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| Blogs > sirenprime > Passion, Peeves and Ponderings |
Real Life / Real Meetings
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Real Life / Real Meetings I was reading a blog by a couple named funsmartfriendly titled, " Are You Ready To Meet ... Really?" wherein they posed the question: "Sometimes we wonder if some (most?) people are truly ready to meet offline" After I realized that my reply { as is my wont} actually exceeded their post, the Lovely Siren and I decided to post it as a separate entity here, with a few additional thoughts that arrived after I reread my stream of consciousness post. So...using their question as a starting point, here are our thoughts.... Well.....Let's see......AFTER you discount the "couples" who are actually just men, and then include the "couples" where the wife never even knows that she's being included in a profile, and then factor in the women with voices that are of an octave well below the feminine, one COULD be led to conclude that there are no Real people out there willing to play... BUT....even within the then suitably reduced number of potential playmates, there are indeed people who are living vicariously through their online personas. Coming out from behind the ether can be as difficult as coming out from the closet; it means you have to admit who you are, both to the world at large, and more importantly, to yourself. There will always be people who are unwilling, or unable to make that leap. There may well be a fair number of people who seriously want to play in real life, but real life can indeed throw all sorts of curves at scheduling. When working couples have , there really IS no such thing as a set agenda, it becomes more fluid than mud flats in November. While understanding, consideration, and most of all, patience are required to ever meet up with folk of this demographic, it would seem to be a better option for them to put aside their hobby until such time as a commitment to playtime can realistically be set. And finally, in our experience, there are those people who care not one whit for the feelings of the people they chat with, and merely wish to enlarge their own already over-sized egos by adding "potentials" to whatever lists they have chosen to compose. While we have taken great pains, both in person and our blog to defend the right of anyone, anytime,anywhere, to choose ONLY the people they genuinely have a desire to interact with, we still see far too many instances where the desire to be desired is an end unto itself, even in cases where the reciprocal match is clearly outside of a realistic expectation. If we all agree that there are people "out of our league" , whether in a higher or lower sense, should the plug not be pulled sooner rather than later, BEFORE expectations of an actual meeting are even aroused? Sadly, not everyone has enough self-awareness to resist the urge to linger... Now, having said ALL of that....we have met, and plan to meet more, good people who line up with both our looks, personalities, and lifestyle { in the old fashioned sense of that word }. The experiences we HAVE had were certainly fulfilling enough to keep us coming back for more, and we enjoyed most if not all of our times learning about new friends. But, in doing so, we have come to the realization that is our own responsibility to do the winnowing; to separate the wheat from the chaff, as it were, early in any conversations. Since we are clearly aware of the aforementioned issues in making contact, isn't it therefore up to us to recognize the Red Flags immediately? IF it becomes clear that the likelihood of an in-person meeting is unlikely, we think we do everyone a service by short-circuiting the cycle before it becomes untenable, rather than after a disappointing evening waiting around at a Starbucks for someone who's Never going to arrive. { Or, most assuredly, allowing the converse to take place...} Let your experience be your guide, and never let passion overpower your common sense. Your gut will tell you when it's time to let go, and also when to carry on! At least that's how we humbly see things. Thanks again to Mr. & Mrs. funsmartfriendly for the inspiration! 
