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You bet Jill Masterson's gold ass !
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You bet Jill Masterson's gold ass ! I need to start saying that more so it will catch on and enter the common parlance . Some people say it's too wordy for today's usage but they said the same thing about "sweet sassy molassy" and now you hear that everywhere . Variations are also welcome , such as ; "Did you get those tier 2 server queries set up ?" "Does Jill Masterson have a gold ass ?" I am often mocked in in the Polyamory Date community for my lack of "fetishes" or "kinks" or "freakations" and I used to be like "I like anal . . . . . " and they would just laugh more and throw nipple clamps at my eyes and say "Anal is vanilla and has been for years ! My grandparents do anal ALL the time !" But finally I can become part of the community (and learning nothing from my experience torment others because of peer pressure) because clearly my fetish is for gold body paint . I mean gold skin would be better but until we meet some kind of aliens that doesn't seem to be on the menu . If you'll remember my review of Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (and how could you forget it ? ) you'll recall that I was highly disappointed but I did comment that I liked the look of those gold people . Seeing Goldfinger has sealed the deal . My official fetish is now that I only want to<b> bang </font></b>if you're painted gold (or actually are gold but see above) .  And the best part is as they proved on Mythbusters it won't kill you . I mean not immediately by suffocation like they thought anyway , the paint probably is toxic and you'll die later from that . When I was young and stupid (instead of just stupid like now) I assumed that my lack of kinks would make me more appealing to the opposite sex because they wouldn't have to conform to whatever dumb thing turned me on . How wrong I was . Women hate vanilla sex . It has to be really debased for them to feel anything . And even then it's barely anything . I hear this is what all the ladies are into now ;  Speaking of , there's another 50 shades movie coming out (who knew there was more than one) and I love it because when one of those movies comes out it always prompts the "real" BDSM people to rail against "posers" . I don't know why I get joy out of that but I do . Probably because I'm a fundamentally unpleasant person . At work today (because the office shut down because of the mega-death snowstorm) We got a long and very detailed notice from the FBI about how to handle "sextortion" which I had never heard of before . Apparently the scam is you get some dude to cam and you just play a clip of a hot chick doing cam stuff and you get said dude to jerk off on his cam and then you take that and blackmail them . The only conclusion I can draw is that this happened to someone in the company because why else would the FBI be talking to us about it ? Anyway , watch out for that I guess . Speaking of I have never liked the term "self-abuse" partially because people use it redundantly which annoys me ; "Ever since grandpa moved in I've walked in on him self-abusing himself to anal videos like every week" But that's not the reason I don't like it . I just realized yesterday what my problem with the term is - if masturbation is self abuse that means that sex is abuse . Which I hope isn't true . Now for the questions (which should give you some idea to what my weekend was like) . If you have the stomach flu and you go to the grocery store and you puke all over the tomatoes do you then have to buy all those tomatoes ? If they just washed them off and sold them what crime have they committed ? And what if they're like heirloom , fair trade , organic , locally sourced , sustainable , free range , whatever other bullshit tomatoes so they're like $10 a piece do you still have to pay for them even though that price is insane and no one would have bought them even if you didn't vomit norovirus on them ? And what if you decided that having the Norwalk Vomiting Disease is the perfect time to shop for an engagement ring and when they bring out the rings you blow chunks all over them ? Surely they can't make you buy tens of thousands of dollars of rings can they ? But just as surely no one wants to buy a puke ring . Also can viruses live on diamonds ? Also a while ago some researchers in China thought they found something harder than diamond but then everyone else was like "nah" so diamond is still the hardest thing . Besides my dick . Now , what if instead of the stomach flu you have ebola or something of that nature and you puke your deadly germs on the diamonds ? Then you'd have to be on the hook for the cost of the merchandise right ? At what point in the future will medical technology advance to the point where you can trace viruses back to the source and hold people responsible ? And when we reach that point what should the laws be ? If you're able to quarantine everyone when you're able do your employers have to pay you if you can't work from home ? If they don't does the government kick in some money or are you just fucked ? How much value do we get out of reducing sickness ? Is it worth quarantining people for 15 days a pop every time they have a cold ? Did you know a quarter of a million people die from norovirus ever year ? I didn't . That's a lot of people . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Those gold people are the "Sovereign" but I won't get all bent out of shape if you don't know that because I'm not uptight like BDSM people Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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Oh great. Just as I satisfy your Lucha Libra fetish, you have to go and change fetishes ( fetishi? ) Well, my gold status here is as gold as I'm going, buster! btw - people who have the puking-flu are usually in the soup aisle. Those cans clean up easily. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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For what it's worth here's my favorite 50 shades meme: [image] Goddamn poseurs.   
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i'm still stuck on the vomit issue. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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