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| Blogs > wickedeasy > wicked and that ain't so easy |
i choose me.
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i choose me. i deleted my drunken blog...felt it was, well, a little too drunken. but the essence of what i was trying to say, i would like to discuss with you all. there are times in all relationships when one or the other partner knows that it's just done. and sometimes, well you let it stagger on for a while because it's easier than saying it's over or you don't really want to have to deal with all the mishegas that goes with ending something. but the reality is already in your heart and the truth is there every time you see them or talk to them. eventually, it's just so HUGE that you can't really ignore it and if you do then you're just being a chickenshit and worse, you're being mean spirited. after all, who wants to be with someone who in their heart of hearts has already left? there are choices to be made in anyone's life and i wonder if sometimes as we get older that we stop making them because we don't seem to think they matter as much. we can sort of sit where we are and go along as we are and do the stuff that we do and really, it's not so bad. but it is....bad i mean. if you hate your job, find another one. you spend at least 40 hours a week doing it. spend 40 hours a week doing something that makes you feel good about yourself and that when you think about getting up and going there, puts a little kick in your step. i love my work. love it. oh sure, some parts suck the hairy bawang, but most of it is good work, has meaning and impact and i know it matters. same thing goes for people. if someone just drains the air out of the room, sucks the joy out of living....well, you can spend some time trying ot make that change, depending on your investment. but in the end, if nothing changes, save yourself. surround yourself with people who can love and laugh and cherish and see the wonder. choose yourself. You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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Very excellent point. I have taken this advice this year as my own personal crusade. I cut out the people who were draining me. Those I couldn't I try to find a way to live or deal with. Its just too short.
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But we-we... If I quit my job, I'd have to live under a bridge--in the freakin' snow. At least, now... I got a wood-burnin' stove. Beside--most of the bridges around here sport a sign, which reads... "No Vacancy".  Well, it may not be ROTFLMFAO funny... but it's true.  Solar...
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I made the same decision you did the other day and decided it is going to be all about me--at least for awhile. I love my work also. It is so important that people believe that their work is meaningful and that they are making a difference. We are more than what we do for a living. If we put the same energy and time into developing ourselves as we do carving out our careers, just think of how many millions of incredible people we'd be meeting! Never ignore those who care for you you will have lost diamonds while you were collecting stones
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Wicked, I'm sure you've seen a couple in a restaurant, where it is OBVIOUS that neither one wants to be there with the other. No talking, no touching, no eye contact, just two people sharing a meal out of force of habit, I suppose. Up till a generation before ours, perhaps she did not have any viable alternative but to continue being stuck, or perhaps he stayed out of a sence of loyalty or vows or ???? I refuse to be that person. When I was maybe 14 or so, I was aware enough to know that my Dad HATED going to work. He did his job, and was very well regarded by his employer, but it was NOT what excited him. He did that job for 42 years, and retired at 60 with four kids all college educated and successfully off on their own lives, and with a nice pension and all the acoutrements of middle class success, but he hated work. I told myself that I was never ever going to find myself in that position. And, I have not! Now I'm 62, and will be working till 66 or beyond but I'll be doing it because mostly I love what I do, and the divorce 8 years ago took a VERY LARGE bite out of MY early retirement dreams. So I guess you can call me fickle, or you can call me confident enough that I won't stick around for a third rate relationship or job or ______. (I prefer the second choice) I know too many people who will biotch and biotch about work-home-spouse-____ and yet they never ever do anything about what ever is their complaint. Some simply know nothing other than complaining, it is their only mode of communication. Others really are miserable in their situation yet won't change. YOU are not one who is going to settle, for anything, I'd presume, Wicked (who Chas expects is not at all Easy)
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Well reasoned, WE! But please tell me .... What in the devil's name is a "hairy bawang"?
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Dang, I don't think I got to the drunken blog before you deleted it  I agree very much with this. In the one long term relationship I was in, yes we did get to that stage where we weren't much of a couple - and I was guilty of just letting things coast along, when I should have been pushing for counseling or for us to split. I think part of my reasoning was that I feared being alone and couldn't imagine that I would find anyone else, if we split up. Well, I think I may have been right about the difficulty of finding someone new. But I discovered that being alone is way better than living with someone who you don't get along with.   
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sometimes we are way to complacent to make the change....sometimes we are too lost so we coast  []   Seduce my mind and my body
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