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| Blogs > rm_loveslilies > a Garden of Temptation |
Rattled my chains
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Rattled my chains I awoke today with a sigh then said to to myself thanks goodness it's friday. Of course I have overslept again.. but today I am not going to kick myself in the butt for it cause I must of needed it. Puppy messes have been cleaned (oh that was nasty) I made a double batch of chili yesterday so no cooking required and not much housework to do so, I finally have some time to myself. In the past I have often wrote about my eldest and his challenges in life but rarely have I written about my other boy. That is because there use to be no drama when it came to him. that is until a couple of months ago. He became defiant rebellious stated fluking most classes and was so disrespectful that it broke my heart. I know being a is hard but this was going way above and beyond that.. it was drugs, still could be. As I typed that I still shake my head in disbelief but it is true. I found drugs in his room. I still struggle to grasp that after loosing his Uncles to drug use that he will even go near them.. Hell he helped carry the coffin of my baby brother.. We have talked cried argued made some head way about things but he still refuses to see the danger in even smoking alittle weed. I know he is depressed and has quite a bit of unresolved fear of me dying and probably himself, we all know where this comes from but that is a blog unto itself.. He wrote me a letter that made all of this very clear. In this letter asked me to allow him to smoke at home !! You have no idea how much this blew me away !! Still does.. Of course I said no !! and man did he react badly to that.. He said he feels uncomfortable around me since I will not allow him to be who he is so he stays in his room.. He had started doing this a few months back it was one of the sign that something was wrong... Trust me I know marijuana is prescribed for depression and anxiety but it is not legal in the state I live and no way in hell I would ever allow it to go on in my house so he must of been in an environment where this type of shit goes on, but for the life of me I can not figure out what friend it is.. I know making marijuana legal is a political debate which stirs up alot of controversy.. I am on the fence about it myself. I only bring it up to explain my situation , my feels it should be legal. I told him there was legal medicine that he can take to help him with his depression and his rebuttal was Oh so you wont let me smoke mainly because I can become addicted but you want ,me to get addicted to some manufactured pill instead, this makes no sense to me. Ugh smart are a pain in the ass sometimes. I told the big difference is those manufactured pills are legal if they are prescribed to you.. Of course this got me nowhere..and the fact they don't prescribe marijuana to minors. So now ya know what is up in my life. All of this rattled my chains because of what killed my brothers.. I have gotten it straightened out in my mind and heart as much as I can, but in all honesty I worry each and every time he leaves my house so much more than I use to.. I have left alot of details I now, they will more than likely show up in future blogs no doubt.. any insight is welcomed ! much love 
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very nice flours you are a sexy lady summer is all most here
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Unfortunately, it's sometimes very difficult to convey hard-learned lessons to others, especially younger people and even more specifically to a son or daughter. Falling back on the old it's my roof and as long as you're living under it canard seems to elicit the exact opposite of the intended effect, virtually every time. Parenting IS tough that's for sure. All you can do is love them, make sure you're there to support them when they need it and continue hoping they 'get it' sometime sooner rather than later...  -tm
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I've had to deal with some of these same issues in both my personal life as well as with family members. The best advice I can offer is to rely on love and understanding and not be affraid to put your foot in thier ass when they need it. Take some time to educate yourself and be prepaired for the tears and heartache that will follow, it's my hope that as time goes on you can look back at this and know that you did the right thing and it was only just a phase. some times the things that comes from between my ears makes me pause for reflection
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Thank you for sharing something that must have been so difficult to write. Keep putting your foot down regarding your son, it may take time, but he will thank you for it in the end.
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I am short on insight but long on support. As the parent of a teenager I can attest to the difficulty of the experience. I know this sounds ridiculous given how much they fight it, but they do hear what parent say. If the message is delivered from a place of love, kids know that no matter how much they disagree. My grandfather use to say that there are somethings you can only learn on your own skin (it sounds better in Spanish). You teach, you can argue, you can plead, you can demand, you can forbid, but in the end only he can decide. This fact has chilled parental hearts for millennia, but it is inescapable. While he may not like the answer, he know what the right answer is - trust him to accept the answer when he is ready to internalize it. “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde
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It is unfortunate that now days, most young people think they know it all and us parents are wanting them to live in the by gone years we grew up in. It is rough for you as a parent, and am sure to some extent, rough on the son. You can only stand by him and attempt to guide him away from those habits, but he must make the decision to put away those habits and do differently. Our prayers will be with both of you that things work out for the best interest of both of you.
