weird, whatever it is.....see point 12 ) above, lol.

14 ) That "after changes upon changes things are more or less the same." (Thanks to Paul Simon for that one. )

So I am still learning how to really put the past behind me, how to decide what I want for the future, and how to turn and face the strain to make decisions where changes are required. I am about to head off on my annual recharge holiday and I will be off line for a bit. But I look forward to seeing you all again, and learning more interesting stuff when I get back.
11 Comments
The Sauce of the Woman
Posted:Aug 9, 2017 9:04 am
Last Updated:Sep 18, 2017 6:36 am
13710 Views

I was having coffee with a friend in town and it elongated into lunch. We went to a new American themed diner which has recently opened. I ordered a burger and fries, and the waitress asked me if I would like a dirty spread.

Thankfully she wasn't really my type, otherwise there might have been an unfortunate misunderstanding.

It turned out to be some kind of disgusting mustard sauce, but for some reason it triggered off other thoughts in my head.
7 Comments
Naughty Fiona
Posted:Jul 18, 2017 10:36 am
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2017 3:19 pm
14813 Views

I will admit to having a bit of a thing for BBC newscaster Fiona Bruce. She is a serious broadcaster, with rather less than sexy fashion sense, but there is no question she's got a naughty streak. After all, as well as the news she also presents a program in which she researches potentially valuable paintings to find out if they are "Fake or Fortune." She almost seems to have a certain affection for the art of the forger.

Tonight she had an slightly risque news story to report. South Yorkshire Police have been caught allegedly using the police helicopter to take videos of naked sunbathers and people having alfresco sex. The lewd arm of the law so to speak. Fiona did her best, but there was a hint of a cheeky smile around the corners of her lips as she introduced the item. I know in reality this is a serious issue - misuse of public funds, the abuse of privacy, a misguided sense of being above the law. But something told me Fiona could see the other side of it. The side which might make some some of us on this site think it might be fun to have a police helicopter spy camera of our own.

I like this side of her. Okay Kate Silverton looks sexier, but Fiona clearly likes the idea of sexual kinkiness. I wonder if she has a profile here. Cuminmynewsroom247 maybe, or BBCforsexyTV. No...that would mean something else.
2 Comments
Thirsty Work Fantasy
Posted:Jul 17, 2017 3:23 am
Last Updated:Oct 4, 2017 10:51 am
13963 Views

Waking this morning feeling a little more enthusiastic, and without much work to do, I decided to paint a window which is flaking.

I've rubbed it down ready to prime, now I've got to paint the fucker. But the sun is out and it is already getting hot. As I said to Marsha, typical English humid summer heat - we wait all year for a sunny week and then complain it's too hot. Anyway, I must get on, I have to paint the side which is in the shade before the sun gets on it, then do the other side later in the afternoon.

Maybe pretty girls in very skimpy clothing will walk by now and then to keep me motivated.

Maybe one will stop and say she is thirsty, could she please come inside and have a glass of water........
4 Comments
Only Half the Story
Posted:Jul 13, 2017 3:13 am
Last Updated:Sep 25, 2017 3:59 pm
14291 Views

Today someone asked in an email "are you happy?" or words to that effect. I'm glad it was in an email because it gave me time to think about it. I will probably answer "yes, everything is going really well," or something like that. But that will be only half the story.

The thing is, I would like to answer more fully. This person cares, (I think ) and deserves to know how I am really feeling. The problem is, I don't really know. Broadly speaking I am happy, but most of my life I have had an ill-defined underlying discontent, and lately it seems more acute somehow.

Certainly I have no real reason to be unhappy. Bad things have not happened. I have just about got enough money to do the things I want to do, and although I don't love my work, I don't hate it either and it is rarely particularly stressful. I have other projects I enjoy. I am not ill.

Compared to so many people, I am incredibly lucky, but deep down I feel........unenthusiastic. I don't know whether it is because I am tired of the way I live and would like a change of lifestyle, or whether it is because feel I am not making the most of the lifestyle I have got.

But you don't want to burden your friends with some nameless depression do you? As V says, you put on a brave face, because no one wants to spend time with a sympathy seeker, and if it is someone mean and selfish you don't want to show them a weakness to work on, and if it is someone you love, you don't want to bring them down, especially if there is nothing they could have done to help. And I can't really see what anyone could do to help.

Unless it was someone extremely sexy, in a very horny mood and skimpy clothing with long slim arms and gorgeous breasts who happened to find me irresistibly attractive and........that might help. Temporarily at least. Sorry, I am digressing, but it made me smile so that's a good thing. Where was I?

