Proper Etiquette
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Posted:Sep 11, 2007 8:56 pm
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2008 5:01 am
4044 Views
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Something I have recently come across that I thought might be helpful as far as meeting people, and maybe getting a second meeting. 
First of all show up on time, and if you are not going to be able to meet on time, do try to get a hold of that person/s and let them know, this is just common curteousy.(Things beyond our control do happen at times, most resonable people understand that)
This is especially for single males, not so much single females since we all know that you can pretty much do whatever you want lol. but it might be nice if everyone took this into account when meeting new people.
If after exchanging a few emails, chat or phone calls you do agree to meet someone face to face then I think it is allways very kosher to send an email or offline IM saying how much you appreciate them taking time away from thier busy schedules to have actually met in person.
This solidifies that you really do appreciate that persons time, even if you didn't click it is a nice gesture to do. Now if you really clicked then this is just another way to put yourself back in thier memory bank, I know that this may seem like why is she saying this I do it all of the time.
You might be surprised how many people really don't do this.
Just don't put things in thier court saying contact me if anything fun comes up, by doing that you are giving off the image that you really are not interested, and they most likely will not contact you in the future.
If you really want to meet again then you really need to make that move by sending them a follow up email or leaving them some sort of a follow up message.
Please be aware that the person/s that you met may not feel the same way and may not return your email or message but that is a chance you have to take.
I would hope that most people would respond and say thank you back but some may not, at least you took the first step, if they don't respond it is thier issue not yours.
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okay here goes it is kinda long so make sure you have the time set aside... :)
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Posted:Jun 10, 2007 10:29 am
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2007 11:12 pm
4790 Views
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So you think you want to be a �swinger�
I am not talking swinging from a trapeze or like George of the jungle although sometimes it feels like you keep hitting tree after tree at first .
Things you will need to know, and understand.
First and foremost you need to be open and understanding, and try not to judge others, please realize that not everyone is not in the same place and time that you are in your life.
We are by no means the �expert� but these are a few of the things that we have found to be true thru our own experiences.
In this day and age we are very fortunate to have so many options and avenues in which to seek out this type of a lifestyle, yes it is a lifestyle, yes you will be judged for your life choices by certain people. In saying that I don�t mean to scare you but to make you aware that not everyone is as open to changes as you might be. You need to respect their opinions just as they should respect yours.
If you�re going to be open and not discreet about your lifestyle changes be prepared for others to impose that judgment upon you.
Everyone is looking for something different; some of these things may go against your principles or morals. That is the beauty of being you, everyone is different and that is what makes us all special and unique, making us attractive and desirable to others. However, just because you may be interested in someone else does in no way obligate that person to feel the same way about you and you can�t make them feel differently don�t attempt it. Just move on to someone else that does feel the same way.
Be respectful, kind, considerate of others feelings and boundaries.
On the same token, if someone approaches you and your not interested try to put yourself in their shoes, how would you want someone to tell you they aren�t interested?
If you do happen to find someone that feels the same way, has the same interests or is open to try things those things that you are seeking. Then you need to consider yourself very fortunate and nurture that relationship and really look at what type of relationship it is and not force it into something that it is not.
You may not know what you want; it�s ok to explore these things, or avenues. Just know what you won�t do(set your ground rules and or boundaries), ie; I choose not have unprotected sex. Be aware of your surroundings if you are not comfortable for any reason at all, you should be able to bow out and leave. If you are with someone else, have a code word or phrase, or just be in tune with each others facial expressions and body language. Although it is very easy to get caught up in the moment and you are enjoying yourself, you really need to be aware of the person you came with and vice versa with them. We have found that it can very difficult for all personalities to connect in a couple situation. It is also important in a couple situations especially that all parties involved and okay with everything that is going on don�t feel as if you have to take one for the team so to speak. Two may click together, two may not, and if all four don�t click your chances of everyone having a good time are greatly reduced.
In our experiences if you continue in a situation where all parties do not connect hard feelings or bad experiences have occurred.
