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| Blogs > warmandsexy52 > A Delicious Slice of Life |
AdultFriendFinder - The Great Masked Ball
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AdultFriendFinder - The Great Masked Ball I like honesty in another person. I like self-disclosure. But to achieve this level of trust there needs to be a quality of friendship. The big issue I have with Polyamory Date is that I’ve walked into a masked ball. There are a very few people who lower the mask, and they only do so, understandably once a level of trust has been earned. I will lower my mask too, and there is always the issue of first-call. As a male there is a pressure, through sheer numbers, to shape a mask that is believed to be competitive, and this drives about seventy percent of males to endow their mask with a mighty fine<b> phallus </font></b>design, regardless of whether this motif attracts a similar proportion of female members, of whom about five percent carry the yoni signature, despite the well-documented tendency of males to be voyeuristic. There are some interesting research opportunities here for anyone who can pick up the grant, or if you are after the money, consultancies on market research (Polyamory Date, however, would more than likely kick you out before you earned your first cent). Competitiveness creates inscriptions on male masks that describe the kinds of lovers women must have always dreamed about. Where have they all been hiding all your life? But, oh yes, I forgot, they’re masks. Truth is, Mr Perfect is a construct to raise expectations. It’s hard to be too honest when shaping a mask. It’s almost impossible to declare weaknesses as well as strengths, virtuous though this may be. After all it is to be looked at and possibly chosen from a list of alternatives. Yet it settles well with karma, if somehow it is you. It can’t be easy for women members of Polyamory Date, being the centre of attention, being surrounded by all these masks. Over-attention can be more problematic than inattention. Eager to get started on the network a strong come-on mask-motif invites a huge crowd, the genuine, the fake, the troubled, the desperate … the whole kaleidoscope of male humanity, all masked, some cleverly-masked, some deceptively so, some both. So the discovery comes through interaction, trial and error and I guess experience. Men have to live through the behaviour of rejection, women the behaviour of acceptance. The former is much easier than the latter. Practically all our other roles ‒ our working role, our role as a friend, as a partner, as a parent, as a family member are face to face. We make contact, shaking hands, hugging, kissing affectionately and so on. There are behaviours guided by social codes developed over millennia of human history. We read each other’s facial expressions and body language, and even then we sometimes get it wrong. In a person’s role in cyberspace the computer screen itself is another layer, a mask if you will. And once the mask is on the social codes become challenged and we enter the world of topsy-turvey, as in an eighteenth century Venetian carnival. Let the masquerade begin!  |
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12/27/2006 11:28 am |
How true! Let the dance begin!
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8/5/2006 9:40 pm |
Wow, why did I only find this today!!! It is very true. I sometimes feel like I am the only person who joined Polyamory Date without a mask..... but that is just the type of person I am. I dont like masks!
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Psst...Warmandsexy: for starters TURN YER DANG PROFILE ON! You think fairy godmothers have a direct route? sheesh.. Anyway, there are ride shares, there are room shares (some complimentary), there is reasonably priced food, there is complimentary food...the hotel provides a hot buffet breakfast spread as well. EMAIL me on ya hoo (same handle) and I can send to links and try to hook you up. Hope to see you at the convention!  Also check out these posts Convention Information and Ride Playful, err, I mean hookup, err, I mean I
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rocky I think I have been very lucky. I have, by whatever fate, been in the very best of company, who have encouraged, inspired, challenged and provoked. Thank you
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W&S... I see it did not take you long to officially arrive. Well done. And good luck as always. This was a very thoughtful and provocative piece. ♪rockwriter58♪
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You are charming and disarming. In my being less than perfect your words delight. Thank you.
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jacexprime2 ... oh but you will do. You are insightful, intuitive, open and honest. The women I've known who seek that in a guy. And you have youth. If I could turn my 53 year old clock back what second chances I would choose! Beyond games and into becoming a human being. You got it!
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luckywithladeez... you are so right to draw my attention to inherent dichotomies and problematics in mask-wearing. You have added a depth of insight. Thanks.
