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| Blogs > backpocket13 > THE SINNERS CLUB |
The Letter
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The Letter  -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- WELCOME TO THE SINNERS CLUB -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- "Well she wrote me a letter Said she couldn't live without me no more Listen Mister, can't you see I got to get back To my baby once more." ~The Box Tops -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- AN OFFICIAL SINNERS CLUB PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- ........Good Evening, and Welcome,....Allow me to introduce Myself for those of you who may not know me, backpocket13,....The Founder and President of this Very Distinguished and Iconic Institution,....Here The Sinners Club we take our blogging Very Seriously, and I Personally get around to stopping by A Lot of blogs,....I read them and in most cases try to leave a marginally helpful comment,....... .........However (And this has really been coming for a Long Time) more and more I've been reading Frustrated and Angry blog posts by the women of this Great Site,....The Majority of these posts are based Mostly on the Overall Rudeness and Blatant Stupidity on the part of the Average Mouth Breathers who claim Manhood Despite their Painfully Obvious Inability to Compose even a Simple, Politely Structured Introductory Message,...... .........The Sheer Number of these posts caught the attention of the Brain Trust here The Sinners Club, and Naturally We All put our Heads together on this one, in search of a possible solution,....and after Many, Many Tediously Painstaking Hours of Work and Testing, and Finally Refining,....This is the Solution We've with,....... .........Now,....Before we begin,....I'd wish to ask a Favor of the Ladies present,....My Fallen Angels,....I ask you, Please,....DO NOT READ THE NEXT PARAGRAPH!!!!....Once Again,....To The WOMEN ONLY,....DO NOT READ THE NEXT PARAGRAPH!!!!....I Don't mean to off all Authoritive and Shit,....I Know the members of My Flock won't Stray and Read,....It's More to make the Boys feel a little more Comfortable with what about to tell them,......... -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- IMPORTANT! MEN READ CAFEFULLY IMPORTANT! -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- .........OK,....Guys,....The Girls aren't listening,....Trust Me,....Yeah, Beleave it or Not, They Usually Keep Their Words!.....So the Fuck Attention!....And Closely Too,....Alright, You Brain Dead Shit Heels have Seriously got to get Your Pathetic Acts Together,....and Pull Your Heads Out of Your Collective Asses!....I don't know how to say it anymore kindly,....You Fucktards would Screw a Wet Dream!....I mean, Sweet Lucifer's Halo,....How many of You actually Believed "Get Laid Tonight!" Tag Line they Use to Reel in the really Stupid Suckers?!?!....Ok,....Ok,....For those of you Did,....We Should Talk,....I've got a bridge in Jersey with a Tree growing next to it you might be interested in buying,....Anyhoo, before We get Back,....I just Have One Last question To ask you Knuckle Draggin Ass Clowns,....In what sort of Backward Ass Jerk Water Town were You raised in,....where you could Ask a Woman you've Never Met Before "Do You want to Fuck?"....And Not Win Yourself a Mouthful of Broken Teeth?!?!.....Great Satan's Pitchfork!......Fucking bunch of Mouth Breathers,....Do Us All a Favor and just pick a Fucking Message and Use It.....Thank You!!! -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- ........Ok,....Splended,....First, I'd like to Thank the Women for Not Reading the Above paragraph,....You Know,....Guy Talk and all Bullshit,....And definetly nothing the Fairer of the Sexes should have to be Exposed to,....Nevertheless,....Here we all are Together Again, Devils and Debutants,....So lets move forward, Shall We?....Now, let explain how this works, it's rather simple,....I had The Devilboy put it together so it should be at about a 5th Grade reading level,....... .........The Three sections Below contain Professionally Written Introductory Messages,....Each split into Sections Labeled "Introduction" "Middle" and "Closing" They are numbered for the simple reason all the parts numbered (1) when put together form the first complete message as it was written,....Ditto with the Second and So On,....By splitting them , this will allow you the option of Mixing and Matching your Message Conponents in case you'd like to give it a more "Personnal" touch,....Also as a Bonus,...For all of you Window Licking Morons who like to Scrape By on the Bare Minimum,....I've even included a Slightly Better Written Variation on the "Lets Fuck" Message,....This would be Number 4,...... -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- INTRODUCTIONS -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- (1) Hi, My name is (State Your Name). an interestingly stimulating, but comfortably normal guy with a healthy sexual appetite, who's curious, in a very safe way about the possibility of exploring these new avenues of arrousal with the right individual. (2) Hello (Victims Name) I would like to take the time to introduce myself, My name is (Place Your Mark Here) I just needed to let you know I was so fascinated by your personality and intellect, I was compelled to send you a message to let you know out of all of God's amazing creations, you might be the most breathtaking. (3) Well, Hello There you wicked little , They (Your Inmate ID Number here) but you can Sir. You look just like the sort of sperm gurgling gutter I've been looking for, I can tell by your pictures you could use some good long deep dicking. (4) Hey, My name is (Your "Magic the Gathering" character name) would you like to fornicate? -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- MIDDLES -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- (1) After taking the time to read your profile, I realized we have many of the same interests in common so perhaps we could chat a little and see were this goes. (2) Like a diamond has many facets, I long to discover the many incredible complexities are You, and to be awarded the chance to explore the inner essence of your beauty. You hold in your thrall, and I would consider it an honor to be allowed to experience more of the depth of your personality. (3) I'd really like to do things to you you wouldn't do to a farm animal, and are illegal in least 43 states of the Union, does sound good? I've got a brand new set of jumper cables and a cattle prod I've been absolutely dying