Grief
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Posted:May 7, 2019 12:49 pm
Last Updated:May 7, 2019 12:53 pm
1840 Views
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So I am learning that a person can grieve, or at least begin to grieve before an approaching death has actually occurred. I just hope that I don't broadcast my negative emotions to the point where the slowly dying are bothered by it.
My 93 yo grandmother has dementia and had a couple of falls. She is bedridden and I went to see her last month. I don't know if I'll ever see her alive again since I don't have the or vacation time available to make another trip UNLESS (knock on wood) I get time off to attend her funeral. I would rather not see her next under those circumstances.
Perhaps closer to death right now is my yo cat, who I took in as a 6 week old stray long ago. She is in stage 3 kidney disease and thin as a rail. She weighs half of what she did as a healthy adult. We have to give her several different medicines every night and subject her to a subQ every other evening. Last night she woke me around 2am because she wanted under the covers and against my stomach. She did not let me sleep on my left side like I prefer because she didn't want to be next to the edge of the bed. If I strayed from the position she wanted, she howled at me and paced around my head restlessly. This isn't normal behavior for her, and I worry that she's talking so much because she's in pain. I left a message with my vet describing her behavior. I'm afraid she won't live out the month.
My boss let me go home early to check on my cat and spend some quality time with her. Thanks for that, boss. I have set up a heating pad for her on the couch and covered it with a soft fleece blanket. She seems to like alternating between it and my lap at the moment.
I know I'm depressed. I know that when the vet tells me that she's suffering I will do what I must. I cry a lot and without warning.
Grief is hard.
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You Wouldn't Think...
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Posted:Feb 22, 2019 7:42 am
Last Updated:May 7, 2019 12:44 pm
2291 Views
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That it would really be that difficult to find a good match in a decent-sized town, would you? Or at least a decently good match. I'm not looking for perfection, but there are just a few things that I really do want.
Locality: There seem to be so many people who say that they travel. I guess that's fine if you're just looking for sex and nothing else. But as I have tried to make clear, I am not on this site looking for *just* sex. To me, a FWB means exactly what it stands for. A friend who I happen to have sex with sometimes. In order for the sex to ever happen, there has to be a friendship first! In order to develop a friendship, I really need to spend time hanging out with somebody. We need to talk with each other, laugh with each other, and enjoy spending time together as people before we get into the flirting/romance/sexy fun part of it. That's the icing, guys, not the cake. And to spend time with someone, they have to be available to hang out on a regular basis without a lot of planning and travel involved. That's why I want someone local.
Poly: I really need to meet people who understand what the poly lifestyle really means. But the main point here is that I do not want to have anything to do with people who are cheating and say they have to be "discreet". If you have a partner and they don't know that you're looking for sex with others and heartily approve of it, stay away from me. I need someone who is honest and open. I have zero interest in liars. You could be a fucking Adonis with the perfect penis and the knowledge of bringing women to Nirvana in 30 seconds, but if you are a cheater you will hold absolutely no interest for me. So what DO I want? That's fairly simple, really. Single guys are welcome to get to know me. Guys in open relationships who have partners willing to tell me that they are good with him being with me too are also more than welcome.
Disease-Free & Safe This one really should be self-explanatory and obvious, but... It seems like I need to spell it out for some folks. I am a woman who has never had a sexually transmitted disease OR . I want to keep it that way. Additionally, I do have other partners who do not deserve to get a disease because I got one from an unwise choice in sex-partner. So if you ever want to have sex with me, you will have to prove that you have a recent clean bill of health (no STIs) on paper and wear a condom. It's that simple.
So now that I've gotten my major points out there, here's what else I want... FUN! My reason for being here is to find one or more local guys who want to hang out and have fun getting to know me. I love hiking. I also like playing pool or darts in a bar sometimes. Want to teach me how to fish and then cook our catch for lunch? Want to go on a 'date' playing lazertag or going ziplining? Do you like going to a pub and listening to an Irish folk band? Poetry Slams? C'mon, guys... let's just have some fun getting to know each other! Are there any of you that don't put sex first? Because if you're really willing to be a friend, you can have the benefits a little later. 
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