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10 Things You Should Never Say To A Canadian
10 Things You Should Never Say To A Canadian I cannot take credit for this list but can certainly identify with the items listed. No doubt my fellow Canucks will too. 1. Anything in a fake Canadian accent Want to insult a Canadian? Just put on a fake Canadian accent. Although the origins of this exaggerated accent are obscure, it must have been invented shortly after the country’s inception in 1867—because it’s really starting to show its rust. As cute and quaint as it might sound, the “Canadian accent” sounds nothing at all like how actual Canadians speak. That’s not to say we don’t have our own unique way of speaking (stand up, Newfoundland), it’s just that we’re a lot more Wayne Gretzky than Doug Mackenzie. 2. Disparaging comments about hockey You might think P.K. Subban is a showboat or that the Ottawa Senators will never win a Stanley Cup, and you might be right, but be careful before you utter a disparaging remark about a hockey player or team in Canada. As a general rule, Toronto Maple Leafs insults can fly pretty much anywhere across the country, even in Toronto where fans mostly have a sense of humour. (Just one of 50 reasons to fall in love with Toronto.) Montreal Canadiens insults, on the other hand, can get you in trouble whether you’re in Beaver Creek, Yukon, or Blackhead, Newfoundland. Habs fans are everywhere and there’s nothing funny about the most storied team in NHL history. So when it comes to insulting the sport of hockey, just don’t do it, unless you really want to see the gloves come off. 3. “Cheese and gravy? Ew.” No one can deny the magical relationship between french fries and ketchup. However, if you’re ordering fries and you’re asked if you’d like poutine instead, your answer should always be yes. For the uninitiated, poutine is a common Canadian dish that consists of french fries topped with squeaky cheese curds and gravy. If you’re concerned about that expanding gut of yours, many restaurants offer a healthier, vegetarian gravy substitute. Some diehard poutine fans might call mushroom or vegetable gravy sacrilege, but the only real crime is opting for boring old french fries when you can indulge in a Canadian delicacy. 4. “Hey! I’m walking here!” Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where do you think you are, New York City? Unless you’re actually trying to insult a Canadian, there’s only one thing you say when someone bumps into you: “Sorry.” The classic apology can mean anything from sincere acknowledgement of a mistake to passive aggressive annoyance. Just be sure you don’t put any stink on the word; as annoyed as you might be, it’s important to say sorry without sounding like you’re trying to start something. 5. The F-word (in Quebec) The next time you stub your toe in Quebec, you might also want to bite your tongue. It’s not that Quebecers are prudes or dislike foul language, per se, it’s just that they happen to have their own heavenly style of swearing, which involves cursing the sacred items of the Catholic Church. It might seem a bit weird until you let an angry tah-bar-nac (the box where the Eucharist is kept) roll off your tongue. It has to be one of the most satisfying words to utter in a fit of agitation. Other popular swear words include os-tee (the communion wafer) and ka-lees (the cup from which you drink the holy wine). For extra punch, try combining the words into super swears: os-ti tah-bar-nac or ka-lees tah-bar-nac. 6. “Canada is the 51st U.S. state.” Canada is not the same country as the United States. Everyone in Canada knows this, which is why it’s so frustrating when people around the world don’t seem to realize that our home and native land isn’t simply the 51st state of the U.S. Their confusion is somewhat understandable: Canada and the U.S. are such strong allies and many Canadian celebrities hop the border to find success in Hollywood. But if you ever want to insult a Canadian, ask them if they voted for Trump or Clinton, or why we drink milk out of bags. You’re bound to get some major eye rolls. 7. “Canadian beer sucks.” It’s not that we can’t take the criticism or that our taste buds are numbed by years of drinking “moose urine,” as the Americans like to call it, it’s simply that we don’t understand why a nation of light beer guzzlers think they have the right to insult Canadian beer (or German, Polish, English or Japanese beer, for that matter). It’s a bit like someone who grew up on cheese-in-a-can screwing up their nose at free-range, organic chèvre. If you don’t know how beer is supposed to taste, please keep your comments to yourself. Raise a toast to Canadian beer (or a Caesar, if you prefer) at one of Canada’s best brunch spots. 8. “A-boot.” Let’s face it: a-boot jokes have always insulted Canadians. It’s true what they say about accents: everyone has one and you can’t always hear your own, but this whole business about Canadians saying a-boot instead of about is just confusing. If anything, we say a-boat or, more accurately, a-beh-out. So, don’t say a-boot unless you want to get kicked by one. 9. “I disagree with your religious beliefs.” Argue over politics, expound your views the most underrated province, even publicly take a stance on Bieber, but never talk about religion. Unless, of course, you’re saying something to the effect of, “I support your right to believe what you believe.” Though the country is more than two-thirds Christian, religion remains an issue Canadians prefer to keep within the walls of their private homes and holy places. A lot of the world’s conflicts are rooted in religion and Canadians are a peace-loving people. It all comes down to the fact that we want to like each other. Maybe the best way to do that is to ignore each other’s differences. 10. “Quebec should separate from Canada.” The issue of Quebec sovereignty has been a controversial topic in Canada for the last 50 years or so. To put it simply, a portion of the Quebec population wants the province to separate from Canada, 49.2 per cent voted in favour of separation in a 1995 referendum. As for the rest of the country? Well, they see this as a bit of a snub. Quebec sovereignty deals with a lot of touchy topics from cultural genocide to violent revolution. If you want to give the pot a good ol’ stir and insult a whack of Canadians, talk about why you think the province should become its own independent nation. |
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With Canada Day (July 1), this seemed appropriate. Feel free to add any others!
