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The Teaching of a Friend :)
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The Teaching of a Friend :) About four years ago I went with my hubby on a business trip to the PRC (People's Republic of China), specifically to Shanghai. While we were there we followed the advice of our western style hotel manager to go walking on The Bund on Sunday to meet people that I was curious about. The Bund is the big concrete area that runs along the Huangpu River right beside the city center. The river splits Shanghai as a divider between East and West Shanghai. Our hotel manager told us that Sunday is a social day on The Bund when people go walking to meet friends and socialize, especially the college students who look for westerners to interview and practice their English. So on Sunday we walked the short distance from the hotel to The Bund that was only about three blocks from the hotel. We walked out onto The Bund at midmorning and only walked a short distance when about a dozen students suddenly surrounded us wanting to speak with us. We were surprised at the nearly aggressive approach of the students who were anxious to ask us questions, and we had to actually slow them down in order to speak with them in a sensible way. One at a time they interviewed us, one on my hubby and another talking to me. They actually formed a line so each one of them could have a turn speaking with us. We answered I don't know how many questions about the west, life in America, our home on the island, the effectiveness of American schools, and so many subjects I can't remember them all. Most of the students were college age girls, but a few were boys. At the back of the line that was in front of me I noticed a younger girl standing shyly with an older woman who I assumed was her mother. After talking with the college students for over an hour the younger girl and her mother were still there, and finally the college students all had their turn and only the quiet duo was left. I smiled at them and motioned for them to come forward, and it was the mother who stepped quickly in front of me to bow, and smile, and extend her hand in a western style of introduction. The girl seemed to be very shy and stood behind her mother as the mother began to speak to me in very clipped English. The woman explained to me that it was her high school age that had taught her the little bit of English that she knew, and she apologized because she wasn't fluent… yet. I also apologized to her because I couldn't speak her language at all, and I bowed briefly to her in return. I learned that the woman was a typical, ordinary Shanghai Chinese citizen. We stood there for an hour asking questions of each other, but not being specific because I could tell that neither of us wanted to ask anything that may be offensive. When the woman couldn't think of the words she would speak to her and the would translate her words into English, and I also used the as a translator in the same way. The main thing I learned about the mother was… she was very smart. She was not educated smart, but practical smart. She knew the city well, and local industry, and she was even able to tell my hubby where a certain factory was located across the river. She told me about the Chinese restaurants and which ones would allow you to carry your bird cage into the restaurant and hang them up on hooks close to your table. She advised us of food to try, and how to be sure it was cooked well. She was just full of information and I enjoyed talking with her. As we parted she asked me if I had “Elet Tel Fishnet Male” (her used phonic spelling to help me understand she was asking if I had email). She instructed her to make a note of my email address, and then we said good bye. My hubby and I were all talked out so we walked back to the hotel before we got trapped by more students that were eying us closely although we did regret we were tired and had to go rest for awhile. About a month later at home an email popped in from my new friends, the obviously doing the typing for her mother. I responded to them thanking them for talking to me so freely on The Bund. I am happy to say that after almost four years now the mother types her own emails and has learned a lot more English. She doesn't write perfectly, but she does write on all kinds of subjects, and I have been able to understand she is now sort of the local wise woman in her peer group and has a long email list of friends that she actually publishes things and sends them to friends teaching them things that they can use in their own culture. As I said, she is a really smart lady. Last week end I received something from her that is a very typical subject I suspect in many parts of the world. On the subject she sent she sounded almost like my own mother many years ago as I was growing up. The subject made it quite plain to me that people in other parts of the world, ie, individuals, families, and common groups of people, also have some of the same concerns and problems that are prevalent in America. My Chinese friend is a really good teacher that I also learn from, and respect her highly for the way she does it. She does not talk down to anyone, or shame them, or put guilt on them in a direct way. She teaches by telling stories. I have no doubt that what she sent was something she wrote for her . The little story she wrote and sent to her many email friends follows, and I am very happy to be one of them. She did not name the story, and it is not written perfectly, and I have not changed a single word as she wrote it. I have named it for her from my own perspective of what she speaks of in her story. “The Brats of America” (LO  A young man went to seek an important position at a large printing company. He passed the initial interview and was going to meet the director for the final interview. The director saw his resume, it was excellent. And asked, ' - Have you received a scholarship for school?' The boy replied, " No '. -' It was your father who paid for your studies? ' -' Yes.'