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Just a rant  

Juggsapoppin39 43F
6 posts
6/7/2020 12:18 pm
Just a rant


So when you set a meet it is 100% nerve wrecking right? I mean you do not know how a person is or how old their picture is on here or if it is even their picture! lol i had some doozys . But you meet and its like hey he is good looking and sweet. You talk hanf=g out and if things happen then they happen that is how i see it. BUT for the love of everything good, if for some reason you do not like click with this person after you slept with them please have the courtesy of letting thst person know "hey i had a great time and but i do not think we are a match " or whatever. Don't leave that person hanging or have that person texting you and just ignoring them. I say this cause i did that and in the end it was a very painful price i was not honest with someone and i ignored him and didn't talk him and it affected him more than i thought. So please if you are not feeling that connection just say so no harm no foul. And if you already slept with this person especially a female please just tell them cause ghosting them makes them feel 100% like shit and you lower their confidence without even realizing it. RANT OVER lol and one more thing hnesty works both ways i know i will from now on be !00% honest with someone i hook with cause it its not clicking or whatever then its not. And keep in mind that first hook is always gonna be awkward as hell, that shit is gonna not go right lol from being nervous not knowing how a person is in bed. Don't write the person off just becaus ethe first time didn't WOW you cause sex only gets better in time you gotta do it a few times before it gets great cause together you can learn and experiment and figute out what really gets you going.

MIKEITALIAN1111 62M  
31 posts
6/7/2020 11:13 pm

You are correct. Lots of things can affect a first meet. Like I told you I try to find out likes and dislikes before meeting. At least it's an icebreaker and maybe even shows you care...at least enough to ask what they like or hate. And you are correct about not answering. One it's just plain rude. Two, I think we all have our insecurities and being ignored is the worst. I hate it in business, I hate it in life, and certainly hate it on Polyamory Date. We still need to hook up you know that right? Lol


azlyn456 65M
260 posts
6/8/2020 6:59 am

Words to live be. Thanks


jtwrigleyville 45M
427 posts
6/8/2020 11:44 am

This is great advice and insight.


Funandsexfornow 54M  
1 post
7/2/2020 9:00 pm

That was a great rant Thank you for saying that. I believe so many of us think this.


discreteSteve62 50M
2169 posts
7/4/2020 12:17 pm

When I was in my early 20s, I met a woman at a singles party. I liked her looks, I liked conversation with her to an extent. We went on several dates without having sex. I liked her to a "nice company for the time being" level, but I didn't see her as a "keeper".

At some point, we ended up in her apartment, and we advanced from kissing to clothed grinding. I hadn't expected to have sex that night, so I didn't have condoms. I asked her about protection.

She didn't know what I meant.

"So you don't get pregnant."

"Oh, I never thought about that."

"Have you ever done this before." I had to clarify that "this" meant sex.

No.

At that point, I was in moral decision territory. Horny-me said, "Go buy condoms and hurry back." Moral-me said, "It would be exploitative for her first sexual experience to be with a guy who thinks of her as 'nice company for the time being'." At that point it looked like she thought of me as the beginning of a potential long-term relationship.

Moral-me won the decision. I chose to tell her that I didn't know where to get condoms that late, and that it was probably time to call it a night.

Where to go from there? Another date where I explain the apparent disparity in our feelings, and ask whether she still wanted to have sex in a "nice company for the time being" relationship, and end things honorably if she didn't? That probably would have been the right thing to do. Unfortunately, I didn't figure that out until long after I just stopped calling her. Shame on me.


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