Big Jim is really sore...best week EVER!!
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Posted:Feb 10, 2008 12:42 am
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2008 5:12 pm
30966 Views
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My youngest wasn't feeling well after we watched the movie tonight, and shortly after we put him to bed, he puked with full projectile vomitting off the side of the bed all over the floor. He barely missed his brand new Clue board game sitting on his night table...but that is the ONLY bad thing that happened this week! (he is fine btw, just some fruity licorice didn't agree with him... .)
The week started out with me going out of town on business, and I met someone I've wanted to meet for over a year. We met here in blogland, and although details of our history are quite different, the results were much the same somehow...the short story is, we go together like peas an carrots.
I've never met someone and felt so comfortable, not too mention so soon. We talked a lot about all kinds of stuff, most of the time in some state of nekkidness... . I didn't get much sleep, but some other stuff we did together more than made up for it. To my new friend, thanks for meeting me, and I'll say it again, I had fantastic good time with you Darlin..
We discovered something else since while talking online...she loves to cook! I love to eat and Perky Tits (the opposite sex cohabitation partner) likes doing dishes...so it seems like destiny we all hook up at some point...
I was a very happy camper when I came home, and Perky Tits must have sensed some competition or something, 'cause she has wore me out since about Wednesday...
I did manage to sneak out Thursday evening, and had a drink with my local friend and fellow blogger Saddletramp
The last part of the week produced some really good news...a new job!! Comes complete with much better compensation, company truck, big ol' territory to roam around in and company sponsored training once or twice a year somewhere in North America.
Just because I'm in such a good mood overall, (for a change, lol!) I want you to tell me...even if it's a small thing...
What is the best thing to happen to you this week? What are you thankful for?
lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS
FYI...I don't know why, but I have been singing this song in my head the last several days...maybe cause I'm happy!
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
His name is my name too.
Whenever we go out,
The people always shout,
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
Dah dah dah dah, dah dah dah
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How do you say.."Nice shoes, wanna have sex?"...In Chinese
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Posted:Feb 2, 2008 10:04 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2015 11:33 pm
31960 Views
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I decided a short time ago to act one my of my goals, which is to learn another lauguage besides my first, which is English.
I speak pretty good Redneck, but I count that as more of a die-ah-lec-tah than a different launguage.
My launguage of choice to learn?...CHINESE!
There are lots of reasons for choosing Chinese, the main one being they are an emerging Global powerhouse in business, another one is I have been fascinated with the country for years as one of mother Earth's oldest civilizations.
One last obvious reason is there are about 700,000,000 Chinese girls roaming around that big ol' country looking for cream of Sum Yung Guy. There are bound to be a few looking for cream of Sum "middle aged" Guy too.
I decided a good place to start was with the food. So far this week, I've tried Kung Pao Chicken, Moo Goo Gai Pan, Chicken Chow Mein (with crispy noodles), Szechuan Shrimp and Chicken Chow Foon.
The only thing I can say in Chinese so far is Nee How, a standard greeting, so I don't think eating Chinese food is going to help me learn the launguage any better...
I should have known that, because I've been trying all the tasty treats women have to offer for over 20 years, and I still can't speak their launguage either.
Do you know more than one launguage?
If you were to learn another, what would it be?
Do you prefer cream of Sum Yung Guy or cream of Sum "middle aged" Guy"?
Have a great day friends, and can you all say "ROAD TRIP"?...'cause I'm going away for a few days on biz-ness, but I'll be checking in on you!
lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS
FYI...I'm a sucker for Chinese proverbs, so leave em' if you got em'!
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I am gonna get hurt BAD..I JUST KNOW IT!!
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Posted:Jan 29, 2008 12:14 am
Last Updated:Nov 16, 2008 10:02 am
33192 Views
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On Sunday, I had a "situation"...Emergency Blog cast, and the gist of it is I dropped the lid for the mouth wash in the toilet. I grabbed it and cleaned it as best I could immediately.
After that, I put some plastic wrap on the the bottle and secured it with an elastic, and did the previous post...and left the lid and the bottle on the counter in the washroom.
The cats were going crazy playing with a little rubber superball, so I grabbed it, and put it on top of the bottle of mouthwash, it settled nicely in the plastic wrap...almost decorative I'd say...
Perky Tits (my better half) must have thought I was just goofing around...why she would think that is beyond me......but she went in the bathroom, and I heard..."Aww geez, can't you put anything away?"
I hussled over there, but she had already removed the plastic wrap, replaced the cap and placed the mouthwash back in it's rightful place on the shelf.
If I tell her what happened, it could be the end of me...especially because she has used the mouthwash since... ...but I'm feeling a little guilty.
Should I suck it up and tell her the truth?
...or maybe this is a case of "Let sleeping dogs lie"!!!
