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| Blogs > mcwallin85onngm > My Blog |
4yrs and counting
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4yrs and counting not sure what to post but I thought maybe a little of my history. Currently, I haven't been with anyone in the past 4 years. I have been divorced twice, one lasted 9yrs the other 3yrs. The 9yr one messed me up for a long time and I needed to get over it but I never dealt with the issues and buried them. She was violent with slapping, verbally abusive, and a cheat. We had a and I stayed mostly for her. Finally, got divorced but got the shaft, met a new woman and was engaged and<b> pregnant </font></b>before we knew it. We lost the 7mth old and our relationship never recovered from that. Met my second ex who different than the first never spoke her mind and followed according to what I said. This caused a rift because she was unhappy and never voiced it and we grew further and further apart. She eventually started talking to someone else and we ended things amicably. My next gf i was with for 2yrs and got laid off work only to come home early to her doing meth in the garage with my 3yo inside. I went to kick her out and she came at me with a knife. She cut my hand deeply and sliced half my nipple off. Yay for superglue believe it or not... That same week my car caught fire... hrmm go figure why. I'll give one guess. Well, I ended up back at my parents because I couldn't continue and I couldn't let my suffer. I dated one more time and this gal gripped my heart. She was gorgeous and seemed so sweet inside and out. She had been through a lot as well and we could literally lean on each other. Well turned out she was married and decided to go back to her husband. Failure after failure bad after bad and it all hit me at once like a ton of bricks. I couldn't move forward. I found a pissant job and bought a truck eventually. But I knew until I found who I am again id never be right for anyone. It took 3 years of soul searching and I got help. Finally, the weight of the past was lifted and I knew what i had to do. I decided I have to go to college in order to achieve my life's goals. So now finally a point, I feel ready for someone and now it's hard to find them, No one is interested in a guy that's unemployed and a full-time student in college. I don't blame them cause I mean there is plenty of fish there but damn it. I think I deserve a chance. now one year in and the search continues.  |
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You got a lot going on there. Have hope....continue your journey.....someone will come along in time ~~
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