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Pet Grief..Losing a part of your extended family..
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Pet Grief..Losing a part of your extended family.. I am just going to ramble here for a bit and tell you what I have learned through my experiences about losing my pets . I always considered any pet which comes through my door or into my life through any circumstance or in any condition as a part of my household ..I have literally fostered and owned hundreds of pets, cats, dogs , horses and yes even a few pet rats..lol , I never ever turn any animal away, I also make it a point to know who owns what for pets in my area ,that way I know that someone is caring for them .I also lost a lot of pets over the years and I grieved for each and every one ..How can you not? Years ago I worked as a volunteer for the NS_SPCA as a Law Enforcement Officer and believe me I seen it all, abuse , neglect and much worse ..Out in the country you run into a large amount of people who just cast aside a family pet, dump it , shoot it or give it away. Why? because they can and animals are considered property in the eyes of the law, always was , always will be..You outwear a pair of shoes , throw them away, the novelty of a pet wears off , throw it away , property , plain and simple. I also at the same time I was involved with the SPCA I ran a feline rescue with another lady and we never turned any animal away , no matter what ..we always found room for one more , our motto " hey what's one more " lol. Manny's Place ran for 12 years..it ended when my partner had a series of heart attacks.. Thru the time when our rescue was in full swing we also had a group formed for people who had lost pets and were grieving , they had no one to turn to for support because a lot of people didn't believe that grief for a pet was real. We supported 75 people a year and again " what's one more " , that ran way long after the rescue came to a close, and as far as I know still does. Men as well as women and were coming for support.. Another lady took over after I could no longer run it. Grieving for your pet is a very real, and confusing event, a lot of people push it aside and don't come to terms with it..and as an adult if you don't deal with it properly how do you think your feel about it? How can a have closure when adults don't deal with it? One thing I learned about is you should never candy coat anything or lie and hide things from them, always allow them to express their grief in a proper way. Society shields too much from the today , and fails to properly guide them to understanding that there is a real world and they need to see it all, life and death, good and bad , to do and not to do. .what's proper and what's not...little help now beats a lot of confusion later.  |
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2/23/2019 7:08 am |
Pet grief ..how do you see it? It is part of life but how many do grieve?
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2/23/2019 7:19 am |
Pets are a part of the family and it is rough when they go. I have been more upset about my pets than some family.
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2/23/2019 7:21 am |
Pets are a part of the family and it is rough when they go. I have been more upset about my pets than some family.
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2/23/2019 7:23 am |
I had to put my Dog to sleep 2 weeks ago today the hardest thing I ever had to do miss him.
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Often, those who don’t have pets, are insensitive to the sense of loss and grief we go through when we lose ours.
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Have lost or outlived a lot of pets over the years, it never ceases to cause grief on their passing. 
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2/23/2019 7:36 am |
Often, those who don’t have pets, are insensitive to the sense of loss and grief we go through when we lose ours.
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2/23/2019 7:37 am |
Have lost or outlived a lot of pets over the years, it never ceases to cause grief on their passing.
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2/23/2019 9:14 am |
wow you certainly had a rough time and my heart goes out to you..I always had a hard time placing my older cats I never let them go to homes that I wasn't sure of who could have time and money to treat them in their last years...Kodi my cat I just adopted was abandoned in a trailer when his owner died and no one really wanted a 10 yr old cat...hes got a good home but he talks a lot by times I think he must remember where he was but no matter hes got his forever home here ...thanks and keep up the wonderful work ....bravo  hugs
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Kudos to you for having done so much work with animal rescue!  Once upon a time I did what I could to help with guinea pig rescue, and have helped with a few dog rescue relocations. Unfortunately, I have terrible allergies, so my own pets have mostly been small and contained, guinea pigs and hamsters. And fish. I haven't had a cat in my life in a good two decades. I wish there were such a thing as a hypoallergenic cat. My perspective is that I lost my father when I was 7, so grief was always a part of my life experience. It's perhaps made me a little less tolerant to people who go overboard over a pet. To be sure, grieving is expected and should be expressed. But I've seen some people so overboard that I want to slap a little sense back into them, especially when they have children depending on them. Everyone experiences and handles loss differently, and for example when my stepdaughter lost her longtime doggie daughter, I certainly stepped up to help her and didn't for one second judge when she had her cremated and put the ashes in a little shrine. I even printed a photo quality picture of her for the photo-urn that she ended up with. But I've also seen much worse. My line typically is that grieving for the dearly departed is important, but the living still need to come first. And as much as pets are people too, no matter how much you love your pet, the loss of human life is still an order of magnitude more tragic. And children definitely need more support through loss, as they do through everything in life. They don't have an adult's lifetime of experience to know what they're feeling and how