Empty Nest, Empty Head, Empty Heart
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Posted:Sep 25, 2015 12:27 pm
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2015 11:09 am
1699 Views
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My girl is all grown up and off to college. I have the house all to myself now and find it a big and lonely place. I used to be her favorite person in the world way back in the preteen days. Now I am just an ATM and storage facility for her in between booty calls with her boy toy. Sour grapes...maybe. A little hurt, hell yes!
I need to go and get a life. Anybody out there want to help ease me back into a single existence?
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Furlough-gatory
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Posted:Jul 17, 2013 4:18 pm
Last Updated:Sep 25, 2015 12:30 pm
3075 Views
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I have just seen the most ignorant thing ever! I am certain by now that everyone out there is very well acquainted with the Sequester and the DoD Furlough. If you aren't, then here is a quick tutorial.
The DoD had their budget cut, but not equally, due to the sequester. These automatic cuts in spending could have been avoided, but our elected officials decided to play a game of chicken with our money instead of acting like responsible adults.
Many of the DoD programs were exempted from the sequester and subsequent furlough because they are "vital to national security". I think that it is pretty odd how most of the highest paid officials fall into that category, but that is a topic for a different time.
Each branch of the service was tasked to come up with a plan that would cut about 20% from their budgets. They were also told that they had to include furloughing personnel in their plans, whether or not they were actually required to get to the magic number (starting to see a pattern here).
This produced a 20% pay cut to the folks at the bottom of the DoD food chain. The people who could least afford to take the cut in pay were forced to accept it or "find further employment elsewhere". Some were even advised to contact their congressional representatives if they had a problem with it (continuation of the pattern).
These are the folks who shop in the stores, eat at the restaurants, watch the movies and keep our economy moving who are getting their pay cut. Eventually, this will trickle down and affect every business in the country. As if this was not bad enough, and here comes the stupid part, these employees were cautioned that if they violated the furlough, they could be fined up to $2,000,sent to prison for up to 2 years or both!
Can you believe that? Our government is threatening its workers with prison and fines for working for free! Most of these employees are dedicated, hard working individuals who normally "go above and beyond" what is required of them in order to get the job done. They answer their cell phones from home, check their e-mail at night and do whatever is needed to get the job done without thought of extra pay. I only wish the elected officials would follow in their footsteps a little bit.
Now these folks have been warned that they are not to take their work phones home with them. They are not to work beyond the 32 hours per week that they are authorized. They are not to serve the country in any manner outside of their normal working hours. All to make a point with Congress and the President.
This does not address taking care of abuses. On the contrary, it actually validates the people who refuse to go the extra mile unless they are paid for their work. Reductions in force were not authorized to help get to the budget target, even if those reductions were beneficial (pruning the dead wood so to speak).
I am dumbfounded by how petty and vindictive both sides of the budget issues can be. I am amazed that "we the people" keep drinking the kool-aid and pointing the finger at the other guys. All elected officials who have been in office more than one term are part of this problem. They could have worked to fix it or left in disgusted frustration, but they didn't. We the people need to step up and take responsibility for our politicians and help them to see the light of compromise.
Either that or we are doomed to continue with the mess we have until China calls our loan due.
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I'm Back....
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Posted:Jul 13, 2013 9:30 am
Last Updated:May 21, 2024 5:42 am
2689 Views
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It has been almost 7 years since the last time I posted on this Blog. I thought that I had thrown the "writing monkey" off my back once and for all. I guess I was wrong!
I guess that a quick catching up is in order.
My has had her first "summer boyfriend" which ended with him texting rotton crap to her. She is in the middle of her first real case of puppy love and is learning all of the hard lessons. I understand my parents better now. How they must have been so frusterated by their inability to pass on life's lessons to me and my siblings. I am feeling the same pain with my girl. All I can tell her is that boys are ... well, you know the rest.
My job is great! I have moved to a different company, was promoted to my level of incompentancy and have worked my way down the corporate ladder to the place that makes me feel content. I know that they think that I am crazy by not wanting more of everything. More money, more perks, more office space, it is just not for me. I am paying my bills, giving to charity and building a nest egg. What more can I possibly need?