Open communication is essential at all times, especially in a relationship with someone else. You need to be able to tell someone that you like this, you don�t like that. You plain and simply are not open to this or that. That is not a place that you are willing to explore at this time, as well as maybe you might be thinking that this or that would really trip my trigger. In other words sorry not my bag baby, or let�s go for it.
Things change and people do change occasionally, those that are not judging and willing to explore other things will have an easier time at first, but by all means move at your own pace that you have set don�t let someone else set that for you. You may find that once you have done something that you have been wanting to try for a long time just may not seem as exciting as it once was and you would like to try something different now.
You will probably go thru bouts of jealousy, anger, excitement, self consciousness, self esteem, issues, a renewed sense of hey maybe I am sexy someone wants me, or thinks I am hot, you may find yourself to be a little more daring. Just don�t get a big head ( the one on top of your shoulders) not everyone will feel this same way about you. Some may even go thru a depression, a feeling of I am not good enough for anyone, and no one wants me. Just to name a few. You will have many highs and lows; this is all a normal part of human nature.
Women go thru a high if you will because there are so many men that desire them, not just single men. Let�s face it, Women are beautiful weather they are 110 or 250 lbs. they have a natural curve to their bodies that just flows, the way their eyes twinkle when you compliment them. Most women love to hear how hot, and beautiful they are, if you are genuine in your compliment.
It really is true that there is someone for everybody or I should say a certain type of person for everybody.
Men have a unique sexiness about them as well, women find it cute when they do little things they might not normally do. I think that a lot of women also like it when a guy doesn�t take themselves that seriously, and can let their hair down so to speak and have a little bit of fun, act crazy, silly. It really is in ones personality for me, but that isn�t necessarily the case with everyone, and you can�t generalize. If you take the time to talk to people in general and just get to know them a bit then it will be easier in the future.
I do have to point out that single men need to just take things a bit slow, you are riding a very fine line between being pushy and aggressive to being passive and un-attentive. You will need to learn to read signs and to be respectful of the women, and the man if in a couple situation.
Don�t try to be someone that your not, be yourself. Whether you are playing by yourself or with a partner, most people can see right thru you if you�re lying, and worst of all when you lie, you have to remember what story you told to what person. This network of people although it seems rather large you would be quite surprised how many people actually knows other people. Why put yourself and others thru the hassle, if someone doesn�t like the real you, and you feel you need to change the real you, then change the real you but don�t lie about it.
Don�t lead people in with false hopes, be true to yourself and to others , don�t put up fake pictures on a profile, don�t tell someone you weigh 110 lbs if you really don�t, do you really think when they meet you they aren�t going to be able to tell? Even if you do wear black all the black in the world cannot hide certain things, be up front before you meet. If the person/s still are wanting or willing to meet then that is great, if not well then it is probably for the better, would you really want to meet someone who may not like you because of the way you look? big, small, skinny, fat. Etc.
When you do meet someone in person, wear something that you are comfy in. Don�t wear a nice suit, tie, �the whole works� unless you can pull it off, and be comfy in it.. the same goes with a woman, don�t wear the whole slinky outfit unless your comfy in as it will show and you will be self conscious the whole evening and instead of really concentrating on if you get along with this person/s you will be worried if something is sticking out where it shouldn�t be. Now, on the other hand if you feel sexy in it then by all means, do it! Don�t be surprised if you get the whole room of heads turning to watch you walk by.
Be sure to go to someplace public for a first meeting, or to a lifestyle party or to a meet and greet with other lifestyle friends that you already trust, in this case you can use them as your excuse or way out of a bad situation. If you decide that you really don�t like this person, or have no commonalities after talking with them for a while, neither one of you is under any obligations, and you shouldn�t feel as if you do have to oblige. You should not force the issue or have the issue forced upon you.
