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Be the friend you would like to have...
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Be the friend you would like to have... This past week has been a lot about looking back and looking ahead; not so much about looking at the present. I am remembering what was going on in my life in 2004. I had not been feeling the best and was having some “female issues” and I decided enough was enough and made an appointment with my Doctor who wanted some tests done to make an accurate diagnosis. He got all the results back and we discuss what was found. Now one of the things I always liked about this Doctor was that he did not beat around the bush at all, he told you flat out, this is the problem. Here are the options, let’s discuss which is best. It was decided that I would have surgery to have four masses removed. I could have the surgery done in one of two cities. I decided to have it done closer to home and was given my options of Doctors there. I knew one of the choices and wanted him to do the surgery. While I was waiting for surgery, you can imagine the thoughts going through my head. Are these masses cancer? Am I going to die? What will happen to my ? I am only 41; I really would love to see my grow up. My mind is in an endless cycle of “this can’t be happening to me”!! At this time Tim McGraw released a single, “Live Like You Were Dyin’”, this song became my mantra: He said I was in my early forties With a lot of life before me And a moment came that stopped me on a dime I spent most of the next days Looking at the x-rays Talkin' 'bout the options And talkin' 'bout sweet time I asked him When it sank in That this might really be the real end How's it hit you When you get that kind of news? Man, what'd you do? He said I went skydivin’ I went Rocky Mountain climbin’ I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu And I loved deeper And I spoke sweeter And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin’ And he said Someday I hope you get the chance To live like you were dyin’ He said I was finally the husband That most of the time I wasn't And I became a friend a friend would like to have And all of a sudden going fishin' Wasn't such an imposition And I went three times that year I lost my dad I finally read the Good Book, and I Took a good, long, hard look At what I'd do if I could do it all again And then I went skydivin’ I went Rocky Mountain climbin’ I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu And I loved deeper And I spoke sweeter And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin’ And he said Someday I hope you get the chance To live like you were dyin’ Like tomorrow was a gift And you've got eternity To think about What you'd do with it What could you do with it What did I do with it? What would I do with it? Skydivin’ I went Rocky Mountain climbin’ I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu And I loved deeper And I spoke sweeter And I watched an eagle as it was flyin’ And he said Someday I hope you get the chance To live like you were dyin’ To live like you were dyin’ Now you ask, why am I thinking of events which happened twelve years ago? Well the reason is I have been doing a lot of reflecting on life this past couple of weeks. The reason, I lost a dear old friend a couple of weeks ago. As sad as that was he would not want us to grieve his passing, but celebrate life, the one in front of us. His life was one full of laughter and a helping hand to anyone in need. The last I had spoken with him was on the phone and he struggled to finish a sentence. COPD is not an easy death, yet even in his final days he had that mischievous grin; that spark in his eyes. You had to love this guy with the purest of hearts and the gentlest of souls. He would help out anyone in need and when the favor was returned when he was unable to do simple tasks he could not understand why people would be so kind. He passed from this life knowing he was loved very much for who he was. He was remembered for his laughter, his jokes, and most of all his unselfish kindness for others. While I was home I spoke to another friend who I hadn’t seen since last year; (life just gets busy sometimes and we forget to stop and take the time to embrace those amazing people who without, life just isn’t the same). This guy is a year older than I am and is just getting on his feet from a nasty divorce. We have been friends since high school and no matter how much time passed between visits it was like picking up where we left off. We catch up with each other every couple months. So when he picks up the phone, I notice from his voice he is not his usual jolly self and I sense something is not right. So me being me, I ask “who shit in your corn flakes this morning?” Silence, I am not used to that from this guy, he usually has some smart ass come back. “Hello, did I lose you? Did this damn phone drop the call?” I hear breathing, nope he is still there. Ok now I know something is really wrong. So I tell him “out with it, you have never held anything back from me before. Don’t start now.” All I hear is, “cancer”, “it has spread”, and “more tests results”. OMF, I am floored. Now I am the one silent. He continues to tell me that he is waiting for more test results to find out how much the cancer has spread. I want to cry, yet I feel I have to be strong for him and I quickly catch up, I only hope he has not noticed the falter. We discuss life for a bit, he already has a lot of things figured out if things do not go well. We promise to talk after he gets the results back. Thursday morning I get a call, from a mutual friend. He got the results back and it is not good. I tell her I suspected this since he has not called to tell me. I continue to explain that I also understand that he needs this time to process it all. He and I had a chat on the weekend. The prognosis is not good, the likelihood of him surviving is very slim, yet he will fight and he will have an army of friends who adore him for the person he is, who will not allow him to fight this battle alone. All this got me to remembering how I felt when I had those masses and how scared I was. How nervous I was to hear that the results were back and the Doctor would like to see me. How I had prepared myself for the worst, and got the best. Mine was not cancer. I had thought my life was going to end, yet I had another chance. I wonder sometimes why life has to be so unfair. However I know that sometimes it seems to be. It is what we learn from each step that is important. For me, it is cherishing the good and fun moments, live each day to its fullest. Enjoy the journey. Those who are with you during the dark times are the ones who deserve to be there to enjoy the good times. Be the friend you would like to have. . |
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Best of luck to your friend. It is the darkest of times when your true friends shine through and the rest sadly fade into the background. Drop in and visit my blog sometime, but you'll probably regret it 
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Sometimes there just doesn't seem there is no rhyme or reason for why some people can go through life having everything being a struggle....our thoughts and prayers to you and your friend....
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