By the way, did anyone see the pictures or news reports about the X47B landing on the Aircraft Carrier last week? I was the guy that got the system installed on the ship! I never thought that I would be a part of history, but now I am!
Love life still stinks. My is starting to tell me that I should go out and find someone. She doesn't want me to be alone when she leaves. How can I make her understand the terror of putting yourself back out there after so many years hiding behind the screen of single parent status?
Perhaps I will start making a habit of posting once again. Who knows...
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Throwing in the Towel
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Posted:Nov 3, 2006 7:34 pm
Last Updated:Jul 13, 2013 9:04 am
2951 Views
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Ladies and Gentlemen,
I am officially and unequivocally throwing in the towel. I joined this site 3 months ago with the hope (ambition, fear, longing) of finding someone that might be interested in getting to know me. Perhaps even finding someone who would like to meet for a little "bump and tickle" action every now and then. What I found was a blog, a bunch of guys circling the women like sharks drawn to blood, and women that were more interested in chatting than meeting. I also found that I don't have the time to spend "trolling" for the person of my dreams (both dry and wet).
Please, don't misunderstand my position. I came here with my eyes wide shut. I knew that the odds for meeting someone were better at church than on line. I also realized that EVERYONE cruising the net was in the same shape that I am in. Lost, alone and missing the piece of their life that would complete them. This is not my first outing. Nor, I am afraid, will it be my last. It will be my last day or so spending my money to post my inadequacies for all to read.
I hope that I won't lose my blog space when I drop my Gold membership. I do enjoy posting. But if I do, OFW! Life does go on.
Ladies, if I have sparked your interest in any way, please reply to my post. If I have offended anyone, then at least I have made contact.
Happy Hunting!
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The Pain of Stress
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Posted:Oct 28, 2006 7:31 pm
Last Updated:Sep 25, 2015 12:30 pm
2953 Views
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I spent the last week with a migrain headache. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what was causing it. My meds would not touch it even though they usually stop them dead in their tracks. It was so bad that I woke up two nights in a row crying from the pain. I could not figure out what was causing my agony.
I now know that I am an IDIOT! The damn job was tearing me apart and I couldn't figure it out. I had a major audit going on at the same time as trying to figure out a new contract. Throw in the 6 months of trying to get my property rezoned and just the normal strain of being a single father...it is a wonder I am still alive.
The audit is over. The Planning comission has approved my rezoning aplication. The contract is going as well as can be expected. I have peace in my life once more. Most importantly, I think that I learned something. I learned that stress is a real, honest to goodness hazard in our lifes. I learned that I can't do everything at the same time. I also learned that I should say no to some things and put off others.
Was the outcome of last week worth the pain? In the short run, probably yes. In the long run, I don't think that my accomplishments will be remembered by anyone (myself included) with the exceptio of the zoning.
I hope that I remember this nest time I feel the need to play superman. (I probably won't though.)
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A Question of Love.
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Posted:Sep 17, 2006 6:02 pm
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2007 5:32 pm
2922 Views
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I went to visit my brother yesterday. Nothing amazing about that. He is my 's Godfather, and I took her with me. We had a great visit. We hugged, laughed, caught each other up on the latest news and played Uno for two hours and had a great time. At the end of our visit, we all hugged and said our goodbyes. My and I went back to my truck and my brother went back to his cell.
My brother is in prison. He is a convicted felon who threw away his life for a few moments of pleasure. The idiot molested his own . I think God that he was caught and stopped. I feel blessed that he was never alone with my little girl. He will be in prison for the next 15 years and will never see his again.
He is still my brother. He is still my 's Godfather. I checked with the church on that matter. There are times when I would love to bash his head in for what he put his through. There are times when I could kill him for what he put our parents through. Yet, he is still my brother and I love him.
I don't think that I will ever fully trust him again. I am not certain that I will ever be able to forgive him completely for what he did. I know that we ask God to "forgive us our wrongs as we forgive those who have wronged us". I hope that I will be able to do that in the fullness of time. I still love him.