Either way, have a super day friends...
lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS
FYI...what they don't know won't hurt you, but only if they don't find out later!!
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Emergency Blog cast...
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Posted:Jan 27, 2008 3:01 pm
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2008 9:15 pm
31941 Views
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I took the lid off of my mouthwash, and I dropped the lid into the toilet...the bottle is 3/4's full...what do I do???
A.)...throw the whole bottle away and buy a new one???
B.)...rinse and replace the cap like nothing happened...
Thanks for your help!!!
lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS
.....Previous Post
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Keepin' It In The Family...
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Posted:Jan 27, 2008 10:02 am
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2008 11:12 am
30194 Views
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In the news this morning was a story that was more than a little disturbing to me...
"Police say a grandmother, her and some of her grandchildren tried to steal $900 worth of merchandise from a Target retail store about 17 kilometres south of Sacramento."
That's three generations, all working together in what appears to be "the family business"
Where I live, we're seeing families with the second and third generations applying for social assistance...just like Grandma and Grandpa did.
It's very common to see a family business passed from one generation to the next, or a farmer having his sons or daughters take over...so in some ways and grandchildren becoming thieves or recipiants of social assistance like their ancestors is natural I suppose, but not very constructive.
It just makes me sad...because "we are all created equal" may have some motivational value, but obviously has no basis in reality when a is born into families with two and three generations of negative history bearing down on them.
How do we break these destructive cycles, for good?...
What have you had to overcome, because of who your parents are?
lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS
FYI...if you need a hug today, I have some extras I can give away...
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Trouble in Paradise...
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Posted:Jan 24, 2008 5:15 pm
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2008 7:30 pm
31025 Views
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Ok, first of all, I'm not normally one to rub salt in someone's wound, but some news I read today made me...feel better I guess is the best way to say it.
A while back, I did a post called WOULD YOU WEAR THIS TSHIRT, and it was about my very strong dislike for Dr. Phil...there are many reasons, but the bottom line is I had a very strong feeling he just was not sincere.
So today, I read a story where Oprah is very ticked off with him because of his actions and attitude during and after some interaction he had with Britney Spears...he's refusing to admit any wrongdoing, let alone apologize for anything.
I'm not a fan of Oprah either, it's just not my thing...but I have always viewed her as sincere.
One consequence of this ongoing mood I'm in {as discussed in the previous post} is a loss of confidence...and this news reminded me that I have some instincts that I need to rely on again.
Then the opposite sex cohabitation partner, my Sweet Blonde Clumbsy Love of My Life, told me today that whenever she meets someone new, I'm going to meet them too...so she knows if she can trust them or not.
Let me tell you, that was a real compliment, and well timed on her part......many thanks to you my love {in case you read this!}...
Do you have good instincts when it comes to people?
Do you trust yourself?
Do you think Dr. Phil should be tarred and feathered?...or just tarred?...
Thanks for the very kind, supportive and helpful advice in the last most..you made my day!
lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS
FYI...never tell your wife she's lousy in bed...she'll go out and get a second opinion!
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'll Be Ok...I Think...
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Posted:Jan 21, 2008 12:29 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2010 12:36 am
31947 Views
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Throughout my time here in Blogland, I've shared a lot of stuff with you all.
A lot of it has been just fun, goofy, bordering on insane randomness...which can be me...
Some of it has been stories of working through abuse issues or dealing with the pain and sorrow of a loss or a challenge or two in my marriage...stuff outside that causes turmoil inside.
Today will mark another first for me in this place, talking about how I feel here and now...really since about last April.
I have fun but don't feel happy...
I laugh but don't feel joy...
I rest but don't feel rested...
I hope but don't feel hopeful...
I love but don't feel loved...
I work but don't feel accomplishment...
I get sleepy but don't sleep much...
I help but don't feel helpful...
I am strong but I feel weak...
That pretty much sums up the soul of me over the last nine or ten months.
In my brain, I keep plogging along, expecting to break through this perpetual emotional funk, but I'm losing energy...when is it going to end?
Have you been through this type of thing??
Did you snap out of it?
What did you do?
Thanks for listening...and have real good day friends...I mean that, and I'll try and do the same.
lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS
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Let's Have WILD MONKEY SEX!!
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Posted:Jan 18, 2008 5:16 pm
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2008 5:55 pm
32548 Views
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I just learned this the other day...while...you guessed it...random surfing on the inter web.
HOWEVER, this time I came across something NOT GROSS!!!...how about them apples??...
There is a fascinating species of Monkey out there called the Bonobo chimpanzee.
While their's is not a species without conflict, it is very minimal compared with most of the rest of the animal kingdom, including humans.
The reason? They have figured out it is much better to "make love not war"!!
