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Good grief more Satan's boners
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Good grief more Satan's boners I was talking to a lady on here the other day (hard to beleive I know) and at some point she mentioned that she was a member of the Church of Satan . At first I thought that was a pretty funny joke , but then she starting talking about how she wanted to be in a 12-step program but she couldn't accept god as her savior and whatnot . I tried to tell her that the first step is just admitting that there is a higher power and that could be Satan , but she wasn't buying what I was selling . I made some crack about her luring me into being sacrificed with promises of sex and she got really irritied and started ranting about how that's not what Satanisn is all about . I'm sure we'll be hooking up real soon . But it got me to thinking about Satan . People say that his best trick was getting people to beleive that he doesn't exist , but I take issue with that . I think the best thing Satan ever did was this whole hope concept . Think about it , there I was chatting with a devil-worshipping and hoping against hope that I was going to get to have sex - even though all the evidence out there proves conclusively that I'll never have sex ever again without money changing hands . Hope is terrible - perhaps the worst thing in the world . It makes you think things will get better - and they won't . That's a fact . No one in the world ever gets what they want , everybody dies frustrated and sad . Which you know , is fine and all because fulfillment is really so over , but that damn hope keeps rearing its ugly head . My advice to you (FYI you shouldn't take advice from me) is banish hope from your life - you'll be that much happier for it . But turning away from matters of the faith , here's what's been going on in my in-box this week . I got a message from a homosexual individual for the 2nd time in my short Polyamory Date life . And I have to wonder , why me ? I'm not nearly in good enough shape to be gay - not even close . I can barely bench 200 , that's not even near the gay requirement . Plus its not like I'm good looking in the traditional sense - or in any other sense for that matter . So the only thing I can figure is that I somehow look like I'd be good at oral sex . Which is good to know , because now I'll try twice as hard to stay out of prison . For the record though in a perfect world I think everyone should be gay - now that's what I call population control . PLus I think a lot of the world's problems stem from the whole man-woman thing . I think God really screwed up with that one - or maybe Satan had a hand in it too . Actually in a REALLY perfect world all the men would be gay but me and all the hot women would be straight while the rest were gay . Damn you hope - stop tormenting me ! And finally we end with a few of the messages I've received about my blog . sexyshooter06 from Texas writes "Your blog is stupid" Thank you for noticing shooter , it sure is . But you'e missed the broader point in all of this . Its not that just my blog is stupid - all blogs are stupid (except for the Cliticals one) . Not only that , but every form of self-expression ever is stupid . Especially poems . Especially poems in blogs . Like this one right here . "I can't hide from my mind and you know why I try , try , try but I can hide from my mind ." See , pure stupidity . petalsfromheaven in Georgia writes "You're ugly deuce" You bet your sweet ass petals . I'm easily the ugliest man in 10 countries (try and guess which ten) . I used to be less ugly , but I've been steadily gaining weight and its really helping me move up the rankings . And let me tell you its hard damn work being this ugly . But its really worth it in the end . Women ignore you , men mock you - its all good . Thanks for writing petals . sbftam26 also from Georgia writes "Why did I read this ?" I don't know . I know I wouldn't read it I were you - or anyone else for that matter . Wait , I am someone else . Hmm . Anyway what the hell does your handle even mean ? Single blonde female teacher amazon mother ? Is that like a milf ? Or a milfbrisrss (mom I'd like to fuck but really I should report to social services) ? Help me out here lady . Well that's all the time we have today see you next time on the Carmen Electra Show with Carmen Electra featuring Carmen Electra . Next weeks guest , Carmen Electra . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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7/2/2006 9:00 am |
Here's one to add to your files: You're funny Deuce           
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By funny you mean well-endowed right ? Well endowed with humor . Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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