Be aware, that if you are too laid back and don�t show an interest the other person may misconstrue your shyness as you are not interested. It is a very fine line and you will need to watch for body language, is this person sharing eye contact? Do they look bored and uninterested? Also, it is important to note that some people only view others as play toys nothing else, if this is something your okay with then go for it, see it for all its worth, if you are looking for more of a relationship then go into the situation with that in mind, you need to ask yourself, these or similar questions could I have a relationship with this person, what type of relationship, friend, lover? Am I really okay with being used as a toy strictly for fun and pleasure? Do I need contact after the deed is done? Are their ground rules going to work for me? All of this may sound silly, but some people have never really asked themselves what they would do in a situation like that.
Now, this is something that we have trouble with and might be a little controversial; you probably should make your intentions known to the other person your with. The only problem you have with this is you open yourself up to rejection. None of us like rejection, and it is a bitter pill to swallow at times, but it can save you a lot of trouble later if you know there is no possibility of ever doing anything later. But on the other hand if you enjoy the flirting and teasing and are okay with that, and the other person is doing it back then you know the door is always open, just be aware of that situation and see it for what it is. Just have fun with it! Sometimes, this can be even more fun than the actual deed for us anyway.
In our experiences we have found that you do need to open up a little bit, divulge a little bit of information about yourself; it is part of being comfortable with someone else.
You do not and should not divulge personal information in most cases such as your last name, where you work, any type of information that will help someone track you down later.
You should ask and be general about certain things, at least until you get to know these people, and ask general questions in getting to know someone such as what type of work do you do as opposed to where do you work? Do you have or how many do you have? As opposed to what are your �s names? What town do you live in? As opposed to where do you live? Do not put your real name on your email address, put an alias or maybe a profile handle. Don�t give out your home telephone number it can be tracked to your home address, give out a cell number.
If you are calling someone and are unsure there are ways of blocking your telephone number.
Once you have established a relationship with someone and trust them you can then give out this information to them.
This is just some of the areas that we have found to be important.
In closing, we have found the lifestyle to be enjoyable, and have met many people that we consider friends and even very good friends.
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Stalkers
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Posted:May 14, 2007 7:17 pm
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2007 11:07 pm
3753 Views
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I had a recently had a strange outing while in Houston.
I really wish I could have said that it was exciting but I must admit it was a lil scary, now that I look back on the whole thing I am not sure if the guy meant to scare me or just what the man had in mind.
If anyone else has had a simliar exp I would love to hear how you got out of it.
I was in a small lil buisness district mall in downtown Houston when I had just finished my lunch in the food court, I had been a lil startled before that due to a man standing behind me on a cell phone and not moving, when the security guard just stood there keeping an eye on him.. I thought to myself.. I will just finish my lunch and move along.
So, I finished and did as I told myself I would when I approached an opening in a hallway entering the main area, I noticed a fairly nice looking big black man.. I remember thinking oh he is nice looking man. the thing that startled me was when I walked by.. he said.. you have sure have very pretty eyes.. I looked at him while walking away and said thank you...he then proceeded to follow me.. I walked faster so did he.. he then said.. you sure have a beautiful body too.. I then started walking more swiftly and I didnt hear everything the man was saying.. as I was nearing the end of the mall he practically yelled from behind me.. oh some guys have all the luck..I then quickly ducked into the drug store thinking that I can't go back the other way towards the security cuz I dont want to walk past him. but I was thinking I could tell someone in the store that I was being followed.. he then went on his way thank goodness as he was frightening me..
I also was thinking if only my cel phone hadnt died I could at least call hubby and talk to him not sure what I would have said but..
Now, I look back and was thinking did he know that he was scaring me.. or did he just want me to know that he was interested..?
Regardless, I guess my advice to guys is.. if you see a woman you find attractive.. go ahead and compliment her but dont follow her...
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Not a dating /hook up service....
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Posted:Apr 26, 2007 5:39 am
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2007 4:15 pm
3913 Views
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Okay here is my latest ponderment and one that seems to keep on happening so .. what the heck maybe we are not the only ones that this happens to.
I am just curious do we have a big ole neon sign flashing..sucker, loser, sap on our foreheads?
