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Cleverly Disquised As A Responcible Adult!!! I'm just a girl with a brain that never sleeps, it's always working nonstop. I am a survivor seeking to be a thriver, a wife, an ex-wife, a lover, a polyamorous bi-sexual, a mother, a step-mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an anima l & nature lover, an open adoption birth mother, an educator, a swinger, a cheater, an abused child and woman, a survivor of that and so many others, always striving not to be the abuser, I need a place to be, to put it all out there, "maybe if it's no longer inside of me it won't keep threatening the life it belongs to". This is my therapy couch. I appreciate you reading, commenting and watching. Thanks for listening or not.
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Happy New Year!
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Posted:Dec 31, 2013 4:18 pm
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2014 10:08 am
160249 Views
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Just wanted to take a minute to stop long enough to pop in here and wish you all a fabulous Happy New Year. Hopefully I can find a pic to put a smile on your face to start the New Year off right. May 2014 bring you all the love, joy, happiness, peace and prosperity you can stand.
Kisses,
LA
Pic Notes:
Pic 1 - A boob shot from my opening night in the Christmas Celebration musical I was in at the local theatre. I'll try to find something else more stimulating...lol...
Pic 2 - My ass grappling for presents under the Christmas tree.
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My Early Christmas Gift
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Posted:Nov 13, 2013 7:45 pm
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2014 10:08 am
163695 Views
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My Early Christmas Gift
I had the most amazing conversation on FB tonight. I got to talk to someone I’ve waited 20 years to talk to. A hole in my heart and soul finally received that final stitch it needed to start healing. There is no better feeling than knowing that the hardest decision of my life, made out of pure love was/has always been seen as the best and right decision. Tonight I'm thankful to FB for helping me reach across the world to find the missing piece of my heart and thankful for the acceptance and love returned.
For those of you who don’t know, I gave up my in an open adoption in NY almost 20 years ago. She will be 20 this May. Her parents kept in touch with me until she was about 15 but then I hadn’t heard anything since. I was about to write another letter to the adoption agency when something told me to search for her on the internet and FB. I found her high school graduation in the newspaper and then an article about where she was going to college. Then I found her sister’s twitter account, then her sister’s FB account and finally her account. I sent her a friend request and a message hoping that she would be willing to talk to me. We chatted for almost 2 hours. I am truly blown away that this day has finally come. In all my wildest dreams I never hoped to have a reunion with her go so smoothly.
I’m so thankful to her parents for being so open with her and making sure that she understood how much I loved her and only made the choice to give her up because I wanted a better life for her. She is so amazingly smart and beautiful. I can’t believe how much she and Lil Bit look alike. She’s so open and willing to share her life with me and Lil Bit. She’s going to be studying abroad in Europe next year and plans to come visit us. There is no better gift for me this Christmas than having her back in my life.
I have lots more to write but not enough time. Take care sweet pervs and love each other well.
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The Viking Cometh!
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Posted:Sep 29, 2013 2:42 pm
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2014 10:07 am
166355 Views
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My Viking will be home again tomorrow! Hip hip hooray! I can't wait! To celebrate his homecoming you all get another dose of naked booty in boots.
I have to get to bed soon as I have a long day tomorrow with picking him up at the airport, farm pick-up, a late lunch and then my 1st day of tutoring. Then I finally will get to come home and ravish my Viking!
Hope you all had a great weekend and have a marvelous week. Be happy and love each other well!
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Fuck You Friday! Duplicate
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Posted:Sep 27, 2013 3:18 pm
Last Updated:Oct 30, 2013 1:19 am
166402 Views
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Not sure how I wound up with a double post but since I have comments on both of them I won't delete one. I'll post again soon.
I'm so grateful for the friends, old and new who have stuck by me and continue to read and comment on my blog despite my not being here much lately. So I thought I'd post some gratuitous nakedness to show you pervs how much I appreciate your shows of support and love. My Viking promises to make my Monday so orgasmic that I will forget not getting fucked this Friday...lol...
These are the 2nd pair of purple Diesel boots that I bought at my favorite thrift shop. I love both pairs and no doubt you will be seeing many pics of me in them both with and without clothes. Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend. Be happy and love each other well.
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Fuck You Friday!
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Posted:Sep 27, 2013 2:44 pm
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2013 11:34 am
166387 Views
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I'm so grateful for the friends, old and new who have stuck by me and continue to read and comment on my blog despite my not being here much lately. So I thought I'd post some gratuitous nakedness to show you pervs how much I appreciate your shows of support and love. My Viking promises to make my Monday so orgasmic that I will forget not getting fucked this Friday...lol...