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6/28/2018 11:25 am |
Interesting
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I'm not going to add but I can respond to each....."Eh"!!! 1..I didn't know we had an accent.."Eh"!!! 2...Maple Leafs are my favorite team.."Eh"!!! 3...I don't like poutine...amp; 4...If someone bumps into me, I check my pockets for my wallet... 5..... you can say "F"iretruck in Alberta 6..."NOW THAT'S AN INSULT".... 7....I don't drink so I don't care!...."Eh"!!! 8...I have a couple..."Eh"!!! 9...I have my religion...you have yours!!...."Eh"!!! 10.. I just lost my voice!! ...."Eh"!!! Have a great day in "Torona"......."Eh"!!!
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"Which part of Canadia do you come from?" Thank you kindly.
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Im not from Canada so I had no idea, great list thanks for sharing now I know what NOT to say to a Canadian..
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Could you like tell Russ Melchik we found his Ping snow wedge out in the sun room. I'd sure would hate to be there in Banff in january and he reaches for his snow wedge and and it's not in his bag and unleashes one of his extremely friendly vulgar tirades like he does out here when he gets kidded about not leaving a tip. Thank You 2ndegree Byrnes Phx.The Sun Using more than all the road!
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the most important thing not to say to Canadians .Hey all the tim hortons are closing down this week lol . I live near the border, have dated several Canadian woman and my kids are 1/4 quebecer on their mothers side .
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Hi sexyldy1000 Thanks for sharing this post... I shall read prior to my next visit... made me think of this one... "Love is a game, they say... looks like you're in it... behind the feet's own grey your eyes are killing can see it in your eyes... you're wonderful... say... your eyes... you wanna go home... I used to walk away... when floors were filling... my mind is left astray... looks like I'm willing... can see it in your eyes... you wanna go... say... your eyes... you wanna go home... you put me in danger... you put me... you put me in danger... you put me... I'll be at my weakest when you hold, when you hold, when you hold me... And, I'll be on my knees when you hold, when you hold, when you hold on... I'll be at my weakest when you hold, when you hold, when you hold me... And, I'll be on my knees when you hold, when you hold, when you hold on... I try to find my way... my mind is spinning... the darkness eats my day... your heat is killing... you put me in danger... you put me... you put me in danger... you put me..." - Haevn - "Love is a game" To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog: Good luck!!!
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6/29/2018 9:43 am |
I'm a Red Wings fan so my opinion of Canadian hockey teams is based on that. As for the beer....my opinion of all lite beer, Canadian or American is it's like sex on the beach...........It's fucking close to water!!! As for the rest of it I am from Michigan, I have always enjoyed trips to Canada. I envy your large cities, I love Toronto and I really enjoy Montreal. As for accents sometimes you run into that Finnish accent (you find it in the UP of Michigan also) otherwise I never really noticed any. Great people great country.
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I DO wish USA citizens would adopt the attitude found in #9, I so damm tired of defending my non-christian beliefs! And I had never heard of Poutine, but is sure sounds good, gotta receipe ?
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Really? That's how they swear in Québec? Kool. Thanks for sharing. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Love a proud Canadian!
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7/8/2018 4:56 pm |
Fun facts! Thanks for sharing.
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8/14/2018 9:41 pm |
I'm a Red Wings fan, we have been insulting Canadian hockey sense the beginning of the NHL
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