Why do men want to tell me about how hot my friends are? oh your friend ....she is so freaking sexy..what I would like to do to her...Is this supposed to turn me/us on? I don't think so.. to me it seems a lil rude and obnoxious.
You may as well be saying can you hook me up with your friend?
Ok, thats the nice version...I won't go into what it really says to me. What the hell are we chopped liver?
If you want to meet our friends.. meet them the way we did..Please don't attempt to use us as your tool.
We don't email couples, and single females (cuz we dont initiate email with single guys) and say.. oh wow.. we think your friends are so hot, what we would like to do with them... can we meet them instead of you?, or okay we are willing to meet you guys if you can hook us up with your friends.(okay I might be exagerating a lil bit here)
Just because we are nice and laid back and are co hosts of some great parties... does not mean that we are your hook up...
If you want to meet "us"...and yes we do come as a couple, then we are more than happy to take the time to meet friendly, non judgemental people, who like to have fun. and see where it may lead... we love meeting new people, and having fun.. just dont waste our time and yours, if you have other objectives on your mind.
Oh.... and have a great day.. 
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freedom for ?
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Posted:Apr 5, 2007 7:47 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2007 4:16 pm
3704 Views
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Okay, I normally don't like to talk about two things those being religion and politics.
I just felt compeled to say how I felt and not meaning to change anyone's feelings, thank god we all are able to have different opinions, but I read an article last night that disturbed me and was just not sure how to go about voicing that disturbance.
I agree everyone has thier right to thier opinions far be it for me to judge others on thier opinons or what I think they should be.
The article I am refering to was in a local paper about a soldier(I must say I do not know this soldier but my mother knows his mother) that recently lost his life serving his country (America) in Iraq. I am not saying that our troops being there is or isn't the right thing, there is enough people doing that already. The part that disturbed me was that a religious group from Kansas planned to protest at his funeral, and notified the local police that they had planned to do this, because of what they said was gods way of punishing the US for its liberal views on homosexuality.
My point is who deemed them the authority on homosexuality is it really wrong? who made or appointed them god or gods advocates, and able to judge others feelings for another human being wether it be same sex or not? I have known several openly admitingly homosexuals, who are great people. Why should someone be judged by thier sexual preference anyway?
My biggest issue is why can't they let this poor soldier rest in peace? why subject his family to this? Is protesting a funeral really going to solve the worlds issues? The biggest question is it really going to change America's feelings on homosexuality? If they are just trying to get attention do it in another forum.
who funds these trips all over to harrass innocent people?(apparently they travel all over spreading the word)at other soldiers funerals.
Sorry folks but homsexuality is not a new issue this went on in Roman times it was totally acceptable for a man to have sex with a young boy as long as he bought him gifts..don't believe me ? look it up..
I am not saying that it is bad or good it just is, I just think that everyone is entitled to thier own opinons on sex, life, lifestyle, etc. I just think that it is imperative that people should keep it in perspective, this soldier had nothing to do with homosexuality he just served his country and lost his life doing something he believed in was good and a worthy cause.
If you stayed with me to this point, thanks for letting me air my opinion.
If this has compelled you as much as it has me, feel free to air your comments as well.
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shut off profiles, and sending emails whats up?
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Posted:Mar 18, 2007 11:58 am
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2007 11:13 pm
3388 Views
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ok, here is my newest ponderment.
Do people actually realize that if they have thier profiles shut off and they email you and say.. hey heres my pic lets get together.. that hello you can't because thier profile is shut off?..
Now, granted there could be other reasons, they are pending or for some reason Polyamory Date shut off thier profile.
But this is not the first time we have gotten this, is this legit? do these people exist? do they realize they cant be contacted? why have a profile and email people if they cant contact you? no one can look at your profile.
Is this a form of spam on Polyamory Date?
In any case thanks for the pics whoever you are but if you really want someone to contact you or hope that you get any kind of response turn your profile back on..
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Just a note to single guys that want to meet and hook up.