to express it. So it's our job to help them learn from and release in a healthy way, so that they don't learn the unhealthy ways to deal with emotions. Which is, sadly, where a lot of parents fall down, lost in their own grief. And when a pet is suffering in chronic pain or terminally ill, to me, putting them out of their misery is the humane thing to do. Prolonging their pain for our benefit is not right. I watched my grandpa suffer for years like that, wasting away and bedridden, and if I could have, I'd have helped him move on. I was there holding his hand when he finally did pass. I'll do the same for any pet. And I hope to every deity out there that if my health ever declines to a point of extreme suffering and for some reason I can't put myself down, that someone else will help me that way. To me, it's the humane thing to do. Life and death are a cycle. We shouldn't fear it. That's my opinion anyway. Maybe I'm a little heartless. I don't know. I like to think I just have the priorities straight. And now I miss having a little hamster around. One day when the construction chaos around home is done, I'll have to get a 10 gallon aquarium for a new little guy or girl. They're so cute. It's a shame that they only live for a few years. They're such bittersweet pets that way. It's been a while since I let myself love one. But I think it's time again. Even an herb as sweet as basil is nothing without its bite. Lord Basil
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2/23/2019 1:44 pm |
Kudos to you for having done so much work with animal rescue! Once upon a time I did what I could to help with guinea pig rescue, and have helped with a few dog rescue relocations. Unfortunately, I have terrible allergies, so my own pets have mostly been small and contained, guinea pigs and hamsters. And fish. I haven't had a cat in my life in a good two decades. I wish there were such a thing as a hypoallergenic cat. My perspective is that I lost my father when I was 7, so grief was always a part of my life experience. It's perhaps made me a little less tolerant to people who go overboard over a pet. To be sure, grieving is expected and should be expressed. But I've seen some people so overboard that I want to slap a little sense back into them, especially when they have children depending on them. Everyone experiences and handles loss differently, and for example when my stepdaughter lost her longtime doggie daughter, I certainly stepped up to help her and didn't for one second judge when she had her cremated and put the ashes in a little shrine. I even printed a photo quality picture of her for the photo-urn that she ended up with. But I've also seen much worse. My line typically is that grieving for the dearly departed is important, but the living still need to come first. And as much as pets are people too, no matter how much you love your pet, the loss of human life is still an order of magnitude more tragic. And children definitely need more support through loss, as they do through everything in life. They don't have an adult's lifetime of experience to know what they're feeling and how to express it. So it's our job to help them learn from and release in a healthy way, so that they don't learn the unhealthy ways to deal with emotions. Which is, sadly, where a lot of parents fall down, lost in their own grief. And when a pet is suffering in chronic pain or terminally ill, to me, putting them out of their misery is the humane thing to do. Prolonging their pain for our benefit is not right. I watched my grandpa suffer for years like that, wasting away and bedridden, and if I could have, I'd have helped him move on. I was there holding his hand when he finally did pass. I'll do the same for any pet. And I hope to every deity out there that if my health ever declines to a point of extreme suffering and for some reason I can't put myself down, that someone else will help me that way. To me, it's the humane thing to do. Life and death are a cycle. We shouldn't fear it. That's my opinion anyway. Maybe I'm a little heartless. I don't know. I like to think I just have the priorities straight. And now I miss having a little hamster around. One day when the construction chaos around home is done, I'll have to get a 10 gallon aquarium for a new little guy or girl. They're so cute. It's a shame that they only live for a few years. They're such bittersweet pets that way. It's been a while since I let myself love one. But I think it's time again. You are right and as our pets get older and begin to have less of a good quality of life there does come a time when we have to make the hard decision..But we also are very lucky to have good vets and euthanasia to end any suffering , look what we do to our seniors when they lose the quality of life , they lay and suffer very undignified, people who pass suddenly are very lucky , my husband died very quickly at work he was dead before he fell in seconds...sorry to go on but if you need any more info or just chat I am handy..thanks ...ttyl
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2/23/2019 1:52 pm |
hey Jack , a lot of people don't because they don't know how unless someone shows them its ok to grieve for you pet ..some don't believe that grieving helps and some don't feel the need... those people run right out and get some other pet to replace the one they lose and don't give themselves enough time to think about it...Wish I had all the answers but there are good people who do things the way I believe it should be..hope yr having a safe weekend ,,ttyl thanks/
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2/23/2019 1:58 pm |
You remind me a lot of my own mother who would stop the car in the middle of the road to rescue a turtle crossing it. I applaud your efforts at animal rescue. A person who is sensitive to pets usually cares about people too. Having been raised around animals and having had dogs and cats as an adult, I can relate to other people's sense of loss.
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2/23/2019 4:33 pm |
You remind me a lot of my own mother who would stop the car in the middle of the road to rescue a turtle crossing it. I applaud your efforts at animal rescue. A person who is sensitive to pets usually cares about people too. Having been raised around animals and having had dogs and cats as an adult, I can relate to other people's sense of loss.
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