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| Blogs > imintothat69 > An Observer's Notes |
What did I say wrong?
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What did I say wrong? This blogticle was inspired by 1AtomicKiss and in a deliberate and blatant attempt to lure him back into blogging again. I've included this link, [blog 1AtomicKiss], for those who haven’t yet experienced the pleasure of his rich and diverse sense of humor. Men: Do you have trouble making that connection on Polyamory Date? Do the words elude you while gazing at all those keys on the keyboard, not even in alphabetical order, attempting to compose the perfect email and garner the attention you so richly deserve? If so, then listen up – Do I have a product for you. Introducing “de Bergerac” made by ONS Inc. After answering a few basic questions consisting of your sexual orientation, sexual likes/dislikes and uploading a picture, this amazing piece of software will “read” the targets profile and compose an email guaranteed* to receive a response. It’s based on the same algorithms used by professional Human Resource (HR) departments everywhere to select the ‘right’ candidate for employment. While scanning the targets profile, it selects certain keywords and uses them in the formulation of the “personal” email. Using patented technology, it organizes these keywords into the Cognitive, Psychomotor and Affective domains enabling selection of ‘the words’ to show strength, intelligence, wisdom, humility and humor in the proper amounts. The result is a most irresistible charismatic email demonstrating your • Knowledge of the subject (i.e. the woman you’re trying to ‘hook up’ with) • Comprehension of the subject (i.e. read her profile and acknowledge her desires and limits) • Application of the subject - (i.e. “Personalize” the woman you’re trying to “hook up” with). But Wait – there’s more! It also sprinkles appropriate emoticons throughout the email hinting at your spontaneity and fluidity with a keyboard (i.e. “nimble fingers”). For just a few dollars more you can order the “de Bergerac deluxe”. No package would be complete without the Enhancement function. Use the “Enhance Tool” button to automatically retouch your photo to align with the golden ratio believing this proportion to be the most aesthetically pleasing. (Certain aspects of this function may be manually adjusted.) And as if that were not enough, it sends the email for you too! “de Bergerac” eliminates the need for spell check, review of grammar or content. Yes, you too no longer need know the difference between a proper pronoun and an adjective or worry about subject-verb agreement to successfully communicate with the object of your affection. Singular or plural possessive nouns – no problem! To, too or two confusion – GONE! “de Bergerac” takes all the guesswork out of composing the perfect email to elicit a response. Not ready to purchase yet? Just read the testimonials below. “……Thanks ONS Inc. for the “de Bergerac”, I haven’t see this much action since college” – Sam in California “…….the de Bergerac worked like a charm, got a response every time. Great product ONS Inc!!” – Frank in Ohio “…..Unbelievable piece of software ONS Inc.; more intuitive than my therapist.“ – Robert in New York “…….I love this product! In fact, I’m using it now to write this letter of gratitude.  Whatever you’re doing ONS Inc., keep it up!!” – Doug in TexasHURRY AND ORDER TODAY BEFORE THEY”RE ALL GONE!! *Guarantee only valid for unadulterated introduction email and ONS Inc. is not legally liable for the results of using this product. Here's hoping your basket is empty Basket Theory and your algebra skills are improving Algebra is Like Sex  |
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Hehe! It has to beat "wannafuck" any day...  From Alicia With Love XX Come and join me in Wonderland... Talk to me... Play with me... lead me astray.... [blog AliciaBlonde]
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Oh GAWD no! The grammar is the only way I have of distinguishing which email to respond to!
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OMG! My email inbox is bursting at the seams, having put my "de Bergerac" on the seek out and seduce setting. It's started up thirty five parallel entice-platinum conversations. I'm being actively stalked by six hot totties and my supply of body fluids has dried up completely. Do you have a helpline?
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Excellent! He has a wonderful blog too! hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Dear ONS inc. Reference de Bergerac Congratulations on the development of your system. Applying 21st century adverting,promotion and education to the Mating Game is a major breakthrough the de Bergerac brings Humanity into the era of most recent technology and should allow uninhibited breeding and promote coitus to a new exciting level.
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Dear ontarget, Thank you - uninhibited breeding and new levels of coitus is what we were striving for. Sincerely ONS - owner/operator/developer - imintothat69 Here's hoping your basket is empty Basket Theory and your algebra skills are improving Algebra is Like Sex
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Between you and me, (Imin looks up and down the hallway of the blogland building ensuring no one else is there and whispers, but only to get close and catch lil_whimsical's scent 
) 
ONS Inc. is currently working on an application detecting anyone using this type of subterfuge. 
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