These are the 2nd pair of purple Diesel boots that I bought at my favorite thrift shop. I love both pairs and no doubt you will be seeing many pics of me in them both with and without clothes. Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend. Be happy and love each other well.
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Opening Doors
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Posted:Sep 26, 2013 4:11 pm
Last Updated:Oct 30, 2013 1:18 am
158359 Views
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Apparently, I should be writing my complaints in my blog posts more often because no sooner had I posted the last blog than all manner of things I was venting and complaining about started to fall into place. Perhaps my venting and writing provides me the impetus I need to get things moving the way I want or perhaps the universe hears my kvetching and just wants me to shut up…loll…In any case I’m glad and excited.
My GF brought over her 2 pups to play with our furbaby. He misses being part of a pack and having his 2 GF’s visit keeps his spirits up. We spent the afternoon hanging out noshing, drinking wine, chatting and laughing at the dogs and parrots interactions. I miss my GF’s back home but feel really blessed to have found someone here I get along with so famously. This community of women is highly cliquish and fake. Neither of us fit in and that makes for a great friendship. I haven’t had a GF I was able to enjoy spending this much time with since I was in High School. Even then my home life made that difficult. Now I have so much freedom to explore sometimes I’m not sure what to do with it.
Later that day I decided to write. Feeling an odd mixture of concern, consternation and vexation at not having heard from my beloved Viking, I fired off a signature brain dump of an email to him. I was not really worried about him since I was prepared for the fact that he might not be in contact until just before he came home but that didn’t stop my pique from not being in touch with him. Writing my feelings always makes me feel better even when I know I’m not going to get any response and with my Viking I always know I’ll get a meaningful response as soon as he can answer. Much to my delight within a few hours I had not only a wonderful email from him but a phone call. I finally seemed to be able to get my point across. I’m really happy that he agreed we need to focus a bit more attention on us and have no doubt that we will have this love affair back up to our previous ridiculously high standards in no time at all.
My interview went very well, at least from my perspective. The position was basically a flex time daycare substitute position which is not exactly what I’m looking for but not out of the realm of things I’m comfortable doing. I was overly qualified and may not get the position because of that but it was good for me to interview for the 1st time in several years. I need to remember to prepare for the question all interviewers seem to ask about what I consider my strength and weakness. That always catches me off guard and I have a hard time answering.
My job search had been stalled. No one at the elementary school was any help, my emails and phone calls to the HR headquarters were unanswered but another substitute who helps with Lil Bit’s after school activities suggested I try talking to the middle school instead. Feeling very positive about my interview I stepped across the street to the middle school to see if they could offer me any assistance in figuring out why the hiring process for substitute teaching was stalled. Again I was very pleasantly surprised to find someone more than willing to help. In short order I had the answers and paperwork I needed along with an assurance that my skill set was highly sought after there. As of today my paperwork is submitted and as soon as my background check is complete (less than 2 weeks) I should be substitute teaching and tutoring at the middle school for great pay. Not only does the school have a need for subs but they also have a very well paid tutoring system within the school and as a private tutor which I will be doing. The staff there was very friendly and helpful, unlike at the elementary school. I’m really looking forward to working with them.
On that high note I headed to the volunteer center to see if the trend of answer finding would continue. I had sent interest letters in response to several volunteer requests but heard nothing back. It did! The roadblocks were navigated. Now I’m helping to organize and start up a new program of volunteer tutors for special needs. I start tutoring with special needs or who are members of a special needs family as a volunteer on Monday. I have a volunteer orientation to attend next week for volunteering with the vet clinic and a few other positions. I’m really excited to have job and volunteer opportunities opening up for me again. I really like feeling like I’m giving something valuable back to the community I live in.
I’ve managed to work out every day this week and that also makes me feel very good. I just need to maintain this nice routine and balance I’ve found even after I add all of these other jobs. That won’t be easy. Finding a balance is always hard for me. I like to throw myself into new projects, get them up, running, striving and then turn them over to other people to do daily maintenance and drudgery. I am truly an introvert and like having my alone time. On the other hand I find it hard to say no sometimes. I have my art stuff set up in the basement just waiting for me to go get creative. I need lots of free time to do that. Like writing I can’t do it with someone looking over my shoulder or interrupting every 5 minutes. The Viking is the only person I can spend copious amounts of time with and not feel like I’m being intruded on or that my batteries are being drained.
