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Diary of a snow shoveler
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Diary of a snow shoveler Dear Diary Aug. 12 - Moved to our new home in Alaska. I am so excited. It's so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. Oct. 14 - Alaska -- it is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here! Nov. 11 - Remembrance Day. Deer season starts soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it snows soon. I love it here! Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). When the snow plow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Alaska! Dec. 12 - More snow last night. The snow plow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here. Dec. 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. It's beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shoveling. fucking snow plow. Dec. 22 - More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands and a sore back from shoveling. I think the snow plow hides around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole. Dec. 25 - Merry fucking Christmas! More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on the sonovabitch who drives the snow plow, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the fucking ice. Dec. 27 - More white shit last night. Been inside for three days now except for shoveling out the driveway after that snow plow goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, the car's stuck in a mountain of white crap and it is so frigging cold. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the crap again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is? Dec. 28 - That fucking weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of the crap this time. At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snow plow got stuck up in the road and that bastard came to my door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him that I had already broken six shovels shoveling out all the crap he had pushed into my driveway, I damn near broke my last one over his fucking head. Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on my way back a damned deer ran in front of the car. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those beasts should be killed. The bastards are everywhere. Wish the hunters had exterminated them all last November. May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusted out from all that salt they put all over the roads. May 10 - Moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in such a God forsaken place as Alaska! |
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I was laughing as I read this post. I've lived in Alaska. I've shoveled a lot of snow. Never had a problem with the deer....it was the moose. During the winter the damn things were everywhere! At least I never hit one. I was glad to see the snow gone in May..... It's beautiful country...very unforgiving. Pagan  Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!
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LOL..that was great..tnx for the laugh.. ..enjoy your weekend..
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