Oh yes. Being ambivalent about happiness. So do I say to my friends, "No, I'm not really happy at the moment, but I am not sure why?" Or just keep up the pretence on the basis that most of the time I am, really mostly happy. Maybe I am worried that if I open up the conversation they might get me closer to the truth of the subject, and I might realise I need to make changes I don't want to make. Because some people are good at saying "well if you aren't happy, just change things, anything, and see what that's like." I know people who have done this, and it works for them. Because as one door closes another opens. But I really hate closing doors. Especially when it is to a room I really love being in. The one place which always makes me feel happy.
8 Comments
Not Looking, but Seeing
Posted:Jun 16, 2017 3:27 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2021 10:08 am
15679 Views

I posted a comment on Oldhabits' blog just now which echoed something I have been thinking about recently anyway.

I was talking to a woman friend the other day, and she was saying how her friend had recently had yet another relationship that didn't work out. But although this friend of hers says she isn't looking for anything permanent and just wants to have fun, she keeps meeting the perfect guy, and then being quite upset when it doesn't work out. I mean you know, something like six or seven one to three month relationships over the last couple of years.

I do think the old idea that you find people when you stop looking is true. But it's more complicated than that. It isn't that looking stops you finding people. You have to be open to making new relationships for one to happen, unless you get very lucky or are thrown into an environment which has a lot of natural social mixing, like University, or making movies.

But It's more that whilst looking, we tend to look for our idea of what we want, which can stop us seeing the real person we could click with. In any case, I think the vibe some women give off when they are "looking" either sort of labels them as easy - which is why they attract men who want to use them, or else "wanting too much." Which may be why some guys get scared and run!

For men, or for me anyway, if I am actively "looking," I think I seem too desperate or too needy for the same reasons. But when I am either happily part of a couple, or just breezing along happy with life, not looking for anything in particular, but open to whoever I may meet, then women seem to find me attractive, and I find I can see them for themselves, rather than for some imagined ideal.

Because when you are really looking to meet someone there is a tendency to think someone is more compatible than they really are. So it all seems great to start with, and then you wonder why it never works out. It's because without knowing it, instead of getting to know someone, we fill in all the things we don't yet know from sub conscious ideals in our imaginations. We fall for imagined characteristics the real person we are dating doesn't have. I think that's what keeps happening to my woman friend's friend.

In a very superficial way it happened to me yesterday. I was in the park when I saw a beautiful woman walking towards me about a hundred yards away. Her orange running singlet and calf length black leggings caught my eye. Only someone gorgeous could carry off an outfit like that. Athletic, great figure, bare arms, sexy long legs. I really wanted to walk past her and smile. But as she got closer and closer, my eyesight took over from my imagination, and she wasn't nearly so attractive in reality. In fact now I was really seeing her, I didn't fancy her at all. I had imagined most of her without even knowing I was doing it.......
19 Comments
SSC Factor
Posted:Jun 5, 2017 5:17 am
Last Updated:Jun 7, 2017 3:06 pm
15368 Views

Bad things happen in the Big Wide World, but here in Dreamerland we carry on as usual, hoping the Big Wide World won't bother to notice.

I find I am always curious about the Somewhat Strange Coincidence. Of course simple coincidences happen all the time, and sometimes, what seems like a coincidence can really be evidence of something truly weird and wonderful happening. Or it can just be that the real cause is hidden.

"Cute" is a word I really used to dislike. I think it may be because in British English it carries connotations either of things like sweet little kittens, or a notion of the kind cleverness which is not altogether well meaning - a sort of sneaky selfishness.

But an American woman of whom I was, (and still am) extremely fond, used to tell me I was "too cute," meaning it in an affectionate, sexy way, and after a while I grew to enjoy that sense of the word. So last week, driving down the motorway, as I was passed by a very pretty girl in a little hot hatchback, I thought to myself, or possibly even said out loud, "wow, she's cute."

Then as she went past, I saw her number plate ???2CWT.

That made me smile.
5 Comments
Sexy as Apple Blossom
Posted:Apr 21, 2017 9:22 am
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2017 3:20 pm
16017 Views

I don't know why, but I always find the apple blossom sexy. Maybe it is the idea of you, semi naked, lying under the tree as the perfectly soft pink petals fall and stick to your perfectly soft pink skin. (That's a generic You by the way. It applies to whoever wants it to apply to them. Yes, that might mean you. )

Or maybe it is just because it is spring and I always seem to find myself wanting to get into trouble with you in the spring. And by trouble, you know I mean bed.

The blossom is particularly good this year, I couldn't help noticing.......

I had a photo of the blossom, ready to upload, or so I thought, but now I find it doesn't seem to have transferred from my camera, and I don't have time to re-load...........Oh well, you will have to imagine it. (The blossom I mean, not me re-loading...... Unless...well it's entirely up to you. )

Quite appropriate here on my blog really, all that imagining. Anyway, I will be off line on a little road trip for a week or two, so please do chat amongst yourselves while I am away, and I will see you when I get back.

Dreamer.
4 Comments

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