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Blogs > whoisagentj > The Dossier of Agent J

Am I too smart for my own good?  

whoisagentj 54M
661 posts
6/6/2019 11:31 am

Last Read:
6/8/2019 10:08 am
Am I too smart for my own good?

Ok this is a new one...

I saw this woman's new profile on here, so I checked it out. She seemed normal, so I took a chance, sent a message to introduce myself:

Hello! I'm J, nice to meet you. I happened to see your profile and I wanted to see if you are interested in meeting up and getting to know each other. Would you be willing to meet up sometime this week so we could talk and see if we click?

Sincerely,
J

Surprise! I got one back:

thanks for the message Joseph ... my name is P.... i will love to know more about you and also meet you if possible

6/5/2019 7:57 am

Ok, the nitpicky in me, she should have said "I would love..." but anyone can make mistake. But she says she wants to know more about me, so...ok fine. This is what I sent her back:

Hello P..... Well not sure what I can tell you as I'm an open book on my profile, but here goes...

Right now, I'm living with my mom and dad at the moment. It's not because I'm a momma's boy or I live in my basement. Right now, my mom has stage 4 colon cancer. I had to move back in to help her out due to her having previous boughs of breast cancer and lymphatic cancer, unfortunately she's been fighting it for several years now and I've been there helping around the house when I can and to provide some assistance.
I've been<b> divorced </font></b>over years now. I get along as nicely as I can with my ex for the sake of my in order to be a part of their lives. I have two , both in their teens, a and a . They are really the lights of my life and I want to be a part of their life right now.

I do live in the south suburbs, but I used to live in Mount Prospect, and I work in Elk Grove Village, so I'm not far from Arlington Heights, and I know the area very well here. I am planning in the next year to move out of the house and move back up here in order to be with my and live closer to work as I recently got my new job here several months ago.

Not sure what else I can tell you, but if you have any more questions please let me know.

Also what time this week would you like to get together? When is a good day for you so we can meet and talk?

Sincerely,
J


I thought it was just enough info for her, not to overload her with too much. Maybe I was wrong, I dunno, but I'd rather be upfront and honest and it's what I had posted on my profile somewhat.
Anwyay, a day goes by, and I see her on so I decided to say hello again:

Good morning P....! How are you? Haven't heard back from you yet, so I wanted to let you know I was thinking about you today. Did you have any questions for me since you said you wanted to get to know more about me?

Perhaps I could ask what do you do for a living? What are you looking for here? Is it just sex or something more?


And....this is what I got back from her:

you write too much message you can't expect a woman to read all i am too lazy to read

What. the. F***? Huh? Is she for real? So I sent this back to her...

Ummm, was a joke or are you for real? I couldn't tell because there was no goofy face emoji to indicate you were joking or not.

Now here's the thing...she has multiple pictures on her profile and they all look the same. But her English and grammar really stinks. Which is kind of a yellow flag situation here. It's not a red flag, but yellow. If it were red I'd be like time to move on. But this...I dunno.

Anyway, what do you folks think? Is this a keep probing more to see if this person is real or is this a red flag/time to dump this person and move on situation?

What would you do if you ran across this?
Who can you call on to save the day?

Why none other than...

Agent


Imthatgirl1122 42F
1835 posts
6/7/2019 3:24 am

 finger crossed


whoisagentj replies on 6/7/2019 6:16 am:
Wait...are you seriously going to take a vacation to Chicago?

Heathen_G 65M
7974 posts
6/6/2019 10:38 pm
    Quoting  :
I have to put in my 2 cents here....

we women are repeatedly reminded that this is a sex site, ... Usually when you have to repeatedly remind a very simple fact to someone, there's a cognitive problem with that person.

so we're only supposed to meet to have sex...not talk. .... Again..."Not true". The reason a healthy man is trying to meet a woman, is , sure, to see if she wants to have sex.......but NOT "Only"meet to have sex. There'll be talking... but in person.

IME, if a guy is not willing to actively chat for about a week before discussing meeting ......If a woman pulls this nonsense on you... "Talk to me for about a week, then maybe we'll meet".....she is out to waste your time.
Women with a weight problem want to pull this trick, because she figures if she can reach his imagination, he may not reject her based on looks.

he's not interested in anything but sex..... Well he is on a hookup site. You meet in person for 10 minutes... .and all you have to do, is curtsy and say, "No kind sir, I don't want to have sex with you". He's not going to shackle you and do you against your will. .........How often do you hear on the News about a woman being on a sex site , taken against her will, at a public place meeting?!


positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
6/6/2019 7:32 pm

 I think she is fake. The grammar, no punctuation, curt, rude.