Lil Bit is driving me insane with the level of attention she wants. It seems she has completely forgotten how to self-sooth and entertain other than watching movies on the boob tube. I think when we go back for her allergy checkup I’m going to ask the Dr to refer us to see a therapist. Perhaps talking to someone else will help her understand that she needs to be more independent, self-reliant and responsible. I am quickly reaching the point of needing to take a “mommy-cation”. In fact, I’m in the process of making plans for a weekend away with a GF in the next month or so. Look out Amsterdam, here we come!
Of course since the Viking is gone there has to be some crisis so late last night as I’m making dinner the propane for our stove runs out. The Italian artist landlord has literally just left. I don’t have his phone # and have a full day or errands the next day. The tank is too heavy for me to lift to refill or even to switch it with one of the less used ones. Normally the Viking would handle all of that with ease. Luckily, there is a service help desk to facilitate communications between landlord and tenant. I tried calling this morning but knew them getting back to me was a long shot so after getting Lil Bit from school we stopped by there. With me sitting in the office they were happy to call the landlord and he graciously refilled the tank for me. Hooray crisis averted and we are cooking with gas again. Literally!
The stores have all the new fall fashions in and I got hooked when I stopped in the Italian equivalent of Wal-Mart for some fresh mozzarella, mascarpone cheese, snacks and olive oil. Even the budget stores like this have great clothes. I love the clothes here. I bought a couple of cardigans and a new dress plus found a lovely scarf for my GF’s bday coming up in Nov. What should have been a 30 euro shopping trip turned into 120 but since the Viking gave his blessing for me to spend I didn’t feel too bad. Besides with my volunteering and working I’m going to need more good clothes.
My new purple boots sent me costume shopping and I’m excited about Halloween! I really think we need to make Halloween a multiple day celebration...lol…I’m going to try to get the costume box out and do a photo shoot soon. I’ll be ordering the rest of my Daphne costume, the Viking’s Shaggy, Lil Bit’s Velma and her choice for her trick or treat costume, a Can Can dancer or monarch butterfly. In the meantime, here’s another pic from my shopping spree shoot. Take care sexy pervs and love each other well.
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Nympho No More
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Posted:Sep 23, 2013 2:00 pm
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2013 2:12 pm
158223 Views
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My life has settled into a very contented, if sometimes boring existence. Mondays I do Pilates with my Italian BFF and then we go pick up our veggies from the farm. Sometimes we have time to do lunch together. Sometimes I have a massage. The girl has track 2 days a week and swim lessons the other 2 days. She starts choir on Mondays this week. Her grades are good and she is slowly realizing that she is going to have to be more responsible and stepping up to the task. Getting her to engage her brain is proving more difficult but we are determined that she will begin thinking for herself so we refuse to hand feed her information and answers.
On track days I go do power pump while she runs. I’ve upped my weights twice since the beginning of the month and am proud of myself for going more regularly. I feel healthier and stronger but there’s no indication of that on the scale or in my clothes. I started tracking my calories at the start of the month and so far seem to be under my target consumption. I just need to keep my exercise up to schedule. I have a follow up appointment with the wellness center next and they will re-measure my body fat versus lean muscle mass composition.
Our little garden is still yielding lots of tomatoes, orange & red bell peppers, hot peppers, a little broccoli and eggplant. The fall garden is coming up. I’ve planted spinach, cauliflower, carrots, broccoli and snow peas. The spinach at the beginning of the summer was a huge success so I’m hoping this batch will go as well. We both eat a lot of spinach and having it fresh from the garden is a real treat. I got brave and bought a couple of house plants that I hope to manage not to kill. I have about 50 bulbs of spring flowers to plant in the next week.
The Viking has settled into the new job and just left for his first work trip. This is a short one so I’m not really nervous about it. My job search is frustratingly stalled. Although I was surprised to get a call to interview at one of the childcare facilities today so we will see how that goes.
