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I can't stop fantasizing about my ex, and her best friend.
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I can't stop fantasizing about my ex, and her best friend. It's been more than three years since she dumped me, but I still can't stop fantasizing about my ex. Mostly, I think about getting one last fuck or suck. One of the sticking points for me regarding our break up is that I'm almost positive she was planning on doing it for a couple of months before she actually did. This means, the last time we had sex, she knew it was going to be the last time we would have sex. Me? If I had known it was going to be the last time, I would have made the most of it. I can't remember a single detail about it. But I bet she does. and that really bugs me. When she dumped me, after she explained why, and suggested we could still be friends (are you fucking kidding me, after four years?!) I got up to leave and she got up too and said, "Hug?" I said, "No." like it was a disgusting proposition. Obviously she was trying to make herself feel better. If I had hugged her, or said we could still be friends, then she could convince herself that it's really okay. No big deal. So I refused. Now I wish I'd replied with, "Blowjob?" I mean really, what did I have to lose? Should have asked for a blowjob. fuck knows if she would have done it. But she might have. She really might have. out of guilt, but still. After I walked out her door I only contacted her twice (technically, three times). That night I called her to tell her that I was not okay with the break-up. The next day we emailed a bit to coordinate the picking up of my stuff (we coordinated so I wouldn't have to see her). And some weeks later I posted a missed connection for her, the contents of which I don't remember. I don't remember if it was angry, or what. It was passive-aggressive at any rate. Now I fantasize about emailing her in the middle of the night during the weeks following the break-up and asking if she wants to fuck. I fantasize about what if she had been there when I picked up my stuff. One last fuck? Could I cum on her face? I also fantasize about her best friend. I knew her friend before I knew her and I fantasize about meeting her for coffee just to talk over shit and try to maintain our friendship (in reality our friendship had been slipping ever since we'd become roommates. I'd already moved out by the time of the break-up and really hadn't been communicating with her at all). My last communication with her, the friend, was a couple of emails back and forth expressing my frustration over the break-up. She suggested I seek therapy, "talk to somebody". I thought I was talking to my friend. Now I fantasize about inviting her for coffee sometime when I visit Toronto on business. We'd get back into our old rapport, and I'd tell her about the awesome hotel my work put me up in, and how it's got a great view. Who doesn't love a great view? Of course I'd get friendly with her once we're up there. In my mind, we fool around a while but I hold back from giving her an orgasm. During a cool down I ask her why we never had a three-way with my ex and I convince her to call her, invite her over somehow. and then of course, we do have a three-way. It's a pretty uncomplicated fantasy, and it works every time. I just picture the two of them between my legs. The asian ex, thinner now, with longer hair. The curvy blonde friend, a little more mature and less silly. They'd take turns sucking my cock, licking my balls, kissing each other, one jerking me while the other sucks. "Who wants my cum?" I'd ask. I don't even know who I'd want to take it. And when I'm done they look at each other and we all agree we should have done this a long time ago. |
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