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| Blogs > CaptainDilfCT > The Adventures of Cap'n Crazy! |
My Life Got Weird Again.
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My Life Got Weird Again. I am posting this kinda late because I wanted to make sure nothing else happened today. It all started as I was closing in on the end of my shift this morning. I heard a voice in my head that I haven't heard in a looooong time. I guess some people would call it my conscience. You know, the one that tells you right from wrong. I thought the little bastard had given up on me. But here he was. And the first thing he said to me was "Dude, you watch too much porn. Chill" I then had to deal with a crappy drive home. Now, it had been raining most of the night, and there was black ice EVERYWHERE. I swear the ambulances were driving by my work non stop last night. And people are still driving like it's a normal day. Including 1. Driving 70+ mph 2. Following too close/ riding peoples bumper 3. Driving without their lights on 4. Cutting each other off. Not necessarily doing all 4. But it's raining. And kinda foggy. And ICY. in a stretch of about 10 miles I saw 6 accidents. And finally, the most bizarre part of the whole day: picking my and up from school. Now all the parents stand in line outside and one by one we go to the door to retrieve our . I'm talking to a woman's whose is in a gymnastics class with mine at a dance studio my sister teaches at. She was as thanking me for bringing her to school when we had a 90 min delay because she had to get to work. I offered to continue doing it for all such delays. As we finished our conversation, an attractive<b> redhead </font></b>approached me. I recognized her from the first week of school when my pointed out that her was in his class. Here is the conversation I had with this woman, including all thoughts and actions on my part: Her: Hi. I'm -----------. Me: Hi. I'm D----, Blaise's dad. Her: I remember.Listen, can I ask you something? Not a good start to this. ME: Sure. What's up. Her: I hope I'm not being to forward, but I noticed you aren't wearing a wedding ring Way to jump off the conversational cliff with that one. ME: Uh...no. Been divorced more than a year and a half. Where is this going? Her: Oh, good. What? You see, I started a group for single parents of at Nathan Hale School and I would absolutely LOVE for you to join. We could use a guy in the group. Flashing red lights. Alarm claxons wailing. Robotic voice over loudspeaker shouting "Danger Will Robinson. Danger" Me: Sounds interesting. Her: (big smile) Great. Here is the information for it. (Hands me a piece of paper. She continues while I glance at it.) We meet every Thursday at 9pm at my house. The address and telephone number are here at the bottom. We drink wine and talk about our , the school and staff (I went to this school for 5th and 6th grade about 20 years ago)...and how much we are enjoying being single... I'm going to pause here for a second to explain a little something about me. No, I'm not talking about my obsession with redheads. Anyone remember the movie Ferris Beuller's Day Off? Specifically where he stops for a second, looks at the camera, and addresses the audience? Well, I actually do that! Not out loud, all the talking/commentary is in my head. Well, that is what I am doing at this moment. If this was a movie, I would tell the audience "This woman might be a little surprised at my response to THAT inquiry. And she probably won't like it." Ok. Back to the conversation Me: Well, that certainly sounds like you guys have fun. Her: (grabs a pen) Oh, and here is my PERSONAL cellphone number. Just in case you ever want to chat or anything. Wow. Why do I feel like a piece of meat about to be thrown to the lions. I feel dirty just thinking about it. I think I need another shower.... Speak the Truth, or make your peace some other way Follow CaptainDilfCT Superhero or pirate? You decide Sorry, I Was Thinking Again |
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