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mizzkitka ... around the house - yes. Back garden ... elderly neighbours and small children next door each side, could upset people I like - no. Very small front garden, straight on to the street. Could get arrested - the UK indecency laws would deem me to be 'a vagabond and a rogue'! - no. Beach, sauna, skinnydipping on a quiet stretch of a river - yes (but not the Thames!) Interesting analogy. The lowering of masks as becoming naked in different contexts. Hmmm ... I shall have to think on this one!
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thr3some ... delighted by the exuberance and confidence you have in mask-wearing. Are there new styles and techniques I've missed out on (can you tell me?)And if everyone will be doing it should I rebel by brazenly being myself in public?
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mzhunyhole ... oh, how I'd love to come to Chicago and ride from O'Hare to the ball. What fun there'd be. But I'm feeling like a reversed-gender Cinderella. What can I do?
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BLONDENEEDSSEX. Thanks for the welcome and the praise. I didn't have the Lonely Planet Guide to Blogland, so still finding my feet. I just loved 'Your Passion is My Desire' written on August 9th.
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but you write so well jacexprime2 - thank you
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Insecure people, for whatever reason either subconsciously or consciously, overcompensate in another way. As a result, they act as if they are greater than they are, for example, more intelligent or more broad-minded. It’s unfortunate that they feel that it’s necessary for them to appear different from who they really are, but nevertheless, they cannot help themselves. Thus, a person who experiences insecurity usually offsets it in some way; perhaps he/she will not seem to tire as fast as others, may appear more serious, or not laugh or relate as much as others. What’s more, when a person does not seem open, others usually detect such behavior as arrogance or pride. In reality, it often is merely a mask for insecurity; the person feels terribly inferior and afraid. Likewise, there are many reasons why people choose to isolate themselves and display a “don't touch me” attitude in day-to-day living, yet seek refuge and protection behind the mask of a CRT. I.e. he or she may feel pain from others’ judgements in daily life, or merely wish to compensate for low physical or social self-esteem and/or skills. Likewise, the CRT shield may offer him or her refuge from childhood nightmares, and the sad part is, the recipient might recall these words every day of his or her adult life and absolutely believe that he or she is inferior. Thus, overcompensation in these forums may be the last refuge of a person feeling that he or she has not been recognized properly elsewhere. Subconsciously he or she wants to cry out to others, "Why don't you recognize me? I am a human being with feelings, too. I want the same rights you enjoy. I need to be noticed; please pay attention to me!” Thus, when he or she posts, his or her tone may be sharper than usual, and the words not as round as love normally is. Arrows fly from his or her mouth; those who are struck may define this as uncalled-for arrogance. The arrows are unnecessary, the accusations merely retaliations to an unseen inner enemy. Nevertheless, we live in a world of fear and most feel that he or she has to protect him or herself. We naturally build up different protective devices around ourselves and as soon as our shell is pierced, some emotions automatically shoot out. None of them are warranted, but it happens. Although some people seem arrogant, often their behavior discourages others from investigating what the arrogance represents. Usually it is merely a call for love. The issue is all a question of inner freedom. If you fear nothing, you will have no need to cover up. But everybody experiences some common fears: Will I get enough love? Who will love me? Will anybody recognize me? Finally, these fears evoke reactions such as timidity. Which Begs the Questions What do you see? What do you want from life? Is it Karma, or is it ignorance? Do I/we lead, or do I/we follow? Is my cup half full, or is it half empty? If Orwell and 1984 are long past, is the future now certain? Is life a long and winding road, or is it merely a passing cliche? Fear not oh voyager, let's look at life together! If I refuse to evolve, I only limit myself. Any first level thought is easily parried, as like unto like...The pen is mightier than the sword, yet actions speak louder than words. [post_65563]
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This blog was triggered by reading Life is Like a Cup of Tea: However You Make It by mizzkitka. Worth reading.
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8/30/2005 5:00 pm |
Excellent piece of writing. Welcome to Blogland. Blonde
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Thanks travelingintexas. Kind words from a guy whose own blogs are worthy of great respect.
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