Memorial
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Posted:Jan 17, 2007 9:39 pm
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2007 1:55 am
3618 Views
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A Memorial
For my sister, my best friend, Nancy Dahlen, who passed away unexpectedly on January 6, 2007, I put together this book for your .
This is dedicated to the
bridge of memories from your heart to ours.
Yours was no ordinary life, but a life well lived and well loved. Your memory offers comfort with the enduring love we will keep alive in our hearts. We will remember the happiest moments filled with joy, and find solace in the many ways you have touched so many lives.
As I weave the stories and photographs together that are the fabric of your life, I can feel your gentle spirit like a whisper in the wind. My wish is, that in creating this book of memories, someone will often shake the dust from its cover and get to know you... and maybe tuck away in their heart a piece of your story.
As a butterfly lights beside you like a ray of sunshine, for a brief moment, its beauty and glory belong to our world... but then it flies again, and though we wish it could have stayed a little longer, we are blessed to have seen it.
In every heart you touched, in every life you changed, in every thought you inspired, your love lives on.
Your voice still echoes, your life still inspires, your light still shines...and always will.
I am blessed to have been a part of your life.
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I Want To Know
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Posted:Jan 9, 2007 1:25 am
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2008 11:15 pm
3507 Views
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It doesn't interest me in what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
I t doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the .
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments
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Everything happens for a reason
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Posted:Jan 6, 2007 8:41 am
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2008 11:17 pm
3419 Views
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Sometimes people come into our life amd you know right away they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be, but you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming these obstacles you would never realize your potential strength, will power or heart.
Everything happens for a reason and nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test limits of your soul.
Without these moments life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat roads to nowhere, safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet affect your life. The success and downfalls that you experience can creat who you are and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them, because they have helped you learn about trust and the value of being cautious to whom you open your heart.
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and to open your heart and eyes to little things. Make every day count. Appreciate everything that you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.
Talk to people that you have never talked to before and expecially listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to.
Tell yourself that you are a very great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it.
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Why are we here?
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Posted:Dec 3, 2006 3:08 pm
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2008 9:21 am
3988 Views
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I'm not sure why I am here. Maybe, because it's finally beginning to take on the feel of winter in California, with a chill in the air and the thoughts of the coming holidays. I've made myself a cup of hot chocolate, (from scratch mind you), and built a fire and now, I have a need to write.
First, let me answer a question that has been asked of me literally thousands of times... Why am I here on Polyamory Date. It could be a long story but I'll give you the abbreviated version.
Once upon as time.....I had as husband who spent all of his time on the computer. He received many messages from Polyamory Date and being the brilliant gentleman that he was printed them out. His brilliance shone once again when he left them lying around. Of course, being a woman, my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to check the site and see what he was up to.. However, to do a search I had to join and did so without a picture and answering the questions honestly, as I thought you were supposed to. (I've learned a great deal since then.) I found what I was sure that I would and thus the divorce.
Now, please don't feel sorry for me. I had been in a loveless, sexless marriage for years and in all actuality this was the best that could have happened. It gave me the impetus to move on with my life and in the process meet many wonderful people. Meet, as in message, email, chat etc., you get the idea. I've met only a handful face to face. I know, I know...I'm a coward, overly cautious, ( I had one very bad experience), a bit intimidated by some, shocked by others, still finding that I'm a bit naive, and trying to learn the ropes. Still, all in all, I wouldn't trade my experiences here for the world.
A few days later when I told my ex that I joined the site, he stated, "people are there only for sex". Of course, it never occured to him while he was professing his innocense, he had been a member for years. Go figure....
Let me get to the point that brought me here. In the sites list of questions, they ask, "What can Polyamory Date do for you?" Well, they can feed the hungry, find homes for the homeless, bring world peace, make me 10 pounds lighter and 10 years younger. (A girl can dream.) In all reality they have given me a tremendous gift. They have given me you..
I have been a therapist for many years, but most of that time has been spent dealing with with abuse, neglect or drug related issues. Not in dealing with adult realities. I didn't realize that at my age, I could be so naive. This site has taught me much.
I now realize that my ex was wrong, (Thank you!), and that not everyone is here for "sex". No, actually that is wrong, also. We all have healthy sexual appetites, and to feed those appetites, God gave man a right hand and women access to Eveready. While that may give us an orgasmic experience, it's lacking in........ well, you fill in the blank. The list is too long.
In my obversations, I've found that the reasons for being here are as varied as the people. Some are here to find a warm body to spend cold nights with. Whether it be for a night, on occassion or long term. Some are hear to find a friendly ear, someone who will listen with care and without judgement. Some are here to fill a void in their marriage. Some wish to find a woman who won't mind sharing them with a career that takes up seven days a week. Some find themselves recently widowed, divorced or alone for whatever reason. Some are curious, wanting to experiment, live out a fantasy, looking to see what they've been missing. Some simply for the thrill of the hunt, to boost their egos and easily walk away. Behind the annonimity of the computer screen they needn't face the hurt they have caused, and, yes, some 'just for sex'. So, no matter why we are here, even if it's calloused palms or dead batteries, I'm sure we can all agree, sex is no fun alone.
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Let's not
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Posted:Nov 30, 2006 2:04 pm
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2008 7:15 am
3418 Views
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Let's not go to the recital this afternoon. Let's go to the zoo, feed the animals, and stuff ourselves with hot dogs and cotton candy.
Let's not do the club for lunch. Let's go to the wharf, get some crab legs and french bread and sit out on the pier and people watch.
Let's not go to the concert tonight. Let's go to the beach, walk in the surf, build a bon fire, toast marshmallows and make love in the moonlight.
Let's not sit in front of the television. Let's go to the park and fly kites or ride on the carousel, lie on our backs and see what images we find in the clouds and listen to the laughter of .
Let's not go to work today. Let's take back our lives, if only briefly, and find the joy.
Let's not forget what it's like to be young. Let's live
Tomorrow we can be grown ups again.
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Touch me
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Posted:Nov 30, 2006 1:36 pm
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2008 7:12 am
3415 Views
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I don't care whether it's physically or emotionally, just touch me.
When we are together this night let's just sit on the couch settled in before the fire, our favorite bottle of wine and an old movie, put your arm around me.....put your hand on my thigh....run your fingers through my hair, please. Any gesture to let me know that I'm not alone. Just touch me.
When the hero in the movie finds that he can't save his love and she is lost in the end, let me see the moisture in your eyes or a tear on your cheek and touch my heart.
Rest your head in my lap, close your eyes and sleep the sleep of the innocent. Let me see the boy that remains in the man and touch my soul.
Simply touch me and let me know that I live..
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A Different Christmas Poem
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Posted:Nov 26, 2006 7:46 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2008 5:36 am
3733 Views
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Different Christmas Poem
The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhap s just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my .
"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts.
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night." "It's my duty to stand at
the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own in more than a while, But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall"
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your ."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."
LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN
30th Naval Construction Regiment
OIC, Logistics Cell One
Al Taqqadum, Iraq
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