I finally got into see the OB/GYN who specializes in fertility issues. I spent over an hour in his office discussing and troubleshooting the problem. He’s very thorough and understanding. We are incredibly lucky that he is here while we are having this issue. Normally there isn’t much that can be done because the Dr’s here are not fertility specialist and won’t deal with the problem. My Italian BFF who is also having fertility issue is seeing the same Dr. She had been to see an Italian fertility clinic but wanted to see what the American medical system could offer once the Italian side stalled without a significant inpouring of money. I have had 2 separate batteries of tests for a myriad of possible underlying conditions that might be causing the miscarriages as well as indicators of my ability to get pregnant. All of the test results came back as normal or better. The only other things to be done now are tests once I get pregnant again. The last 2 months we haven’t gotten pregnant. Of course with us having less and less sex the few days when we “have to” seem even more like a chore. As I’ve said before telling my Viking he has to make a sperm deposit and keeping my ass on a pillow for 15 minutes after sex really have a way of taking the magic out of the moment. If I’m not pregnant in another 2 months I’ll ask the Dr. to put me on something to speed the process along despite the side effects. As par the course more and more of my family and friends are spontaneously getting pregnant and giving birth to their darling offspring. Most of the time I’m thrilled for them but then someone will say something like “oh we wanted to wait but…” or something similar and all I can think is why is it so easy for some and so hard for others.
For all intents and purposes the Nympho has returned to domestic Goddess status. The Nympho has been relegated to hibernation. Sex has become a method of procreation, Viking obligation or mechanical satisfaction. I don’t know what changed or why. Don’t get me wrong I’m very happy with my life and love. I’ve never been more secure or felt more loved. I think what bothers me, worries me and makes me anxious is the question of should I really be this happy and content without sex and that we aren’t questioning why or if it’s a good thing. It just is.
I keep reminding myself we’ve only been back together 4 months but I’m impatient. I know there’s been too many major adjustments in that short 4 months; having to let 3 beloved furbabies go, the move to Italy, his change in jobs, a miscarriage, full-time parenting for the 1st time, the stress of not getting pregnant or staying pregnant, my sister’s suicide attempt, numerous issues with the rental house and probably many others that I’ve forgotten.
There was some serious resistance by the Nympho the first few months. She chased, pursued, cajoled, flat out propositioned and guilted the poor Viking into fucking. Eventually that got old. Being a Nympho without feeling wanted is just no fun so the sex drive dimmer switch was turned up and the batteries in the rabbit get replaced as needed. Although it really isn’t fair to say I don’t feel wanted. The Viking tells me all the time that I’m sexy and beautiful, even that he wants me but the sex just doesn’t happen much anymore. When it does it generally is as mind blowing as ever but I feel like its work for him and that makes me sad. I keep hoping we are just in an adjustment phase and we’ll find our way back to the awesome closeness we had before.
My mind chews and gnaws at this constantly now. I wonder if the pressure of trying to get pregnant and being full time parents has killed the spontaneity and maybe that’s caused some of the decline. I wonder if I’ve done something to reduce me to just another woman, another housewife in his life. I wonder if something I did while he was gone almost a year made him lose the respect he had for me as an equal. I feel like I’ve fallen off of the equal partner pedestal and have no clue what I did to dump myself into the pool of just another money grubbing horny woman scrabbling for his attention. I just don’t know and he doesn’t seem to think there’s anything wrong so maybe this is all in my head.
For those of you out there wondering why the wonder communicators haven’t talked about this the answer is we have had very short discourse about my perceived issues on several occasions. The end result is always that everything is fine or we are adjusting from some major event.
In other news of family and friends: what friends? What family? The sad fact is that the only time I hear from anyone back home is if I make the effort to contact them. Just like chasing sex at some point that just fucking gets old. It isn’t any harder for people back home to get online or use an international calling card than it is for me in fact having been on both sides I can say with certainty that it is much easier in the US to contact Italy than from here. I upload pics on FB so that the people who can’t be bothered can’t claim that I’m not making an effort to keep in touch or let them know how we are doing. I stay plenty busy enough here that it isn’t a big deal. I’m used to people flitting in and out of my life and being the only one hanging onto the ties that bind. Nothing new there.
The last time I saw my very wise therapist he said that my biggest challenge here was going to be redefining and discovery myself. That being away from the family/friend bosom was going to force me to decide what I wanted for me again. He was right and that is what I’m doing.
I was invited to a VIP party for a local thrift store that I shop at. They were opening the upstairs of the store and hosting a party for customers. (I’m sure primarily for the ones they felt would spend money…lol…as there were lots of Americans and well to do Italians there.) It was last night so the girl and I went. There were yummy finger foods of prosciutto wrapped breadsticks, caprese salads, cheese with grapes on sticks and little chocolate custard and berry cups. The wine and juice flowed while the belly dancers put on quite a show. I left Lil Bit to watch the belly dancing while I perused the racks. I hit the jackpot with a small chair for my antique vanity, 2 pairs of purple boots by Diesel, a purple dress, one shoulder dressy top, high heels and small backpack. Even Lil Bit found 2 really cute shirts. My new boots will double as part of my Halloween costume. There is a costume party at a local park. Of course Buster Boo is going to be Scooby Doo. I’m going as Daphne. My Viking graciously agreed to be my Shaggy and Lil Bit has the option of being Velma or staying home…lol…My new boots inspired me to take some new HNW pics which of course I will share with you!