In Bonobo society, sexual intercourse is used as a greeting, a means of conflict resolution and post-conflict reconciliation, and as favors traded by the females in exchange for food. Bonobos are the only non-human apes to have been observed engaging in all of the following sexual activities: face-to-face genital sex (most frequently female-female, then male-female and male-male), tongue kissing, and oral sex.
One form of male-male genital sex (frot)has two males hang from a tree limb face-to-face while "penis fencing". A special form of frot called "rump rubbing" occurs to express reconciliation between two males after a conflict, where they stand back-to-back and rub their scrotal sacs together.
Bonobo females also engage in female-female genital sex to socially bond with each other which form a female nucleus of Bonobo society. Females often leave their native community to join another community and sexual bonding with them establishes the new females as members of the group.
When Bonobos come upon a new food source or feeding ground, the increased excitement will usually lead to communal sexual activity, presumably decreasing tension and allowing for peaceful feeding.
How fun would that be??...an orgy in the buffet line!!...>>!
So, although there are certain aspects of this social routine that would take some getting used to, (you know, like rubbing scrotums instead of shaking hands), I generally like the approach of diversifying sexual contact!!
We might have to experiment with this social system of the Bonobo chimpanzee, and just think, we as The Bloggers of AFFLand could be credited with CREATING WORLD PEACE!!
Have a great evening and weekend friends, and be sure and let me know what you think of this!!
lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS
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Talk About A Truly Crappy Day...
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Posted:Jan 14, 2008 12:42 am
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2008 8:31 pm
32152 Views
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We have three cats here and one dog, and we caught our digging through the cat box...and our fears were realized as she came out with a nice light snack. I've never kowingly had a that was a poo muncher, so I went online to find answers, and voila, poop-eating has a name...coprophagia.
Now, I found this out on a blog posting where another owner asked the question...
"Is it harmful for my to eat poop?"
Response #1...
Dr. Adams responds:
To be perfectly honest with you, I really do not know. I can tell you that I would expect your to possibly get sick. Certainly a human being would become very sick and possibly even die from eating dog (and/or human) feces. I remind you that I am a medical doctor. I am not a veterinarian. Perhaps you would be better off asking your question to a veterinarian.
Response #2...
The Shit Volcano (3285)
Dogs eat poop all the time. Mine raid the cat box. If dogs aren't eating poop, they're smelling it, rolling in it, or carrying it around like a chew toy. Usually a poop eating is not getting the nutrients he needs. (We are working on this problem back at the Shit Volcano lab.) Try changing his food. He'll stop.
Response #3...
logsucker--
I can attest that people in fact do not get sick eating at least just their own poo. I have been eating mine for over 10 years outside from a little upset belly I have suffered no ill effect from my poo ingestion. Most times I eat about a spoonful, but sometinme my mouth is so full I can't get it all in one swallow and it oozes and squishes out my mouth as I attempt to down a fat grogan. I bet I have eaten 30 lbs of shit over the last 10 years, and no I did not get sick from ingestion, not even close.
Response #4
Poopeater--
I personally like my poop with pico de gallo on top or tabasco sauce, with rice and beans. Also, it goes great in burritos because refried beans are approximately the same consistancy, so you just get the flavor, but not the sometimes awkward pastiness of it. If you use it as an base ingredient with other foods that you prepare, it really doesn't taste that bad. I personally have never gotten sick from it and just like many other strange things that people eat (cow testicles, etc), it just has to be prepared correctly.
{...insert a bunch of disgusted people comments here...}
Response #14
French Coprophagy Extraordinaire--10.11.2005
I do not understand why all of you are so mean to this person. In France we do this always. Some believe there are nutritious and holistic value to this process and you all should be shameful for your lack of consideration for diversity in taste. Not that you would be interested, but this practice is often done in combination with an enema, to produce especially desirable results, very sexy, very extraordinaire.
I really, really have got to quit random surfing...I thought I was done for when I learned accidentally about Felching and then came Notsohot threeway
I still don't know how to get my to quit poo munching from the litter box......and I am not that anxious to go looking for any more answers!!
Hmmmm...did you here that?...my stomach's growling...I wonder what we have for leftovers..
Have a super day friends......and remember friends don't let friends eat SCAT!
lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS
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If we get a divorce, are we still Brother and Sister??
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Posted:Jan 12, 2008 9:04 am
Last Updated:Nov 16, 2008 10:55 am
30658 Views
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A pair of twins in Britain who were separated at birth and adopted by separate families were married without realizing they were brother and sister, a legislator recently told the country's House of Lords.
I read this headline and the subsequent story yesterday, and I just had to say...WOW!!
Apparently, the two were separated at birth and adopted by different families, then met later in life not knowing they were twins...but were drawn together by an obvious attraction.
