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| Blogs > rm_LexyandRic > Couple Up |
Shades of Grey
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Shades of Grey We are fairly new to the Swinger Lifestyle, less than a year, and I can say it has been an interesting, if not somewhat frustrating, experience. Don't get me wrong we have have some great times so far but they have been peppered with some 'meh' times as well. Recently we were invited to have a few drinks with some friends we had recently met, it was a spur of the moment invite but as we lived near by it did not require any prior planning. We had met this other couple at a party and got on really well on a social level although there was not really the physical attraction there from our side.So we went along thinking "this will be nice, a few drinks with some others in the lifestyle." The evening was going well and then the the girls started making out - now I dont have a problem with this, really what guy would right? Then I was asked if I would like to join in... In the past I would have probably said yes out of politeness, which was something I had actually been thinking about during that week and had come to the conclusion that I had not been true to myself in those situations. So I said no. It was a bit awkward to be honest and as I had been drinking a reasonable amount then decided I needed to explain why I said no. This probably made things more awkward. You know the lines..."your nice but I'm not really attracted to you..." etc. Now I was fine for the girls to keep making out and was asked several times if it was OK, which I said it was but this is where I think things got a little grey. We have in the past only played together, this may change in the future but that's how it is at the moment. So now how does it work if the girls are playing but the guys not? I guess we could do the soft swap thing where only the girls play together and guys watch or we at some point play with our own partners all together, I don't know. But how do you tell someone "yeah the girls can play but we are not gonna swap" without offending one or both of them? If you're thinking "dude your over thinking this" you're probably right, but it was late and we were drunk. As it turns out we had a phone call and had to leave so the situation became moot anyway, but it did bring up some questions and realizations for us as a couple. Before arriving we should have decided on what we would say if we were asked to play. As we are currently only playing as a couple then if both are not keen then no playing - this was an important realization. If there is any doubt about where the other couple are at the be up front from the get go. At the end of the night we left on good terms with this couple and were invited the next day to join them at a local event - which we declined due to hangovers  so I think things are cool with them. Which we want as they are lots of fun to hang with.Finally the thing we appreciate most about this lifestyle is how much we have learnt to communicate with each other in an open and honest way, now we just need to get better and communicating with new friends! |
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That's great!! Good post!!
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