On a final note, while we were visiting Lake Garda over the Labor Day weekend I had a reading from a fortune teller at the castle and festival we went to. I wanted to record here what she told me to see how accurate her predictions turn out. Her insight into my past and present were very accurate. She said my childhood and early adulthood were hard and heartbreaking and that I had built many walls and defenses to protect myself. She actually apologized for the hurt my parents inflicted and said no should suffer that way. She said my “force of will” gave me the shining future that I am living and nothing less. She said that I fought and worked extremely hard to rise above the “hand fate dealt me”. She said that my career choice as an educator was a true calling but that I would find a better expression of that calling with time. She commended me on fighting past my physical problems and keeping a glad spirit. She said that my husband and my were the centers of my world. That I would do anything for them and that my love for them shone in them. That my Viking was my “Prince and King of my heart and life” and deserved all the love, respect and devotion I have to give him. She said that I needed to let go of my worry over the situation with my mom and sister because there was nothing I could do to ease their struggles. That they had to fight their own demons. For the future she said that I would start working in Oct. Nov would see a financial windfall and domestic tranquility through the holidays. Jan or Feb would see us expecting a baby boy. The future beyond that held too many uncertainties but she did say that my life’s hardships (compared to my earlier ones) were behind me and golden years were ahead.
I’m not a big believer but I do believe that certain people have a talent for sensing and seeing things most of us cannot. I have had 3 highly accurate readings in my life. I’m curious to see if this is a 4th. Do you believe that anyone can tell our fortunes? Have you ever gotten an accurate reading?
Take care my sweet and sexy pervs. With the Viking gone for a bit perhaps I’ll have more time to hang out here. Be sexy and love each other well.
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Fuck You Friday (because I never seem to make HNW anymore...lol)
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Posted:Sep 6, 2013 3:20 pm
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2013 1:52 pm
154312 Views
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Just thought I would post some nakedness for the few of you that still read my non existent blog. I think of all kinds of things to write but everytime I want to sit down and write I have other things to do or the is around and I can't get a minute to myself. I will get back to my bloggy goodness sometime soon.
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A late HNW for the end of Agosto
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Posted:Aug 29, 2013 6:34 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2013 3:16 pm
148533 Views
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As usual life has been too busy for me to spend any time here or to write although I really long to sit down and pour out my heart and mind to you I just can't seem to find the time. My days have been filled with the house, prepping Lil Bit for school and running errands. My nights belong to the Viking when we aren't busy still dealing with household chores or errands. The house really feels like home now and I'm looking forward to getting some down time to just enjoy our new home.
Summer is over and the cooler weather has moved in with evening thunderstorms. Soon it will be cold and I will be sad to see the sun go. I already miss our lazy days at the pool and laying in my birthday swing reading my Kindle. We are headed to Lake Garda for a back to school vacation and last summer blast filled with amusement parks, castles, museums, zoos and aquariums.
I finally got some free time to take some naked pics for my favorite pervs and actually got a few interesting shots. Here's my favorite. I hope you enjoy. Maybe while I'm on vacation I can do some writing. Hope life is treating you as well as it is me.
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A Giraffe among Ostriches
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Posted:Aug 8, 2013 3:51 pm
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2013 3:15 pm
140076 Views
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Being a Giraffe when you are surrounded by Ostriches is fucking frustrating as HELL!! What do I mean? Ostriches don't like being told what the giraffe can plainly see coming from a long ways. Somehow the disaster barreling towards the ostrich is all the giraffes fault. Like if the giraffe would just stick its head in the sand and shut the fuck up everything would be alright!
Tomorrow will be a week since Lil Bit got here to Italy and 2 weeks since my sister tried to kill herself. I wish I could say there’s been some positive movement on that front but it has only gotten worse. As usual I feel like I’m being shut out because doing what I think is right for my nieces is not a popular opinion. The treatment center kept my sister for the minimum of 5 days. My mom took the girls with her to Fla. for that week but refused to even discuss what needed to happen in the long run. We offered to take the girls temporarily to give my sister a chance to get back on her feet. That would have kept the girls together and in the family without the state being able to dictate where they went. Both my sister and my mom flat out refused. My mother lied about her intent with the to me and everyone else.