- He replied. -' Where does your father work? ' -' My father is a Blacksmith' The Director asked the young to show him his hands. The young man showed a pair of hands soft and perfect. -' Have you ever helped your parents at their job? ' -' Never, my parents always wanted me to study and read more books. Besides, he can do the job better than me. The director said: -' I have got a request: When you go home today, go and wash the hands of your father and then come see me tomorrow morning.' The young felt his chance to get the job was high. When he returned to his house he asked his father if he would allow him to wash their hands. His father felt strange, happy, but with mixed feelings and showed their hands to his . The young washed his hands, little by little. It was the first time that he noticed his father's hands were wrinkled and they had so many scars. Some bruises were so painful that his skin shuddered when he touched them. This was the first time that the young man recognized what it meant for this pair of hands to work every day to be able to pay for his study. The bruises on the hands were the price that he payed for their education, his school activities and his future. After cleaning his father's hands the young man stood in silence and began to tidy and clean up the workshop. That night, father and talked for a long time. The next morning, the young man went to the office of the director. The Director noticed the tears in the eyes of the young when He asked him: -' Can you tell me what you did and what you learned yesterday at your house?' The boy replied: -' I washed my father's hands and when I finished I stayed and cleaned his workshop ' -' Now I know what it is to appreciate and recognize that without my parents , I would not be who I am today . By helping my father I now realize how difficult and hard it is to do something on my own. I have come to appreciate the importance and the value in helping the family. The director said, "This is what I look for in my people. I want to hire someone who can appreciate the help of others , a person who knows the hardship of others to do things, and a person who does not put money as his only goal in life". ' You are hired '. A that has been coddled, Protected and usually given him what he wants, develops a mentality of " I have the right ' and will always put himself first, ignoring the efforts of their parents. If we are this type of protective parent are we really showing love or are we destroying our ? You can give your a big house , good food , computer classes , watch on a big screen TV . But when you're washing the floor or painting a wall , please let him experience that too. After eating have them wash the dishes with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you have no money to hire someone to do this it's because you want to love them the right way . No matter how rich you are, you want them to understand. One day your hair will have gray hair, like the father of this young man. The most important thing is that your learns to appreciate the effort and to experience the difficulties and learn the ability to work with others to get things done. "  |
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Sounds like a good lesson, I was lucky in life and started farming for myself at age 12. Rented farm land, borrowed money to buy equipment, and have been at it every since. Anything worth doing is worth doing right
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Not sure when this country lost respect for their elders and what they work. I come from a very traditional "old country" family. We were taught to always respect those who came before. We did not have to agree with them, just respect them because they had earned it. Unfortunately, I am approaching the age where I can be counted among the elders.  “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde
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Sounds like a good lesson, I was lucky in life and started farming for myself at age 12. Rented farm land, borrowed money to buy equipment, and have been at it every since.  I admire that highly, and I bet your elders did too
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Not sure when this country lost respect for their elders and what they work. I come from a very traditional "old country" family. We were taught to always respect those who came before. We did not have to agree with them, just respect them because they had earned it. Unfortunately, I am approaching the age where I can be counted among the elders.
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Confucius say: No earn, no Lucky Sperm.   Thought U bailed FREAK Finder & were sailing off on the floating petri dish for good?  I bribed the Dole pineapple pilot 4 that cameo TallieAgra. 
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Confucius say: No earn, no Lucky Sperm. Thought U bailed FREAK Finder & were sailing off on the floating petri dish for good? I bribed the Dole pineapple pilot 4 that cameo TallieAgra. I bailed backwards to be a standard member, which means I can't see or respond to messages and chats, etc., but as it turns out I can still mess around in the Blog and in the Groups. Woo hoo Lucky me
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I have no doubt your off spring admire and respect you in the same way your elders respected their elders in your "old country family." As a member of one of the oldest and largest families in all the islands both north and south... I understand your statement. Respecting and honoring Ohana, the family, is one of the strongest principles we have in our island culture. Kudos to you and yours “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde
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I like that lesson people tend to forget that we all need and get help from one another and as such need to show more appreciation and respect 😉 tks for the share I didn't think I'd read something like that in here lol 😆
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