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Sexy Nervous
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Sexy Nervous I admitted she made me feel nervous. Younger women don't necessarily know what that means, but over thirty-five or forty you might just as well say, "you are gorgeous and I think I might be falling in love with you." I mean, I am reasonably confident in most situations. I know what I am good and bad at and mostly what my faults are. But I still suffer, occasionally, from that lovely feeling of being a bit tongue-tied when I am faced with someone I am instantly attracted to. When I was younger I hated it, but now it feels good in a breathless kind of way. Even more exciting is when I can tell she feels nervous too. But there is a special quality to it. It doesn't happen every time I fancy someone. I can't quite put my finger on it - maybe someone reading this can describe it better than I can, but it has to do with the level of instant connection and the amount of sex in the attraction I think. Her name was Emily Gainsborough, but sadly, I was just dreaming again. I had been out for coffee in Oxford with my niece. (Don't ask me why Oxford, I don't go there very often, although it is a town I know quite well. ) Anyway, I suddenly realised I had to go to a business meeting, which, incidentally turned out to be in a big modern office building in London, a short walk sixty miles away. (it's a dream remember.) So I realise I am A ) late, and B ) wearing very casual clothes rather than a business suit. There isn't time to change, so I decide I can wing it, explaining that I had to meet my niece and didn't have time to change. (! ) I walk up to reception, tell them I am here to see Emily Gainsborough, (? ) and they tell me to take a seat. I am still waiting when a Lady Gaga sort of woman breezes through, singing. Her name is River Punk apparently. Clearly this is a diversion, and anyway before I can wonder what she is doing in a big London lawyer's office, another absolutely stunning woman walks in. Late thirties, dark hair tied back in a sort of loose pony tail, tight A-line drop-dead-red skirt just above the knee. I can't help staring. She looks at me and stares too, saying nothing. I say, "You can't possibly be the person I am meeting?" "Try me." "Emily Gainsborough?" "You must be Dreamer." Long silence. "I'm so sorry I'm not properly dressed, " I say, thinking: properly dressed, you total idiot. "I had to meet my niece and I haven't had time to change. " That sounds worse! But then, she says something stupid too, (I can't remember what ) and I realise she is also tongue tied. "I'm sorry, you are making me nervous, " I admit, because I know she will know what I mean. "Me too." What a rush. The dream carries on, gradually descending into eroticism. But, as with so many of mine, the key is that deeper interconnection of minds. Okay, as well as her fantastic body. We decided to get the business out of the way quickly and then go out for lunch. The rest is bedroom certified. I know I know, my dreams sound ridiculously vivid, but that was really what it was like. And I woke up realising that the nervous feeling you get when you like someone enough to worry about saying the wrong thing is actually quite rare, and worth savouring. It's also the most delightful give away, but without having to risk any awkward rejection either way. |
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By the way, I oogled Emily Gainsborough, lol, and I didn't find anyone by that name who fits the description!
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That's a really great observation Wildfire, I hadn't thought of it that way. I am not normally aware of my fear of rejection being all that bad - no worse than most peoples. But I do crave understanding, and I am aware that many of my friends, and certainly some people who know me less well think I am a bit different from most other people, so maybe there was something relevant in the fear of not being correctly dressed in the dream. In real life I hate dress codes, and usually go to any event in jeans and a rugby shirt whatever, on the basis that people know that is how I dress - if they didn't want that then they shouldn't have invited me! do normally make an exception for business though, as I feel more professional wearing a suit. I think I would be really properly nervous if I was meeting you Wild......
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