to try out. Interested? (4) The reason I ask so bluntly is on account of the fact we are on an Adult Sex Site, and I was hoping to turn you on by doing the complete opposite, and act like a spoiled who only knows how to yell out what he wants until he gets it. -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- CLOSINGS -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- (1) So, in closing, I would like to extend an invitation, proposing we step out together for dinner, or least a cup of coffee and some pleasant conversation so we can get to know one another a bit better, and begin our promising new friendship. Sincerely Yours (The Guy With The Heads In His Freezer) (2) So let us sail away on a sea of new adventure and sexual exploration, I eagerly Await your reply my lovely thing. Yours (The Married King Of Bullshit) (3) Ok Bitch, I'll be sitting here in my collar, rubbing peanut butter on my nipples and masturbating to the new issue of "Guns and Ammo" waiting for you to get back to your New . Hurry (The Guy Living In His Parents Basement) (4) aware ignorance and a lack of self confidence are usually a big turn off, but maybe in my case you could find it in your heart to make an exception an allow to pump you full of my half witted, knuckle dragging, shit flinging offspring. I Eagerly Await Your Reply. Thanks, (The Future Of Humanity) -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- THIS HAS BEEN A SINNERS CLUB PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- ANY QUESTIONS SHOULD BE LEFT IN THE COMMENT SECTION OF THIS BLOG -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- .........Once again, We The Sinners Club would like to Thank You for Your Time and Effort,....And to ask All of You out there in the Shadows what You think about this Subject,....It is with Our Sincerest Hopes this Public Service Announcement Will Not Fall Upon Deaf Ears,....But instead Provide Upon of Continual Service to the Denizens of Blogville, and will, One Day be the Very Template of what the Proper Introductory Sexual Solicitory Message should Be,......Thank You and Goodnight. Sinfully Yours backpocket13 President: The Sinners Club The Gang of Four: BustyBettyBoop ~ Between the Sheets with Busty Yourmrsi ~ Kisses From Yourmrsi VampireVixen93 ~ VixensUnderworld Smartasswoman ~ Please Send Me Absolutely Free -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- CLASS DISMISSED -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- -|- |
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Actually just had a guy yesterday post a status saying he's sick of women and why can't he get laid, etc. I nicely told him his attitude may have something to do with it. He e-mailed me saying he doesn't care what I think and women in general disgust him, etc. So I replied that he better change that he's only looking for guys, since women in general disgust him. That he may be 34 but he's throwing a 2 year old temper tantrum. He was using caps and exclamation points liberally. It's true finding a decent guy even in life is like finding a needle in a haystack (one reason I haven't accomplished that yet) but on this site it's even harder if that's even possible. I sent an Angel to watch over you last night, it returned in a hurry. I asked why, it said "Angels can't watch porn." Thanks for fucking traumatizing my fucking Angel! Don't bother trying to figure me out. Not even the little voices in my head understand me. It's pointless!
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Ha! Love it!
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Ooops...that should of course said, "if they CAN'T take the time to read a profile..."
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Is this the line for spankings????? Thanks for commenting on my blog bp, and for giving the men here some much needed advice. However....if they can take the time to read a profile, it's unlikely they'll read your instructions. I read a card that sums it up nicely: " you do realize that my vagina has an ON and OFF switch linked to the words that come out of your mouth..."
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Thanks for responding to my rant on my blog with the link to this Public Service Announcement. It would be a blessing if they would all at least read it or at the very least find some grace and dignity in themselves and compose a decent email rather than the ones I'm sure most of us ladies get on here. "Wanna fuck", "Horny tonight", "Let's hook up", "I wanna fuck you", "Do you squirt" - duh, I think my profile alludes to the fact that I do as do the pictures and my blog. At any rate, I did get a chuckle and wanted to say thank you hun. {=} HavNFun2Now  "It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover." Marge Piercy
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Thank you for that, sugar! I swear I just got a msg that read, " Do you like sucking cocks?" Yup. That was the whole message. First of all, If they read my blog AT ALL they would know that I certainly do. Secondly, what kind of introduction is THAT?! I wrote back, "Is that really all you could think up?" *sigh* I think I will send him a link to this post 
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May I be the teacher's pet?    
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LMAO. Well done! I posted similar subject matter on my blog. You're welcome to look... But this isn't a shameless pimp of my blog... Okay, yes it is. You did better than I did though. I offered copy/pasta rights to any males who needed to use the templates. I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the San Diego zoo.
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Love it..... but do the numbers in intros, middles and closings have to correlate or is it a mix and match? Pleeeaaassseee say it's mix and match!  From Alicia With Love XX Come and join me in Wonderland... Talk to me... Play with me... lead me astray.... [blog AliciaBlonde]
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Hello Sir  Thank you so much for todays lesson, Hopefully many can use this advice. BTW, you seem like a "jack sparrow/ indiana jones" type rolled into one yummy package..I LIKE IT!
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oh sinner man i think I need to be kept after class for special instruction  Good girls go to heaven,....Bad girls go EVERYWHERE! I love to travel Come visit my blog tigger678902
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Priceless! Thanks  for the good laugh.XXX
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