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Posted:Mar 12, 2007 3:29 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2007 8:53 pm
3211 Views
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First of all, I am not turned on by lets meet and fuck..
Come on guys, would you go up to a lady in public and say.. hey I really dig you, think your hot.. etc... lets fuck? I think not.
Just because this happens to be a sex site doesnt mean you cant be a gentleman.
I am not looking to replace my sweet dear husband, yes he does share me with select single guys, ones that I get along with and enjoy thier company. He can be very protective of me which I admire (cuz he doesnt want anything to happen to me) He and I both view others as play toys that we cant buy in the store.. if you want to be one of my playtoys.. then feel free to contact us. but I can be picky, not because I think I am better than anyone else, far from it actually.
If you want to catch my attention.. do something to get noticed .. have you seen how many single guys there are on here? ( I would think this would go with any lady on here)
hint... personalities play a key role here..a sense of humor does too...so don't be afraid to get creative..
So, if your looking for quick wham bam thank ya mam.. your probably better off to look elsewhere.
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Finding time to meet people
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Posted:Mar 12, 2007 3:07 pm
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2007 9:50 am
3205 Views
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How does one find and make time to meet people?
Although, we dont have at home anymore we do things with them still and have friends that we do an occasional fun time with. If your in our biker group we do tend to get together with these people more often, because we have a similar interests I guess.
We are not just about meeting and fucking sorry people but we like to get to know ya and find out if we get along first, we like to know that we can carry on a conversation with ya too.
We do enjoy meeting new people but with hubbies work schedule and doing stuff with and such we dont allways have as much time as we would like.
If you really want to get to know us, and maybe more dont get offended if we dont meet you right away, come to one of our parties, or suggest a group meeting this way no one feels pressured. Hopefully it will be worth the effort. (we have some very good friends that have taken that time and we appreciate thier friendship alot)(you guys know who ya are )
Some may think that we dont play at all, we do we just choose not to advertise who we have played with. it isnt a game to us, it is about haveing a good time, with someone you can trust.
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How do you decide when to meet someone?
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Posted:Feb 27, 2007 3:16 pm
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2007 10:01 am
3151 Views
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Just curious how others go about meeting people, how do you decide if this will be the one or the ones that you think you may click with. Chat, phone, personal IM, email etc.
We personally like to chat with people first, see if we have similiar interests before we waste each others time with meeting and finding out that we have nothing in common..we like to know that at the very least we can have a nice conversation over dinner or drinks.
The problem we have recently run into is with single males, who are determined to meet,so we finally decide to meet for dinner or drinks then they stand us up.
It would seem like no wonder single guys have a bad name for themselves when all it takes is for a few jerks to make it tough on the nice, gentlemanly guys. (I should note that we do know some very nice guys as well)
How do you know? if only people could be honest and up front say how nervous they are, why waste each others time, after all just because we agree to meet does not ever mean it is a requirement that we hook up.
If we say we are going to meet, we meet period.. unless of course pending family emergencies and such but then in that rare instance we call or let that/those persons know before they go to the meeting place if at all possible.
We have had some good luck with people that have come to our parties that we co-host though. The only downfall is we don't get to visit much at our parties.
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Networks
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Posted:Feb 17, 2007 12:10 pm
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2007 8:56 am
3316 Views
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Just thought I would start a lil blog to post my opinions and get others opinons on them as well.
My first question? How do you decide who you put in your network? do you just let anyone in? or do you screen them? and if you do what are your criteria?
I personally feel that although I am very flattered that many want to be in our network, (hopefully to admire my hubbies photography) I will let most people into our network providing they also have pics posted, we have several and don't feel that it is fair to just look at others without posting some of your own.. we are happy to share if you share too. There are a few circumstances though, there are a few on our network that don't have pictures, but we have either gotten to know them either on chat or in person. So, if you have invited us to your network and we have declined it, it is most likely because we have not talked to you and gotten to know you, or you don't have pics.
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To link to this blog (DaBeaches) use [blog DaBeaches] in your messages.
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