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| Blogs > Rdyguy4u > Musings from the other side |
This One's For The Apple's Of My Eye's!!!
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This One's For The Apple's Of My Eye's!!! To all the single parents out there I wish to tip my hat to you and let you all know that all your hard work will not go unrewarded! Raising two on my own and working full time was the hardest thing that I've ever done! I can't tell you how many times I just wanted to through in the towel, but because of the fact that their mother walked out and abandoned them when I was at work one day was not their fault, and they needed me just as much as I learned over time that I really needed them! I remember the day's working 12 hr. shifts coming home in time for them to get up and my to watch his interactive cartoon which he looked so forward to each week, as my would bring me Barbie and ask me to dress her for her as I could barely hold my eyes open but some how I'd find a third and fourth wind, get them dressed and make breakfast for them before they would go to the neighbor's so I could get a few hours of sleep, just long enough to re-energize and get up and fix lunch and spend as much time as I could before going back to work. My day's off were our day's they liked to call them as Daddy didn't have to go away and would be home all day and night to play and read their books or go to the park, swimming, or pretty much anything they wanted to do within reason and of course we could afford. Early on we moved State to get away from the drama and distractions so that they could have a chance at a normal life of some sort. I divorced their mother and received full custody and we began our new life together. All was not a bed of roses and there were times that I wanted to scream as will be , but they were held to taking responsibility for their own actions and were disciplined accordingly and I feel as though that was what made them into the successful individuals that they are today. My was and is a very smart individual who quickly learned what he could and could not get away with and for the most part really never got into much trouble at all! He excelled and really loved school and was a joy to watch as he grew up to become an IT consultant for Microsoft in New York City. My on the other hand was the complete opposite. It seemed from the moment that she could begin talking and walking she was hell bent on trying my patients and pushing me as far as she possibly could. Basically she became a re-incarnation of my ex-wife in every way! It didn't matter what it was if you said it was black she said it was white. I swear growing up she spent more time standing in the corner, getting a spanking or being grounded and she didn't really seem to care. I really became worry some as even though daughters are Daddy's girls, still they need a female presence in their life and I was not interested in women. When she began school the nightmares really began as she would purposely act out and disrupt the classroom and I would find myself in the principles office on a daily basis. I explained our situation and asked for the school to please be patient as I was working with her and that I believed that because of her mother leaving as she did, she was acting out because of this. They said that possibly she may need professional help and maybe she did but I was not going to let some shrink screw her up some more and try and diagnose her with some disorder and put her on medication that she did not need!! I'm telling you that she was on a path of self-destruction and no matter what I did good or bad she didn't seem to care as she was kicked out of three school's. What was my and her saving grace was a series of what I think to this day was a higher power stepping in to help as one day she just happened to walk into the band room by mistake in Junior High School and no one was around. She picked up a Clarinet and started to play it, badly but she was trying none the less. The Band teacher walked in and told her that she didn't have to leave and she could stay and try and play the instrument. I received a call at work from the school and of course thinking here we go again. I left work early as I had done so many other times and was prepared for the worst. When I walked into the principles office he and the Band teacher asked me to follow them and took me to the band observation area above the band room and to my complete amazement was my little girl sitting there quietly trying to play the Clarinet as she never tried to do anything. Well to make a very long story short, It took 4 instruments until She found the Violin and from the moment that she picked it up she could make that instrument sing! She never really did that well in school as far as grades go but received passing grades, but it was her High School Band teacher who did her the favor of her life as he knew an instructor from the Julliard's School of Music and helped her put together a Demo Tape and sent it off and she was awarded a try-out for the school. She tried-out and was accepted on the merits of her advanced ability to play the Violin and was given a 3/4 scholarship to attend and of course I took care of the rest by working 16 hr days with next to no day's off for years. I am proud to say that she graduated in the top one percent of her class and from there she received an invite to try-out for the Austrialan Philharmonic Orchestra for which she was awarded Second Chair Violinist. She has been with them and living abroad for the last 8 years and I couldn't be more happy and proud of her accomplishments and just recently she tried-out for and received the First Chair Honor's!!! I write this not to brag about but only to tell you a little about my life and as they are my life, but to also give some hope to all the tired and stressed out single parents out there who like myself didn't have the help or support of another parent and is relying on themselves! My message is quite clear, as Jimmy Valvano said before he died, "Don't give up!, Don't ever give up!!" The you raise may be the next President, or maybe the one who cures Cancer, but one thing is for sure, whatever they choose to do, support them, encourage them and don't be afraid to push them a little, and always know that you did the best that you could and that you never gave up, and for that I do believe you will be rewarded, if not now, but in the future!!! Because after all, the are our future and the apple's of our eye's!!!!!!!!  |
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