I have a feeling that love is an eternal thing. Once given, it can never be taken back. It can be replaced by hate, but even then it is still there. I think back on the people who I have loved in my life. I can remember each and every one of them. I have a hard time with their names, but can remember the feelings that were evoked. I can honestly say that I still love each and every one of them to this day. Even the little girl back in the forth grade who never knew I existed.
I know that love will come my way again some day. I am ready for it this time. I hope that I am wise enough to recognize it in time though. Love is too precious to let slip through your fingers. I found that with my brother. I hope that you find that also.
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Picture time!
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Posted:Aug 27, 2006 1:21 pm
Last Updated:Sep 25, 2015 12:36 pm
2961 Views
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Picture, picture, who's got the picture? I sure don't!  Who in the greater crab nebula picked the silhouette representing people without pictures?  I have been through each and every picture that I have of myself and can't find a single one that matches that silhouette.  I wish that you could pick a silhouette that more closely resembled you actual body type.
I found that I don't have that many pictures of myself either! I have tons of pictures of my . I have many of my parents. Even a few of my ex! Barely any of me though. I guess that is what happens when you are constantly behind the camera and never in front of it. I guess it is time to get some pictures taken.
Does anyone know a good photographer out there? 
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I can't believe I lost the whole thing!
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Posted:Aug 26, 2006 8:43 am
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2007 10:55 am
2902 Views
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Oh gods of electrons and thought. Why do you torment me so? I have just spent the last 15 minuets working on a post to my blog and, just before I can submit, it is gone! Could it have been a stray blip in the internet, or possibly a glitch in my computer system? Perhaps it was caused by a hiccup in the power? Who knows for certain? All I can tell is that what was once ready to be posted is now gone for ever.
I must try to remember to work on my posts off line and just import them at the last minuet. I must try to put pen to paper once in a while instead of relying on the fickle electrons within my computer. I must.....oh hell, it is gone. I better post this now before I loose it to. 
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The Party's Over
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Posted:Aug 24, 2006 3:40 am
Last Updated:Aug 26, 2006 9:39 am
2899 Views
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I can't believe that the summer is almost done and gone for yet another year. I feel like a in so many ways. Wishing that the summer would never end. Excited about going on with my life at the same time.
My has been off on her annual vacation/visit with Grandma and Grandpa for the last month. She goes there every August as a last fling before school starts. I try to use this time to get some things done around the house. I also try to get in a little down time for myself.
I didn't get as much done this year as I wanted to. I never seem to be able to maintain focus during my time off to be able to complete all the projects. I seem to be great at starting things. I have a hard time finishing them though. I am almost done with my pantry (building it from scratch). It just needs the final coat of paint and it is done. Same goes for the new window in the Kitchen. I should be able to finish these two jobs this weekend. Good thing too, my little girl comes home on Monday!
I work too much and don't play enough. I spent too much time this August at my job trying to catch up. Funny thing though, no matter how may hours I put in, the end stays just out of my reach. One thing done, twelve things pop up to take its' place.
I have finished my "back to school" shopping for all her essentials. No new clothes yet. I am going to take her shopping when she gets back home. One or two outfits and some personal time together. I can't wait.
This is the last week of the summer. Next weekend is Labor Day and then it is back to the normal routine. Too much to do, too little time to do it in. I was hoping against all hope that I would meet someone on line this summer that could add a little adult companionship to my life. I was hoping to get a set of plans finalized for my parents new house. I was hoping to get the property rezoned for them.
I guess I set the bar a little too high. I did meet some nice people. They have busy lives also and I have not been able to fit in yet. I did get a rough design approved through the City Design Bureau, and I have an appointment with yet another architect. The zoning has to wait until next month though. Too many hoops to jump through first.
This is the last weekend that I have totally to myself. I get to do anything that my heart desires. The sky is the limit and I have the money to spare. I will end up trying to get the house cleaned up and some of my summer projects done. It is no fun playing all by yourself. Too much like beating off. A lot of action, but your left with a feeling of emptiness when you are done.