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Absolutely wonderful! You are on point in so many ways. I am a female on here and some think it's quite easy. You have to week through a bunch of shit before you get to someone that you really want to MEET. Thanks for this great blog! Rachel Mae
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Boy, did you ever hit the nail on the head. A lot of this also applies to singles meeting other singles. I often wonder if I am just a "fake" on this site, as I would have to make HUGE positive adjustments to my dysfunctional life to seriously consider meeting anyone with the expectation that it could "go anywhere". However, that fear is tempered by the fact that someone has to live within about an hour from my location in the boonies, for me to take them seriously. And so, I languish; and sometimes fall into the pit of desperation - just to have some contact of an intellectual (and hopefully leading to a physical) nature. I KNOW I'm my own worst enemy, and if I really wanted to make room for a man in my life, I would. I KNOW I'd be happier, even if a man didn't enter into the picture. This post was a bit of a "smack in the head" to me, when I realized that I may just be a tease on this site. But then, I remember - I blog here. But is that the only reason I'm here? Hell if I know. Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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sirenprime replies on 5/31/2016 10:50 am: Thanks for your kind words. You are correct, good manners, which should include reading a person's profile, CAN forestall a lot of grief... More than welcome. I am always amazed at the number of people that do not read profiles and 'assume' literally that we are all here to have random sex with anyone that asks us. When I see men's profiles that say they have no preferences it is a turn off to me because it comes across as they will have sex with anyone that asks them!! Male or female that is a turn off if they are having sex with anyone. ewwww!! lol I have on more than one occasion written back to the men that contact me and note that their profiles explicitly state 'NO MEN' as they are not gay and I ask them if they want that followed then why bother me when my profile says not available?? Why is it that men have preferences, but the women are not supposed to or it means we are fake?? I am so glad NOT everyone does this, but unfortunately too many do and it ruins it for the others. Again, you have a terrific blog post today. I wouldn't think people on a whole would want to waste their time and there are so many things people can do to narrow out or as you say split the wheat from the chaff and they don't do it and rush in expecting instant sex. It leads to more disappointment than good endings.
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I think this is a well written blog personally. I do agree with the common sense thing, but unfortunately there are many here that have no common sense at all. they saw "get laid in 24 hours" and assume that everyone here is here to have sex and nothing else. They assume we have no preferences and that we are just so horny that anything with a penis is what we want and will do. I have even noticed how many over the years I have been here seem to think that the ladies on here are here doing nothing more than sitting by their computers fingering themselves and constantly wet just waiting for 'them' to come along and have sex. All of this is so untrue!! There had been an excellent blog I made the mistake of not copying and saving as it has now been removed that outlined in the best of ways that women on here DO have jobs, families, and things to do including laundry, cooking, possibly the PTA, a job outside of the home, and children to raise. With all of this going on no one anywhere should expect anyone to just jump up and within 5 minutes be ready for a meeting be it in a restaurant or a hotel and suddenly get straight to having sex. Unfortunately, the site ads and the lack of common sense leads many to think that this is a 'sex site' meaning that it is some magical online whorehouse warehouse where they just need to make a profile and start asking women to have sex and they will miraculously get laid in that 24 hour time period the site said was there. It is not impossible, but for men it is highly improbable that it will happen. It takes TIME to get to know someone and get to feeling comfortable about them. Women especially are targets for r4pists and attackers and the internet is filled with them just do a search. Even men can be victims of heinous crimes, do a search for Mark Twitchell and see what you find. These are not isolated incidents, they happen quite frequently because people fail to use common sense. When a person holds back and wishes to talk it doesn't mean it will be endless chatter and emails all the time. It also can mean that they want to be CAREFUL and SAFE in the meeting and a good person will realize this and not start yelling fake and liar just because a woman didn't put out on the first contact. On a final note I do wish that people would read profiles more. Sadly there are the ones that think they have to try even if it states clearly the other person is not interested in something and they are and they contact them anyway. This leads to an inbox full of unwanted emails, frustration, ignoring those emails as they clearly were not interested in that, and then the guys are angry they got no replies and we are back to fakes and liars. In fact, had they respected that profile they would have known they were going to get rejected. My profile clearly says I don't want to meet anyone yet I get emails asking if I really mean that. Trust me, it got lame after the first 5 emails. Folks, sometimes people really DO know what they want and if they say no to something lean more towards they mean it not that you have to take a chance because they may not. Yes, there will be a few that will budge a bit and that may be on age or location, but for the most part if a woman says NO married men for instance they really do mean it. You will only tick off the majority while looking for the one that will flip for you. Good post!!
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