The center released my sister Friday with some RX. No one has bothered to ask what it is or what it is for or how she is supposed to stay on it when she has no insurance or car. My mother took my nieces with her back up to Manchester to the family reunion the same day my sister was released. There she proceeded to do exactly what I said she would and turned the girls back over to my sister. Monday afternoon a deputy was at my sister’s door to evict her and my oldest niece and take custody of my younger niece. My brother-in-law got a temporary custody and protection order along with the eviction. My sister and older niece are staying with a distant cousin who also has 2 and a history of drug abuse and killing herself. Great environment for my niece!
There’s a hearing on the 19th but I’m sure my sister is burying her head in the sand just like she did with the eviction. My mother finally decided to write me an update on the happening yesterday! Of course I already knew what was going on from the rest of the family and my friends who live there in town that I stay in touch with. My Aunt had my oldest niece for church on Sunday and her neck was covered in hickies. The next thing will be my 13 year old niece being forced against her will (since we are no longer allowed to use the word r*ped) or pregnant. I am so furious with my mother and my sister for doing this to my nieces. The state is involved now, so it is out of everyone’s hands. My sister doesn’t deserve to have those but instead of doing the right thing and making sure they were together in one home and safe she will be selfish and watch the state put them in foster care or give custody to someone of the state’s choosing.
I haven’t answered my mother’s “update” because I’m so furious I’m afraid of what I will say. I can’t just ignore her because she has the fucking truck. This has so many throwbacks to my mother abandoning us as and leaving us to be abused by her husband instead of doing what was right and hard rather than quick and easy that I can’t begin to make all the parallels. As usual she will make any excuse she needs to for my sister and I will be the bad guy for suggesting that my sister shouldn’t have custody of her . I don’t even know why I fucking bother trying to have any kind of relationship with either of them. How the fuck can you reason with people who will excuse that kind of behavior and turn around 5 days later to hand the back into the same shit hole they were in?
I guess I’m going to have to find some therapeutic outlet here after all because obviously my “mommy” issues are back in full force. I hate this fucking shit!!
For a little added fun my own thinks I’m mean and using my husband to gang up on her. I never used to be this mean or yell at her. We are too hard on her and expect her to do everything perfectly immediately. I’m sure by next week this will be the worst place in the world and she will be telling her daddy she wants to move back with him. The is 10 years old and wants me to brush her hair, run her bath, toast her pop tarts and make her flavored waters! If she doesn’t get the answer she wants she just pretends not to hear you or not to understand. She spent a year with a bedroom on the lower floor of a 2 story house but somehow being 10 steps away from our bedroom is a traumatic experience. She lies to our face about stupid stuff (like getting up in the middle of the night or telling some stranger something) and gets upset when told she can stop exaggerating and lying or suffer the consequences. She wants to correct my grammar, swears she can read Italian better than I can while arguing about how an Italian phrase is pronounced but when I correct her the answer is “Whatever, you know what I mean”. I’m convinced there are still convents that house and school here we just have to find one!
On a positive note she has seen her school and daycare center and likes them both. She’s excited about the extra activities she will get to do. Cross county track starts just after the start of school and she knows she wants to do that. We are putting her in the last 2 weeks of summer camp so she’s not stuck at home that whole time and can meet some other her age. We hope that will give her a better perspective on what her age are expected to and can do for themselves. Plus I can use those 2 weeks to finish getting the house unpacked. She won’t leave me alone long enough to get anything done. School starts just before the end of this month so getting back in that routine will help too.
My post miscarriage blood work showed everything back to normal so we were cleared to try again even though I won’t see the OB for another week. That tells me they aren’t going to do anything until there are more miscarriages, so I’ve asked my friend to make me an appointment with the Italian fertility clinic. I ovulated yesterday so I expect to be pregnant again soon but doubt we will make it to the 8 week point. I guess we’ll see.
I’m very frustrated with my Italian language course. It will end next Thursday but the last 2 weeks are nothing but grammar. I don’t want to know grammar. What I need are useful phrases that allow me to build enough of a vocabulary to carry on a bare bones 5 year olds level of conversation so that I can shop, eat, say hello to my neighbors and ask for help if I need it. I don’t give a shit about whether I have the proper indefinite article or gender of the thing I’m talking about. People will understand what I’m saying even if it sounds strange. It will sound strange no matter what because I’m a fucking American!