The party for this year is definitely coming to a close. To tell the truth, I am ready for it to end. I hope that all of you are too. 
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A Tribute to a friend I never got to know
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Posted:Aug 19, 2006 9:07 pm
Last Updated:May 21, 2024 5:42 am
2855 Views
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I found out tonight from Goddess' Blog that one of our own took her life. I did not know her, yet was still touched by her departure. I wrote this piece for a different time and place, yet it still feels fitting.
LOSS
There is an emptiness within me
A void, a vacuum
A black hole of despair and anguish
In the very place where you once dwelt.
At every waking moment
I seek to fill this cavern
I try to overlook its vastness
And pour "things" into it.
Items, experiences, alcohol, friendships
All these and more I throw into the void
And yet it remains
Ever empty
Draining me of my will to live
How can a single loss be so profound
That it rips the core of your very being
From your still living breast
How can an emptiness be so complete
That every attempt to fill it
Is met with the most abject of failure
I look into myself and see nothing
Just the hollow shell of the person
That I once was
Fragile as an empty egg
Why do I not break?
Or have I...
Good night Sandy, And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!
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A quick change of pace.
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Posted:Aug 19, 2006 9:57 am
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2007 10:54 am
3052 Views
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Ladies and Gentlemen. I think that I am on the verge of an epiphany.
When I was younger, I thought (felt?) that HORNINESS resided in my crotch. Like most age boys, I was a walking talking hard on. I could (and did) get hard watching girls walk down the street. The very thought of a pretty girl sent me into a satyr like fit of carnal abandon. >>!
Now that I am approaching middle age (still hoping to pass the 100 mark before I check out for the last time), I am finding that I can be horny as an old goat WITHOUT getting a "throbbing blue veiner". \8 Don't misunderstand me. I have no problem getting it up. What I am talking about is a mental horniness. 
The physical needs are easy to satisfy. Take the problem in hand and viola! The mental needs are much more difficult to deal with though. They are the things that lead to such frustration. It is the mental desire that cannot be satisfied with a casual fling or a visit from a (or if you prefer). The mental desire needs a give and take that is deeper than mere sex.
I think that most of us at this site are here to try and satisfy this mental longing. We are here reaching out to others looking for validation, companionship, comfort and joy. These are the very things that we use to get from our spouses, neighbors and friends at work. Now, neighbors are a thing of the past. Families have been separated by the job market and easy transportation. Divorce is so commonplace that we don't even try to work out our differences. Free time is almost non-existent (as a matter of choice). 
I am still a walking talking bundle of horniness. The difference is that I am looking for something more satisfying than a quickie. Tell me if you feel the same way. Or am I totally out to lunch?
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One more from the Archives
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Posted:Aug 16, 2006 6:10 pm
Last Updated:Aug 19, 2006 9:26 am
2960 Views
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Poetry
The poetry of my life flows through me
Like a river at the bend
Most of the time it travels its’ well worn course
Not making an outward mark of its’ passage
Yet occasionally overrunning its banks
Making a splash on the page of time
Forcing its’ way out of my head
And onto paper for the world to see
I enjoy these times of turbulent creativity
For what they let me express to the world
Letting my inner self be exposed for all to see
Releasing the pent up emotions of my existence
I also enjoy the times of peaceful flowing
When my muse keeps to herself
In her comfortable niche in my mind
The pain of writing can be terrible
Yet the pain of not writing can be just as bad
I guess that it is the pain of life that I feel
That can not be helped or relieved
Short of death
And I am not ready for that
Not yet.
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To link to this blog (Igottahaveit69) use [blog Igottahaveit69] in your messages.
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I keep noticing something that is really starting to piss me off. How is it that we have all become so brainwashed by the corporate ideal of physical beauty? I go through profiles and find time and again the descriptions sounding like an ad in Cosmo. I think that we are in terrible danger of starting to believe the crap that they are dishing out. Well, I for one will not stand by silently while they attempt this terrible deed! 
That is my reality and I am comfortable with it. 
