Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > matt-battler > Captain Caveman finally speaks |
Private Investigations
|
Private Investigations Spies, espionage, private investigators, top level security teams, special forces - we all love them and after yesterday's security triumph in Leeds where ISIS tried to breach David Cameron's security cordon with a so-called jogger without success we love them and obsess about them even more. Those men in suits with no PC number markings on their shoulders are really slick, we romanticise them at every opportunity and rightly so. If you're online for a while you'll come across some keen amateur private investigators that give MI5 a run for their money. What makes for a good online snooper? There are a healthy number of fruitloops and nutjobs signed up to dating websites like these and some of them have the time, energy and autistic tendencies to enable them to check up on EVERYTHING that you're doing. I know someone who on the face of it is a great catch for guys - she's a<b> busty </font></b>brunette who's looking for a FWB relationship, she doesn't demand exclusivity and it could last as long as you want it to. Sounds perfect right? Unfortunately as with most things if something sounds too good to be true, it is. My<b> busty </font></b>brunette friend also happens to be rather neurotic and a champion control freak. So she doesn't mind you sleeping with others . . . but you have to tell her about it. She HAS to know because it feeds her control impulse, she loves approving or rather disapproving of your choices so she can effectively grant you permission. What happens if you don't tell her? Woe betide you because she'll find out. How does she find out if you're looking behind her back? She's set up a network of aliases, other females, couples and even males. The females are portrayed to be deliberately mediocre, common and slutty - no pics, bad spelling and all too willing to do all the things my friend won't do - anal, DP, gangbangs, rimming etc Her aliases receive mail and lurk in chatrooms, monitoring her prospective future mates. Seeing what kind of company they keep, what they say when she's officially not around and what depths they'll sink to in terms of other women they'll contact. Online snooping has sadly become a new norm, and unprompted by anything a few women have pre-emptively explained to me that often they appear online all day long because a tablet/smartphone logs them in automatically - like I care if you're here all day long or you're talking to loads of other guys! If I really like someone their online activity doesn't matter to me, all that matters is if we're getting on well and if there is progress . . . or a lack of it. If I lived in North Korea, the prospect of malnutrition would keep me awake at night, if I lived in Laos being blown up by an unexploded US clusterbomb would bother me, if I lived in Sierra Leone the likelihood of contracting Ebola would gnaw away at my soul - but I'm not, I'm in the UK, I'm comfortable, I'm not going to drop dead in the next few days, I've got nothing serious to worry about and I don't need to use tactics out of the CIA handbook to get the right result on here.  |
|||
|
I think it's pretty obvious your friend actually does mind her lovers sleeping with other people. It's just dressed up as something else. Much of the snooping done on social media is, IMO, encouraged by many of the sites themselves. This one, for example, is a stalker's dream! Hotlisted me? Cool. Now you'll be able to see when I log onto the site, when I upload a pic, update my status. Even if I block you after I've seen that you've hotlisted me? Oops, too late. A F F don't mind that you can stalk me and comment on the aforementioned. I know we can't stop the likes of your friend having aliases, I'm fine with that, knock yourself out. But creeps shouldn't be given free rein to satisfy their need to pester and stalk people. "I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."
| ||
|
The more I thought about it, the more I noticed my friend had control-freakery tendencies that mean she is ill-suited to the no-strings/no drama approach that people want from a FWB relationship, rather than a conventional romantic one. If you agree it's non-exclusive you have to give people freedom and let people make their own choices. You may or may not know that the pic I used is junior PI Butters snooping on his dad, at the behest of his mum who wants to find out what he's buying her for her birthday. Unfortunately he follows his dad into an all-male bath house, and the Stotch household gets more than it bargained for. It's very true that this snooping happens across all forms of social media - the ability to communicate far beyond your normal circle friends and family doesn't really mean you simply get to project witty, memorable and entertaining messages to more people. It just means more people can check up on people they barely know and obsess over the inconsequential, you're not a real person to them, you're a cyber entity that uploads status updates that help them pass the time. A few years ago I thought that having an online presence was actually allowing some very vulnerable and excluded members of society a voice they didn't have before. One of my friends on Myspace had a local tramp in his network. This guy was actually really popular with the local teenagers because he was friendly and polite (and they admired his capacity for heavy drinking) - they added him in their droves and sent him jokey messages like 'Hey Kev I said hello to you the other day but you were too busy throwing up on a pigeon'. I had visions of him logging on in the library to check his messages and commune with his cyberpals - how this must have given him a newfound sense of wellbeing . . . . . . Then I was told it was a spoof account and the jokey messages kept on coming after he died of liver failure  - I guess this is what digital natives think is cool.
|
Become a member to create a blog