Under British law, only a mother has to be named on a birth certificate. Such certificates also are not required to identify births that result from IVF or to identify the sperm donor.
In addition, British law does not require parents to ever tell that they were the result of donated sperm.
This case goes directly to the rights of to know the identities of their biological parents, including who were born through in vitro fertilization.
I'm still sitting here a little stunned about the whole thing.
Can you imagine coming out of the shower some morning and having your spouse say we need a divorce, on account we are actually brother and sister???
Not to mention the realization of everything else that had gone on to that point
What are your thoughts or feelings on this?
Hope you are having a good weekend...
lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS
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Times...they are a changing...
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Posted:Jan 9, 2008 11:50 am
Last Updated:Feb 16, 2008 7:38 pm
31760 Views
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I've been with my wifey now 10 years...that's my story, she claims it's been 11...meh, we agree on double digits anyway.
I have used various pet names on her over the years, and used various phrases when addressing her, for instance:
Princess...because of her ancestry from her parents in Europe.
Perky Tits...because of a self reference she made while we were chatting with King Nor one time.
Sweet Blonde Clumbsy Love Of My Life...should be self explanatory.
and my personal favorite...
Yo Bitch...usually reserved for times when I am needing Beer, Coffee, Food or Sex.
Now over the course of our time together, her exclusive reference to me has been:
Sweety...as in "Hello Sweety", "Good-bye Sweety", "That was wonderful Sweety", "Sweety, can we talk?" (I mostly don't like that use of the term, as I'm usually in trouble)
HOWEVER, there has been some change in the air lately, as I've heard over the last several days:
"Yo Bitch, Take out the garbage", "Yo Bitch, get your ass up here, I need to get laid", "Yo Bitch, start the car and let it warm up"..etc, etc,
There just seems to be something wrong with letting my 5' 3", 125 lb wife say "Yo Bitch" to me, aaaaand I do it...
BUT, I like it in some odd way...and let me tell ya, she is having a grand ol time with it too!!!
I am cringing for the day when she says...
"Yo Bitch, we need to talk."...
What do I do then???
What are the pet names you give to your special other?
Any expressions flying around reserved just for that someone?
Have a great day friends...
lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS
FYI...if you all can read what the pic with this post says, can someone tell me what it means??...
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It SHOULD be this simple...
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Posted:Jan 6, 2008 10:29 am
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2008 6:29 pm
30781 Views
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I was driving across town yesterday with opposite sex co-habitation partner and our offspring, who just passed the ninth turn of the calendar.
I MAY have been going a LITTLE fast, and I MAY have been distracted teasing my opposite sex co-habitation partner when that dip in the road met our four wheeled, four door transportation device...aka The Big Red Car
We MAY have gotten a LITTLE air time, at which point my opposite sex co-habitation partner said, in a slightly louder than normal and somewhat anxious voice...
"Slow down already, you trying to get us !#@?*&!!?? killed?"
Our offspring on the other hand, who just passed the ninth turn of the calendar, declared...
"THAT WAS FUN!!!...can we do it again??"
I liked his plan better, so I assured him that we would do it again, but we would have to drop off my opposite sex co-habitation partner first.
AND WE WILL!!!...as soon as I can find the car keys again...
In all seriousness though, isn't that the way we should live?...it should be our mantra...
"THAT WAS FUN!!!...can we do it again??".. ....happym;
lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS
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I can't decide...if I'm SICK or just TWISTED??
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Posted:Jan 3, 2008 5:41 pm
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2008 8:32 pm
30877 Views
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So, I was sitting here yesterday flipping around various internet sites trolling for porn clips.
Why you ask?...because I can!
Anyway, I clicked through this one link, and when the video player opened, what did I see?
I saw a married couple standing and talking with a youngr girl, and I'm thinking..COOL! It's always nice to see some threeway action, if you're not already doing it...even then I suppose...
I digress...next thing they are looking at something on the side of her head, just above the ear...a big ol' zit it was.
So, Doc Walker wannabe takes out a needle and starts poking it. That doesn't work so he takes a pair of scissors to try and cut it open enough to pop.
That draws a little blood, but nothing more.
Finally, he pulls out some heavy artillery and cuts the thing open with a steak knife. This time, puss starts shooting and squirting and oozing...kinda like the secret sauce from a Big Mac.
Now here I zit...errr sit...and besides being disappointed about not seeing the hot threeway I was hoping for, I now realize I watched an entire 4 minute 39 second clip of someone getting a zit popped off the side of their head.
...and I can't decide if I'm sick...just or twisted...
What do you think?...
lustytaurus.LUSTYTAURUS
FYI...I put this post in the Forums under "Pop Culture", if you want to find it later.
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To link to this blog (LustyTaurus) use [blog LustyTaurus] in your messages.
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