Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > damngina39 > My Blog |
Dysphoria, gender and others
|
Dysphoria, gender and others Gender Dysphoria is a topic I see from time to time and its highly damaging to the individual, there is a ton of counter bullshit argued as well, so here is my thoughts on the matter. The problem with dysphoria of any kind is that you have a goal that can never be achieved, it is a utopia-like state of dreams because it is a red herring of a totally different issue. Take someone who is overweight and sees themselves as disgustingly fat or at the very least not their ideal, even when they lose all the weight and look great it fixes nothing because it is overwhelmingly external in its origin. That isnt to say that you arent internally struggling with what you want to see and want to be with what you currently are. It is however that when you are comparing yourself to an ideal and it is those ideals that are highly swayed by societal standards that someone besides you define as the holy grail. If it were really the problem that could be fixed with just losing weight you wouldnt have the<b> mountains </font></b>of disorders like anorexia, bulimia, binge eating,etc. The reason that all these disorders exist is because the goal isnt the issue, its your minds eye of what you desire to see can never be achieved and the only antidote is telling your mind a better lie. Instead of saying you will never be good enough tell yourself you are already there and content and then anything else as far as improvement is icing on the cake. Now I am sure someone will read this and jump on my for comparing one disorder to theirs but just think about it a bit. I have had people I know who cut themselves, purged, and then achieved losing the weight and rocking a bikini like no ones business. It did not help because even skinny people had body image issues. This is not their fault, it is the whole of society that is and pointing out that the sickness is not you but an externally pushed ideal that can change on a whim that you can never win. For example, big asses are in season, so people disfigure their bodies to look like bugs life characters. It is a choice I would never stand in the way of but does get extreme. Women remove ribs to get more hour glass figures and by the time they achieve that goal the fad will change. If you know in your heart of hearts that by getting to that goal you will have fixed your bad self image that could have led to your death I applaud you but I am just saying once you get there it may not be the club soda fix all you thought it would. People bring up suicide rates in pre and post op transitions as it points to a bad decision and one of regret but we know that isnt true. We know that if you can pass you are ten times more likely to not attempt suicide just like we know gay men suicide rates changed ten fold as well when society stopped condemning them as a mental illness in a major way. The reason that it is easy for someone to not want to die when they pass isnt because they achieved their ideal. It is that society is fooled in a sense to treating you equally, thats right, someone tricked you into treating them like a human being and you all fell for it! So what does that mean? It means if every asshole didnt shit on a trans person throughout their day, if structures of conformity where not trying to push us out of existence, we would be less inclined to feel like shit. Think about that for a bit and then tell me it is vanity that is the answer and not just a better lie you could tell yourself. You could and should do what you want, transition or dont, but wherever you're at right now is positive and it should be enough to hang your hat on for the moment. I am a good person right now, I will continue to work on improving to be a better person but that doesnt mean since I havent made it to perfect that I should hate myself in the interim. The reason I wont transition is because I know that society and structures will make it difficult for me to live comfortably. It has nothing to do with coming out, it has nothing to do with friends or family acceptance. I have great progressive family and friends because I am not a hypocrite and hate bigots. But if i did transition I would lose my job and have a hard time making the same amount of money friends and family rely on from me to have. Now if I won the lottery or if something more even less plausible like trans people were excepted by society, I would have done it long ago. So I know that the decision to transition now is a hard one for people to choose. I am just saying it isnt the way you look that is the issue, it is the way the current society looks at you that is the real issue, one that could never be solved by an ideal pushed on you from magazines and advertisements who already tell you black people are unattractive compared to white skinned people. We should just own who we are and walk around like we have our own theme songs and thinking that everyone thinks im hot. Its a better lie than telling yourself you arent good enough and confidence has a way of actually proving that if you think you are the cats pajamas, everyone else will too.  |
|||
|
LisaLipgloss, I am aware of the dangers of this argument that trans people are trying to trick people and how it is used in the court of law to get away with the murder of trans people. It is one of the main reasons I say non-passable to everyone and why I dont entertain first timers because people and their fragile egos tie sexuality to their identity. One thing that always makes me cringe is when someone tells me they are "straight" like that is something to be proud of, I get in some cases they just mean they like to top but the term still doesnt sit right. Trans-elitism or people with their ideas of what trans means to them is a grab bag of dumb shit. If I dont have tits im not A , if I am not transitioning or on hormones or living each day as a woman than that somehow invalidates me being trans even though I am trans. I have always felt different even before puberty so I am a sexual person but also trans. I dont transition because if I dont pass the current structure will eat me alive. I wont remain employed at my current salary and I dont want to deal with the constant shitting on by the culture. I was who I always was and whatever led me to be what I am, I didnt need an identifier, I didnt know what to call myself because I had no point of reference to even begin with but if tomorrow if we all had a meeting about what I wanted from society I wouldnt be asking for a pro-noun or the right to be lumped in with genetic women. I think that argument on both ends is folly but only one side has good intentions in the argument, I just dont care what you call me, just at the end of the day I get basic human decency and protection from discrimination. When I said tricking people into treating a trans person as a human being I am making a point on how people that can pass have a better experience because the problem isnt being trans but how conformity and structure wants us all to be cookie cut and it tries to kill off the anomalies or variations of minorities. Meaning society will always fight back violently to secure the status quo because it wants simple. It doesnt want to have to make a cake with two grooms or add another check box on a marriage license because it wants us all to be the same and therefor the marginalized will always have a fight until the culture turns to accepting of that variation. Take gay marriage for example, we went from demonizing a kid for contracting HIV through a blood transfusion to most of America watching Modern family these days. That shift meant the world for the gay and lesbian fight for representation and from that acceptance gay children are less likely to hurt themselves, 10 x less likely to be exact. So what changed? Obviously the people are still gay as before, it is now society doesnt try to stomp out people for being gay in a large way anymore and therefor the mental state of gay people has improved. My point about the original post is the say if you are having any form of dysphoria, it is most likely not your cross to bear and I dont know of many people that are unscathed by the constant programming of the ideal. All I am saying is be happy where you are, it is good to want to improve to a goal of what you want to be, just make sure you are doing it for you and not to please someone else. Also make sure you are happy where you are currently at and dont think you need to get to your goal 100% before you can be happy, be happy now and by all means continue to improve for you and be happy then as well.
| ||
|
Very interesting food for thought... And a sexy pic so im good all around
| ||
|
You are gorgeous!!!
|
Become a member to create a blog