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hi Lily parents to be,is a difficult and responsible task in life.^    WELCOME ON MY BLOG [blog bengl66]
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Children can be a terrible burden for those of us who try to guide them at this crazy time in history. But, I suppose EVERY time in history has seemed to be crazy. I drank alcohol heavily many years ago, and was also addicted to cigarettes. Fortunately I've always thought of my body as a gift that should be cherished and taken care of, and was able to give up the booze and cigarettes. I know many people who use weed. I myself don't use anything including the things given by M.D.'s. Good luck to you with this child. You can hope that he'll grow out of this phase and return to the child you knew a couple of years ago...xxxdavid 
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Don't get me started on the illegal drugs. They are a particular pet peeve of mine. I know it's considered a lesser drug, but there are more side effects then people care to admit because of the social acceptance of it. Sure it wont kill you (as far as we know, I guess you can never talk in absolutes). But that doesn't make it a free high, or good drug. Ok I'll stop now before the rant really gets going. But then I'm also a person that wouldn't want to take the prescribed pills either. I don't like taking anything I can avoid.
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The lad has decided that he should be allowed to smoke matijuana in the house. I'll have to agree with others, if you want something to take place in your home, than it shouldn't. Your house your rules, hypocracy be damned, for when he brings it up. I wouldn't advise arguing with him, jpersonally I would say I really don't care what you think, every time the subject comes up. Good luck, I have a feeling you're going to need it.
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 "A full blown basket of hash browns with a steaming cup of 'WTF?" on the side" Enter my Lair: spudsy1000
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very nice flours you are a sexy lady summer is all most here
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Unfortunately, it's sometimes very difficult to convey hard-learned lessons to others, especially younger people and even more specifically to a son or daughter. Falling back on the old it's my roof and as long as you're living under it canard seems to elicit the exact opposite of the intended effect, virtually every time. Parenting IS tough that's for sure. All you can do is love them, make sure you're there to support them when they need it and continue hoping they 'get it' sometime sooner rather than later... -tmthanks for your insight Tazz
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I've had to deal with some of these same issues in both my personal life as well as with family members. The best advice I can offer is to rely on love and understanding and not be affraid to put your foot in thier ass when they need it. Take some time to educate yourself and be prepaired for the tears and heartache that will follow, it's my hope that as time goes on you can look back at this and know that you did the right thing and it was only just a phase. I pray that this is only a phase.. life lessons..
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Thank you for sharing something that must have been so difficult to write. Keep putting your foot down regarding your son, it may take time, but he will thank you for it in the end.
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I am short on insight but long on support. As the parent of a teenager I can attest to the difficulty of the experience. I know this sounds ridiculous given how much they fight it, but they do hear what parent say. If the message is delivered from a place of love, kids know that no matter how much they disagree. My grandfather use to say that there are somethings you can only learn on your own skin (it sounds better in Spanish). You teach, you can argue, you can plead, you can demand, you can forbid, but in the end only he can decide. This fact has chilled parental hearts for millennia, but it is inescapable. While he may not like the answer, he know what the right answer is - trust him to accept the answer when he is ready to internalize it. 
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It is unfortunate that now days, most young people think they know it all and us parents are wanting them to live in the by gone years we grew up in. It is rough for you as a parent, and am sure to some extent, rough on the son. You can only stand by him and attempt to guide him away from those habits, but he must make the decision to put away those habits and do differently. Our prayers will be with both of you that things work out for the best interest of both of you.
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hi Lily parents to be,is a difficult and responsible task in life.^ it represnts hope ya know !
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I know Emi 
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Children can be a terrible burden for those of us who try to guide them at this crazy time in history. But, I suppose EVERY time in history has seemed to be crazy. I drank alcohol heavily many years ago, and was also addicted to cigarettes. Fortunately I've always thought of my body as a gift that should be cherished and taken care of, and was able to give up the booze and cigarettes. I know many people who use weed. I myself don't use anything including the things given by M.D.'s. Good luck to you with this child. You can hope that he'll grow out of this phase and return to the child you knew a couple of years ago...xxxdavid
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Don't get me started on the illegal drugs. They are a particular pet peeve of mine. I know it's considered a lesser drug, but there are more side effects then people care to admit because of the social acceptance of it. Sure it wont kill you (as far as we know, I guess you can never talk in absolutes). But that doesn't make it a free high, or good drug. Ok I'll stop now before the rant really gets going. But then I'm also a person that wouldn't want to take the prescribed pills either. I don't like taking anything I can avoid.
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you made me think about the light at the end ofthe tunnel, I almost managed to see it ! He refuses counsling, so we are not going that route right now but in the future that could change !
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The lad has decided that he should be allowed to smoke matijuana in the house. I'll have to agree with others, if you want something to take place in your home, than it shouldn't. Your house your rules, hypocracy be damned, for when he brings it up. I wouldn't advise arguing with him, jpersonally I would say I really don't care what you think, every time the subject comes up. Good luck, I have a feeling you're going to need it.
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ty !
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