My workout routine has gone to hell these past 2 weeks but I’m hoping to bet back on track starting tomorrow. I am eating much healthier but the cheese is killing my weight loss plan. We are getting farm fresh fruits and veggies every Monday from the 100 Acre farm. My friend took me and we go together every Monday to pick up so she can translate if needed. I have frozen several quarts of zucchini, eggplant and beans so far. Plus I’m eating tons of fresh zucchini and eggplant. The Viking isn’t really happy about it because he doesn’t eat those veggies. I cook one or 2 meals for him a week and I eat the fresh veggies the rest of the time while he scrounges for leftovers.
The Viking had his 1st office function with the new job earlier this week. I got to meet everyone he works with and their wives. It is a nice small group and most of the wives seem nice. At least it isn’t the typical uptight bitching about everything wife cliché.
A few new “only in Italy sights” for your enjoyment: on every road crew or construction crew there is one token woman/girl. She is always young, hot, gorgeous, long haired, perfectly made up and dressed in short-shorts, a tank top, work boots and hard hat. The men are frequently shirtless and in shorts but the girls shorts are like Hooters uniforms. Only in Italy will you see road crews in rubber boots, hard hats, no shirts and shorts. The road crews and construction workers all wear bright yellow or orange. The same crowd that honks, yells and flips you off on the road will politely stand in line for 30minutes with no pushing shoving or cussing to exit a stadium.
If you are a woman and pull into a gas station that is open with workers someone will come pump your gas within 30 seconds. If you try to do it yourself they will usher you back to your vehicle. If there is a man driving or in the vehicle you cannot find help if the car is on fire.
If you are an American trying to buy something in an Italian store there will always be some problem in the self-checkout line.
Italian houses have a max of 5-6 circuit breakers. We only have 4 and there are no outlets on the outer walls of the house. Try running all the gadgets a normal American house has on 4 circuit breakers!
There are no signs other than directly at the turn, rest area, entrance, detour or other thing you are trying to find. The idea of letting you know that those things are coming up before you actually get to them is a purely foreign concept.
Italian driver cannot use blinkers or turn signals. Telepathy is the preferred method of turn notification.
During the summer months crosswalks are obsolete. Pedestrians and bicycles will cross the road wherever the fuck they feel like it and it is up to you to see them, predict that they are crossing and stop in time.
At the Celtic festival we went to last week all the were given wooden sword to “battle” the Celtic warriors in costume with shields and real swords. People were also encouraged to practice learning to use a sling, bow and arrow and throw a spear. No protective gear was worn and no one was injured. In the states the spears would have been pool noodles and the sword would have been nerf material.
Italians do not sweat. Unless they are male road crew workers or half naked disgusting old men gardening in the front yard in a G-string and loafers.
They also apparently are immune to mosquito, bug bites and bee stings.
Only the section of Italy that you are currently in is “truly” Italian. Any other section you may visit is snobby and not authentic.
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Happy HNW Agosto
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Posted:Jul 30, 2013 2:32 pm
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2013 3:48 pm
127795 Views
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The Viking is on his way to pick up Lil Bit and return. I have a couple of days alone to clean and prep. My head and heart are working overtime to try to find a workable solution to my sister's disaster. Impossible, futile but that doesn't stop the wheels from spinning.
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Strap In For a Bumpy Ride
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Posted:Jul 27, 2013 3:03 pm
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2013 10:07 am
125251 Views
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Back on the roller coaster of life for me whether I want to or not. Wednesday was my 41st birthday. This is our last week of our free summer. My Viking surprised me by coming home early with an orange rose, birthday card and asking if I wanted to go float the local river. We’ve been planning on doing that for a couple of weeks but kept getting sidetracked. Of course I said yes so we pumped the tubes, grabbed some drinks, slathered on the sunscreen and bug spray and headed down the road a couple of miles to the Fiume Tesina. We passed a few locals on the 2 mile hike back to the spot where we could get in the river. The looks we got were pretty damned funny. 2 crazy Americans walking in bathing suits carrying tubes must have been quite a sight. The river is tiny compared to what we are used to floating back home. In most spots it is barely more than knee deep. The water is crystal clear and the day was gorgeous. It took us about 2 hours to float the 40 minutes we walked and several times we had to get out and walk around downed trees or shallow spots. The last part of the river is deep but doesn’t move so we had to swim that part to get to our exit point before dark. Next time we won’t be in any hurry so we’ll just take our time. That final push left me with some painful blisters from my water shoes. The nice thing is that the river is pretty shallow and safe so we can do it again with Lil Bit once she gets here. We made it out just before dark and as we were walking back to our car we were hailed by a buddy of the Vikings. He lives over the local pizzeria we had to walk past and the Viking had told him of our plans. All of our American compatriots think floating the river is a great idea the Italians seem to think it is insane…lol…We chatted with him a few minutes and then headed home to change and go out to dinner. Our original dinner plans had to be postponed because it was too late. Then we discovered that plan B was closed and wound up at a local Osteria. We had a very enjoyable dinner and dessert and headed home to happily pass out.