Heathen_G 65M
7974 posts
6/6/2019 6:45 pm

 whoisagentj replies on 6/6/2019 6:16 pm:
I think that might have been my mistake. She asked to know more about me and I took that as an invitation to talk more, which I just should have asked "Fine, where and when do you want to me?"

She asked to know more about me ......Doesn't matter if she begs to know more about you....

Always feed information about yourself, slowly, to a woman.

When she's interested, your objective is to keep her interested. ...Okay, so what interests women? ...Mystery? For instance, how does a writer keep you interested in the story they tell.. ... they give you bits , here and there, to make you want to read more.

So it's the same way in keeping a woman interested. So don't be a chatty Cathy. Let her be that, but only in person.


Heathen_G 65M
7974 posts
6/6/2019 4:08 pm
    Quoting redrockrascal:
    I've been here since 2014 and have met over a dozen women in person from this site. I've met them doing what I described to the OP. I got together with most of them more then twice and several were ongoing relationships. So it work out well for me.

    Once again you're clueless, as you often are here, because you know nothing about me. Also, from what most of the women here have mentioned, you are clueless about them too.
None of this is about you. .....The best way is to meet with her in person for 10 minutes....not waste time texting and talking on a phone.


whoisagentj replies on 6/6/2019 6:28 pm:
I think a bit of talk is ok, but I do agree with you that the goal is to actually meet face to face.

Naughtypursuit 56F  
2766 posts
6/6/2019 3:53 pm

 I learned the hard way to chat for a bit before meeting. So it will never be the first week of chatting that I agree to meet. Generally if a man is asking to meet right away my feeling he is looking for a quickie and gone.

Honesty is great but you need to slow it down a bit.. Key points only....


whoisagentj replies on 6/6/2019 6:27 pm:
Well, I agree talking a bit is ok, but every person is different. Doing a solid week of chatting might be a bit too much for most men. And some men, like myself, actually want to meet, but I don't want sex right away. I'd rather talk to them first and see if they are compatible or not. If they are not compatible, I'm not going to be having sex with them.

I also think honesty is good, and I just rather want to meet them so we can talk face to face. Talking here can be bad, because there is no inflection in a person's voice when typing. You can't hear a person's tone when you ask them a question. Face to face talk is needed.

redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
6/6/2019 3:52 pm
    Quoting Heathen_G:
    talking off site (email or text), then comes phone (voice NOT text. Then you "properly" ask a woman out on the phone if the flow / chemistry is there...... No... Absolutely not.... big waste of time, and a dead end.

    The idea is to meet the woman, not never meet her.

    You had her interest online.... you immediately move from online to offline, at some location in person.

    Otherwise, if you don't move it.... she has no real incentive to meet you!!

    You're texting, you're talking on the phone.... your dick is no where near her....you're giving her attention... she now has no incentive to meet you.
I've been here since 2014 and have met over a dozen women in person from this site. I've met them doing what I described to the OP. I got together with most of them more then twice and several were ongoing relationships. So it work out well for me.

Once again you're clueless, as you often are here, because you know nothing about me. Also, from what most of the women here have mentioned, you are clueless about them too.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


whoisagentj replies on 6/6/2019 6:23 pm:
Well here's the thing...I think both you and Heathen are correct. I do think the goal is to get a woman to meet you, but you have to do it quickly. You can't go say talking to them here, then talking to them offline, then talking to them on the phone, and then set up a meet. That might work for some, but others it won't work because as Heathen suggests, they want a person to talk to but not to meet.

And I've had over a dozen that wanted to do nothing but talk but never meet.

I think it's a mixture of both. You have to have a great intro, they respond, and then ask the where and when would you like to meet if they agree. If they do agree, fine. If they don't, you ask them what are their purposes here. Many here just want to talk and do this for entertainment purposes, and I'm not here to entertain.

Imthatgirl1122 42F
1835 posts
6/6/2019 3:19 pm

 my grammar also fucked up
but at least I never lazy to read


whoisagentj replies on 6/6/2019 6:18 pm:
Hon, your grammar might need a bit of work, but you are a great person. And when are you taking your vacation to Chicago to see me?

Heathen_G 65M
7974 posts
6/6/2019 2:43 pm
    Quoting redrockrascal:
    FWIW, here are a few things I try to do in messaging a woman here. But, keep in mind not all women are the same.

