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Sometimes it just happens...
Sometimes it just happens... You never believe it will happen to you. Okay, okay. Rephrasing ever so slightly may be in order. I never believed it would happen to me. The slow, imperceptible drift apart, in stages so gradual neither of you notice until that special whatever it was canâÂÂt be recaptured. Is it inevitable, this drift? Was it something we did...or didnâÂÂt do? You reach out for each other, maybe even connecting briefly, but itâÂÂs not quite the same. Which doesnâÂÂt mean itâÂÂs bad. It isnâÂÂt. Maybe itâÂÂs even more durable. Cue that<b> famous </font></b>line from âÂÂSex in the City,â âÂÂhe (or she) is just not that into you.â And you both sense it and after whatever effort both of you are willing to put into it, you donâÂÂt give , so much, as acknowledge what is. ThatâÂÂs what happened to us. Thirteen years in, sheâÂÂs gone one way, I another. WeâÂÂre there for each other, but... Relationship therapists/coaches/thought leaders would inevitably tell us, if we asked, that we gave too soon or didnâÂÂt try hard enough. TheyâÂÂd be wrong, but their point of view, itâÂÂs not hard to understand. ItâÂÂs not in their best interests to tell anyone that youâÂÂd be wasting your time/ trying to start a fire with yesterdayâÂÂs ashes. So...this week, my wife and I agreed to open our marriage. ItâÂÂs not a maiden voyage, for me, though it has been a long time. IâÂÂve been in previous open relationships, LTR and marriage, discovering in both cases that I must have missed the lines for jealousy and monogamy. And weâÂÂre not going our separate ways, really. I will always be there for her, and I know that she will be there for me. ItâÂÂs just that sexual/sensual component is absent. I will not love others as replacements her, but rather as the uniquely beautiful humans they are. I will care for them and share with them as the rare, priceless gifts they are, without apology and holding nothing back. For our time together, I will be theirs and they will be mine, in whatever way and for as long as we choose. I look forward to it. What about you? |
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