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Favorite Jokes #2
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Favorite Jokes #2 Same disclaimer as the first Favorite Jokes post. ----------- THE STAGES OF A WOMAN Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful! Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece & gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past.. Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business. Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada - cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people. After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge. THE STAGES OF A MAN Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by nuts. ---------------------------------------- GOD BLESS AMERICA Two terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt. If you do not mind me saying, " said the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?" I regret I cannot", lamented the first terrorist. "It is permanently stuck in my butt." "I do not understand, " said the other. The first terrorist says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American flag attire with a white<b> beard </font></b>and top hat came boiling out. He said, "I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish." I said, "No shit?" ---------------------------------------- THE THREE BLACK MEN At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willie. The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately white, patriarchal society. 'In fact, ' he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink willie also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.' After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said, 'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?' 'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?' asked the couple. 'Because I'm the guy who painted it, ' he replied. 'In fact, there are no black men depicted at all! They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.' ---------------------------------------- |
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