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Missed Opportunities
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Missed Opportunities Here I am once again with dry hands and an empty bottle of lotion  so I thought I’d regale the readers of this blog with another ‘what should have been’ a sordid tale from my past. Ordinarily speaking, I’m a fairly observant guy. When I walk into a room, within a minute or two, I can tell you the decor, tile/carpet colors or patterns and how many ceiling tiles, what the personnel is wearing, whether the air filters have been changed….. etc.; I notice things. I don’t classify myself as OCD, although if truth be told, I do share some of the same symptoms. For example, my desk appears quite messy with papers and journals stacked to the ceiling, bits and pieces of electronic parts strewn all over and of course the obligatory office supplies such as staplers, post it notes, desk calendar….etc. Some of my colleagues know I have this peculiar ability to know when something has been moved on my desk and will take advantage of my absence to move items about – not gross movements but subtle ones, like moving the orientation of the stapler 1-2 degrees to see if I’ll notice which I invariably do but have quit mentioning in the hope it will stop. I consider myself an astute observer (hence the blog title) of things and human behavior. When I see two people talking I can usually tell if they are lovers, flirting or just friends. I’m certain most everyone is adept at this but the problem sitting squarely in my basket is I can’t tell when it’s happening to me. The first time I became aware of this deficiency was at the tender age of fifteen (15). A friend of my sister’s came over and while I was learning to play guitar when she asked me if I would teach her. I said yes and proceeded to instruct her in the art of playing guitar which was the only lesson I ever gave her. Three (3) months later she was over again but this time I had a friend of mine (a girl) with me. We were all in the same room when my friend asked if I would teach her to play guitar when my sister’s friend declared “that won’t work with him, he’ll just teach you to play the guitar” BAM! it hit me right between the eyes – so that’s why she never asked for another lesson. The second time I became aware of another missed opportunity was just a couple of years later during my first week of college. An extremely attractive young lady came over to the table where I was eating, obviously a new student as well, and asked me if I wanted to go bicycling with her. I stated I did not bring my bicycle with me but thanked her for asking. I assumed she just wanted someone to bicycle with her – never occurred to me it was me she was interested in, not the bicycling. (DOLT!!) Yes, I was and still am that lame in this respect. Note: We eventually did get together later (and it was wonderful) but not until her interest in me was pointed out by my friends. During breaks, she would walk past us with a cold can of soda set firmly between her ample bosoms and look directly at me – I was and remain clueless. Another time I was shopping with a roommate and during checkout I struck up a conversation with the woman at the checkout counter. Harmless conversation designed to pleasantly whittle away the time while she totaled up the items. She was coming to the end of her shift and said she wasn't sure what she was going to be doing later. I just asked out of courtesy not because I was angling for a date, just routine conversation or so I thought until we left. That’s when my roommate says “I thought you were getting ready to ask her out especially after the way you and her were flirting.” WHAT?! Are you kidding me – that wasn't flirting, just harmless conversation. Perhaps the most telling tale of my admitted deficiency is the time a co-worker came over to my apartment, unannounced, where I and a couple friends were playing a game. It was around 11:30 on a Friday night and she came over with two (2) dozen raw oysters. Now I was aware of the purported effects of oysters on the libido but I didn't put together that’s why she brought them. I, being the gentlemen I am, invited her in for drinks and to join the game. I look back now and realize I should have chased my buddies out the apartment but I wasn't able to put it together at the time  You would think after a lifetime of having this happen to me I would learn to recognize the signs but to this day I remain oblivious when it’s happening to me. I do not know how to tell the difference between polite conversation and flirting. Unless the woman is on her knees and unzipping my pants, I just won’t see it. Anyone else suffer from this blind spot? Here's hoping your basket is empty Basket Theory and your algebra skills are improving Algebra is Like Sex  |
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Sometimes I do. Sometimes it's blatantly obvious -- even to a (admittedly) clueless ditz like me. (You know, so smart I'm dumb?  )This is my blog - [blog _Safira]. There are many like it, but this one is mine. RECOMMENDED READING: A F F The Only Site For Me
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ty for sharing hugs V  Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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It's easy to spot when I'm flirting with you, just look for the sweat to pour off me as my knees start to buckle and my tongue swells. Now if you're wearing a skirt with no panties and are so inclined, take one step closer and .........
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