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You Can't Always Get What You Want
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You Can't Always Get What You Want I got a reality check recently I didn't really want, but that sucker went straight into my mental bank account. I had been chatting with this wonderful lady for over a week, now. The intellectual attraction was undeniable and there was a definite physical attraction on both sides and we're both too old to use cat ear filters so you know that shit was real. However, from the beginning, I was relegated to the dreaded "friend zone". I've been here before, folks, and if anyone can climb out of that deep dark hole, it's yours truly. And, slowly but surely, I made that climb with one witty turn of a phrase after another. Then, as soon as I could see the light of day and my hand was about to take hold of that last and final ledge to pull myself up out and into the 'sexual healing zone' (copyright Marvin Gaye), I made one misstep, one slight calculation was off, and she bent down, grabbed my hand and hurled me right past the friend zone into 'that one guy I used to talk to and was kinda cool' zone. What caused my great fall from grace? Did I zig when I should've zagged? Should I have used a filter on that last selfie I sent? I think about that last one from time to time. Honestly, we knew from the beginning we were not destined to have any sort of relationship beyond a few interesting conversations. Each of us required things the other wasn't willing or able to give. Yet, because we both struggle to find a partner that fulfills us in the ways we need, we latched on to another fulfilling a few needs at that moment. When you're starving and dehydrated, water can take you a lot further; but, eventually, you're gonna need some grub grub in your tum tum. We can't always be food and water for everyone but we can try to find those that nourish us as much as possible and hang on to them. Now, if I can just figure out a way to get the hell out of the desert. |
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I just want to make a couple of comments here. First, I LOVE YOUR BLOGS!! You are very informative and are spot on totally. Second, this blog is great except for... that phrase of 'the friend zone' and how you hate it. I get that guys want more than to just be friends, but put yourself in a woman's shoes for a second. Do you have any idea what it feels like as a female to have men approach you and only care about if they can get laid with you?? I am sure men would love to be seen as a sex object and all, but turn that into how would you like to feel always like a wallet? Seriously, choose something like that and see it that way. You walk up to a woman and the first thing she wants to know is how much money you have and can she have 20 bucks. You giggle and say no and walk on. The next woman you pass, maybe you are at work or something, grocery store perhaps, she goes by you in aisle 3 and stops and asks you how much money do you have and can she have 20 bucks. You look at her funny as she is a total stranger and wonder why would she want to know how much money I have. You turn the corner and the next woman in aisle 4 says the same thing and so on and so one. How many women will you pass in that day? They ALL look at you and ask that sake question. Are you now tired of this BS and quite turned off that all these woman want is your mullah??? THAT is how it is for women, not all of the time, but most of the time because guys do NOT, on a whole, approach women for 'friendship.' You approach us because you want way more than that and most don't even want to continue talking because you hate being in the friend zone. Here are a couple of things to consider. IF you become friends FIRST, seriously ask yourself how many women actually go around just banging every stranger on the first meeting, but if you become friends first you build a base for being more. Women need to LIKE YOU before we have sex with you. All men have dicks, but if you are a dick forget it, but you already know that. Men need a location, women need a reason and as a total stranger we know nothing about we usually, yes usually, do NOT have sex with strangers we know nothing about. Many a great relationship tells you that their opposing partner IS their best friend!! As a woman it is really disgusting to see and hear guys that absolutely refuse to be friends and only want to f*ck us i.e. they don't want to be in the friend zone. It is really shallow. SECOND, and this is the important one, if you are HER friend she is going to take you to meet all of HER friends!!! Now you have just expanded the field. Those women will tell all of their friends what a great guy you are and that you are not a sex jerk just looking to bang everyone. Now your chances have gone up!! Take a close look at how it looks to others when you only approach a person for one reason. You don't want to be a wallet and most women don't want to just be a hole with a pulse.  I also repeat... I LOVE YOUR BLOGS!!
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