I woke up with the Viking the next morning as he got ready for work to discover that I was bleeding like I had my period. I’d had some spotting last Friday so we were prepared for the possibility of losing this one too. I let him know but planned on keeping my planned schedule for the day unless things got bad. I have Italian Language classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays at lunch time plus that Thursday I also had a physical to determine body composition, strength and flexibility, a power pump class and pottery trimming of the pieces I made at the wheel throwing class last Friday. I called the OB nurse after my Italian class to let them know what was happening and find out what the next step was. I did my physical and the pottery trimming but decided to skip the power pump class since the cramps were starting to get worse. I went home and took a nap while the Viking worked out and then we went to our postponed nice dinner out.
By the time we got home I was flooding and the cramps were miserable. I don’t know how I managed to keep my new dress from getting ruined. That entire night was miserable. I slept for an hour or so in between the severe cramps but was up every few hours. By early Friday morning things were calmed back down to my normal period and I slept all day to make up for the sleep I lost the night before. The Viking had bought us tickets to see Santana in Milan and I was determined not to miss it.
We did make the concert and other than being eaten alive by mosquitos it was great. The cramps ramped back up again last night but the bleeding stayed normal. We got home about 2am grabbed some grub and crashed. I’m still really tired and cramping some but nothing too bad. Emotionally, I was a lot more prepared to deal with this miscarriage than the last one. Having my Viking here with me through all of this makes everything easier. I’m still upset but not devastated like last time. I just hope we can get some answers as to why this keeps happening. I go in for blood work next week to see if my HCG levels are dropping like they should. Hopefully, we can avoid having to have a DNC this time and start doing the tests to see what is going wrong. When we woke up around 11:30am this morning I had an email from SS.
Apparently while we were enjoying the sounds of Santana my little sister was swallowing 100 tramadol trying to kill herself. My older niece was home with her luckily a friend came by to check on her when my sister didn’t answer the phone or texts. She was going into seizures by the time the ambulance arrived and the local hospital medevac’d her by chopper to the Medical Center in the nearest large city. SS was writing because my mom had Lil Bit and she was driving up to take care of my sister with Lil Bit in tow. Poor Lil Bit had to hear all this shit. I suppose I would have gotten to read it on FB if not for SS sending me the email! The hospital got my sister stabilized and they are admitting her to another center for 7-10 days of psych treatment.
Right now the are in 2 different places but my mom plans on getting them both and taking them to Fla with her at least until the treatment facility releases my sister. Frankly, if I were home I’d be making sure she didn’t get her back at all. She too damned selfish and self-absorbed to take care of her own and the younger ’s father’s family is just as toxic as my sister. I feel awful for my nieces and there’s nothing I can do to help from here. I am furious at my sister for putting them and the whole family through this trauma. She has spent the last 6 months to a year wallowing in self-pity instead of finding ways to get her and the out of a bad situation. She wants someone else to come in and fix all her problems so that when life isn’t good she can blame someone else. Now my mom will have to clean up this mess and try to take care of her . I hope my mom isn’t stupid enough to try to take care of Heather too. If she can’t learn to take care of herself no one else is going to be able to save her.
I’m glad Lil Bit will be here next week and away from all of that drama and bullshit. Life here is much more settled emotionally and it will be good for her to see that lots of people live a life that is not drowning in drama, trauma and heartache of their own making.
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Fuck You Friday!!!
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Posted:Jul 26, 2013 7:38 am
Last Updated:Aug 12, 2013 1:12 am
118926 Views
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I had an amazing Italian birthday followed by a miscarriage. Always a roller coaster for me. Finally feeling a bit better today after sleeping all day so we are still going to the Santana concert in Milan as planned. I will try to catch you guys up this weekend. In the meantime here's a Fuck You Friday pic from my bday.
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