    Keep the initial messages to a "reasonable" length. You don't have to explain in detail, in a message, everything. The same goes for your profile. Reason being you want to get someon'e interest but also leave something to talk about if/when you do meet.

    Diving into meeting in the first message generally isn't going to get you to the meeting. "Ideally" let what you say interest her enough to propose moving to the next phase, talking off site (email or text), then comes phone (voice NOT text. Then you "properly" ask a woman out on the phone if the flow / chemistry is there.
talking off site (email or text), then comes phone (voice NOT text. Then you "properly" ask a woman out on the phone if the flow / chemistry is there...... No... Absolutely not.... big waste of time, and a dead end.

The idea is to meet the woman, not never meet her.

You had her interest online.... you immediately move from online to offline, at some location in person.

Otherwise, if you don't move it.... she has no real incentive to meet you!!

You're texting, you're talking on the phone.... your dick is no where near her....you're giving her attention... she now has no incentive to meet you.


whoisagentj replies on 6/6/2019 6:17 pm:
Well, you and I are on the same wavelength here. The problem was I talked too much and should have just asked where and when did she want to meet.

Heathen_G 65M
7974 posts
6/6/2019 2:33 pm

 Would you be willing to meet up sometime this week so we could talk and see if we click?....... That was the invitation..... that requires only a "Yes, when and where" or "No"

Her response: thanks for the message J ... my name is P.... i will love to know more about you and also meet you if possible

All you now needed to say was, when and where you'll be today or tomorrow, and how she can spot you.

you just wrecked it this time with spilling all that "Girl be gone drama" on her..


whoisagentj replies on 6/6/2019 6:16 pm:
I think that might have been my mistake. She asked to know more about me and I took that as an invitation to talk more, which I just should have asked "Fine, where and when do you want to me?"

redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
6/6/2019 1:02 pm

 FWIW, here are a few things I try to do in messaging a woman here. But, keep in mind not all women are the same.

Keep the initial messages to a "reasonable" length. You don't have to explain in detail, in a message, everything. The same goes for your profile. Reason being you want to get someon'e interest but also leave something to talk about if/when you do meet.

Diving into meeting in the first message generally isn't going to get you to the meeting. "Ideally" let what you say interest her enough to propose moving to the next phase, talking off site (email or text), then comes phone (voice NOT text. Then you "properly" ask a woman out on the phone if the flow / chemistry is there.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


whoisagentj replies on 6/6/2019 1:16 pm:
So you're saying I might have overkilled her with info then? I was thinking that, but I wasn't sure. I tried to keep that message at a reasonable length. And it's possible I was over-explaining myself as you said. However that's not one of my strong points.

bilaan63 73M
Ask me for a photo

6/6/2019 12:28 pm
    Quoting bilaan63:
    ask her a few simple questions- 4 or 5 and see if she answers all of them- also the key word lazy- if she is to lazy to read what you wrote- she most likely will be lazy in most other things- as far as intelligent people that depends on what you consider intelligent? (no insult intended)- research essaic tea(Ojibway tea of life) it killed my colon cancer- prayers to your mom
it's up to her to drink it- she prob feels very crappy if she is taking chemo- good luck


whoisagentj replies on 6/6/2019 1:13 pm:
Yeah, the chemo is making her extremely crappy and crabby. I'm doing what I can to help her out.

bilaan63 73M
Ask me for a photo

6/6/2019 12:13 pm

 ask her a few simple questions- 4 or 5 and see if she answers all of them- also the key word lazy- if she is to lazy to read what you wrote- she most likely will be lazy in most other things- as far as intelligent people that depends on what you consider intelligent? (no insult intended)- research essaic tea(Ojibway tea of life) it killed my colon cancer- prayers to your mom


whoisagentj replies on 6/6/2019 12:23 pm:
Thanks bilaan. I've been trying to get my mom to drink that tea, but she's stubborn. I've already shown it to her a couple of times and she keeps saying the tea won't help her. She's gotten very negative.

whoisagentj replies on 6/6/2019 12:24 pm:
And I'll give this a shot on asking her some questions and see if that works.

C8998063 39M
81 posts
6/6/2019 12:03 pm

 Hello


whoisagentj replies on 6/6/2019 12:23 pm:
Ummm, hello back?

whoisagentj 54M
6060 posts
6/6/2019 11:33 am

 Seriously, this is why guys get frazzled when it comes to stuff like this. I don't want to say all women do this, because they don't, but have people become so lazy that they don't want to read or talk to intelligent people?
Who can you call on to save the day?

Why none other than...

Agent


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