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Safe Sex  

ardientecouple 61M/59F
9 posts
3/16/2009 3:04 pm
Safe Sex

These days, safe sex isn't just a good idea, it's a matter of life and death. Here are some valuable tips to help you "play it safe"...

Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.

Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.

Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm."

Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you.

Before unsafe sex, think to yourself what the will look like.

Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.

When taking four cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.

Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"

Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetrating ape.

You CAN get it from kissing... tear out partner's tongue before any mouth-to-mouth contact.

To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.

If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out before hand to hope for the best.

Before the use of condoms, unroll completely and check for any holes.


rm_willbill121 38M
14 posts
3/16/2009 3:40 pm

hahah good advice


ilike7s 46F

3/16/2009 3:46 pm

I don't believe anyone...condoms all the way!

Kisses

~M


WM4Fun1954 69M/56F  
48 posts
7/2/2018 11:14 am

You forgot "before using a condom, poke a hole in the end to allow the air to escape and make the condom fit more snugly".....


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