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Joy, Grief and Libido
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Joy, Grief and Libido I just stumbled across an interesting article regarding weird things that turn us on. One thing they mentioned was grief. Happiness was also a cause of sexual arousal, but grief was what fascinated me.  The phenomenon was seen and studied in the wake of 911. 12 NY firefighters faced divorce because they had fallen in love with the widows of comrades. They were assigned to bring comfort to the widows by acting as a surrogate family member. One thing lead to another, and comforting, became >>! comforting. If you have even seen the movie “Someone to watch over me”; art imitating life. The end of WWII saw the same thing… elation, leading to hugging, leading to kissing, leading to… Now that I thing about it, even I have had a deeply emotional experience turn into some sexcapades, with a little delay… In University, I developed a close friendship with a girl, we will call her “C”. C and I became dinner mates and party<b> buddies. </font></b>We ended up spending so much time together, everyone thought we were dating. We talked about getting tee-shirts made proclaiming that we were not dating, because it was cramping both of our games. Anyway, C had a friend; we will call her “N”. N was unsure why C would want to spend so much time with me, and was curious… I was on a bad boy list (guilt by association), because of something a former boyfriend of C had done, and I was friendly with him; (the incident happened 2 years prior, and I wasn’t even in school at the time, and it’s an even longer story of juvenile 19 and 20 year old male exploits). Soon are little 2-some of dinner, followed by conversation enhancers followed by a frank discussion of worldly and not so worldly issues, became a 3-some, with the occasional guest participant. If you did your post-secondary education away from home, and lived in an on-campus residence, you know the drill. One snowy Friday evening in late January, C had departed earlier in the day to go on a weekend ski trip with the latest man in her life, leaving N and I as a 2-some to carry on solving the world’s problems. Along the way of cultivating our 3-way friendship, I had developed really strong feeling towards N, I told her, and she freindzoned me.  It had happened a few days earlier, so being just the two of us was a little awkward… Oh, and did I mention we use to conduct our summit meeting is N’s dorm room? A few hours into our evening, N gets a phone call from home. Someone elderly (92) she is close to has taken ill. It’s snowing like crazy, she is in no condition to drive… she will have to go home in the morning. I am trying to comfort her, using words, (minds out of the gutter). Then it happens, she says she doesn’t want to be alone tonight…  our usual game plan was to go out together or go our separate ways when the summit broke up for the evening. Spending the night… that could lead to, well… happym; happyf; You can look at what I did as utter stupidity or brilliance (the jury is still out on that), and of course trying to be gentlemanly, I agreed to spend the night, but I would sleep in C’s room down the hall when it was time to retire. Oh, I definitely wanted to know every inch of N in a very carnal way, but for it to have happened that night, given the circumstance kind of creeped me out, and I think my decision worked out well.A week later, N was at a formal and I was doing a little late night DJ thing on campus. 2:30 in the morning, the place is nearly empty and in strolls N, dressed to the 9s, looking spectacular and happy (you know the 12 drink glow). When I saw her I knew why she was there… she said the formal was fantastic, she had a great time with her date, but she couldn’t stop thinking about me all night, and wished I was there. That night was our first time together. We dated for about a year and a half; still friends to this day, even attended each other’s weddings. The medical community has offered an explanation as to why events like what I have described and personally experienced happens. The brain cells for general emotional arousal (grief or happiness) are parked right next to those of sexual arousal. To quote the article: “given a sufficient degree of “startle factor” in the reticular activating system, you will automatically find yourself turned on by any dramatic general alert”. Get trapped in an elevator with someone, and it could be on! That has “allegedly” happened between two people I use to work with. But that’s a different story for another day. Has it ever happened to you? Have you been sexually aroused when grief stricken or completely elated? Find pleasure in giving pleasure |
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Grief is a strange emotion. When my parents died, I wasn't prepared for the roller-coaster of emotions. On clearing up their home, I asked a long-standing female friend to help and one thing led to another! We're still friends but there are no benefits now!  
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a moment of Joy is a sure to take the sting out of grief. Find pleasure in giving pleasure
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Grief is a strange emotion. When my parents died, I wasn't prepared for the roller-coaster of emotions. On clearing up their home, I asked a long-standing female friend to help and one thing led to another! We're still friends but there are no benefits now! Find pleasure in giving pleasure
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Find pleasure in giving pleasure
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I normally go silent! hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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I normally go silent! hugs V  Just like PalFind pleasure in giving pleasure
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In times of great joy I like to be with my friends. In times of great sorrow I prefer to be alone for a day or two. Neither joy or sorrow ever aroused me sexually. Visit my blog It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World of NaughtyInSO, leave a comment, become a watcher. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LIVE AND LET LIVE Be happy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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In times of great joy I like to be with my friends. In times of great sorrow I prefer to be alone for a day or two. Neither joy or sorrow ever aroused me sexually. Find pleasure in giving pleasure
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