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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
They're going ass to mouth and puking out their dicks !
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They're going ass to mouth and puking out their dicks ! That's what a dude said about millennials today in disgust . Not sure exactly what he meant but I have to say old men complaining about young people sure has changed from the days of "Get off my lawn !" Isn't it funny how when you single all you see is couples and when you're part of a couple all you see is implements with which you could bludgeon yourself to death ? In completely unrelated news Matchboobs and I were hanging (and not banging) at my dumb house and we were doing whatever on the COMPUTER and she noticed in my internet history the websites Brazzers and Pornhub , which you may or may not know are repositories of the classiest erotica available to mankind today . So she asked me what they were . Sidenote , do you really think she didn't know or was she seeing if I would try to lie about it ? Women are crafty like that ya know . So I says to her I says "Those are porn sites , you go there to watch people bang ." So then she asked me why I would visit porn sites when I had said that I don't have very much of a sex drive . And I go "Sex and masturbation really don't have anything to do each other ." Which is a statement I stand behind - I don't think jerking off is any more like sex than watching basketball is like playing basketball . They're somewhat related obviously but I wouldn't put them in the same genre . Unless that genre is things you shouldn't do at the post office . They say being in a relationship is healthy but I can't see how . When you're in a relationship you eat more , exercise less , sleep less and have more stress - what's the healthy part ? I guess you occasionally might get to have sex which is supposedly healthy aside from all the herpes . I don't see how that's a net gain though . One of the knife and fork operators at work asked me how to dump a girl without being honest and just saying he didn't want to see her anymore . So I advised that he just start asking for anal sex all the time . And he asked "What if she's into it ?" and I says to him I says "Then why would you want to break up with her ?"  Classic guy line . So then I told him he should say that's got an STD but he didn't want to do that either . People are weird - if you're dumping someone why would you care what they think about you ? Later that same day some of the drain donors are work were talking about suppressing erections (because that's the kind of thing you talk about at work right) and different techniques for doing so . I wasn't participating , because why would I , so Ugly Johnny asks me what I do to kill an erection and I say that I've never tried and everyone freaked out and started asking about all the "embarrassing" times to get an erection . And I said "I think you're wildly overestimated the amount of time people spend examining your crotch ." How would anyone even notice your erection ? I don't know about you but I wear pants (grudgingly) . And basically pants make it look like you have an erection every time you sit down anyway . Also even if someone did notice what do you think is going to happen ? They're going to point and shout to everyone that you've got an erection ?  Also I'm almost 40 , I spend my energy trying to GET erections you know ? When time travel first came around it was a real mess . People skipped over weeks just because they weren't interested in them ; they dropped iPods in the 19th century just to see what would happen ; and some jokester<b> traveled </font></b>to the beginning of Time and tried to convince God that life would be a lot funnier if he made two genders with completely different priorities . So we had to come up with a few basic rules which are as follows ; It is poor form to travel through time to witness a historical event . Imagine , if you will , being a major historical figure who has a hundred people show up just to watch you get shot in the back of the head . Yes , you can go back and become your own grandfather , but this gets awkward when going through the family photos years later . If you time it just right , you can go back and meet yourself . But you're not that interesting to talk to in the first place . Preventing yourself from being born is horribly impolite . Elvis is dead . You don't need to check . It is rude to inform your best friend how he or she is to die , even if you say "spoiler" first . If you accidentally step on a butterfly while visiting the Jurassic era , you must immediately travel back a little further and step on the butterfly's grandfather . This will prevent the butterfly from ever existing , and thus from being stepped on by you . Paradox averted . Sadly , time tourists hardly visit the 21st century , primarily because nothing interesting happened in it . Cancer isn't due to be cured until the 23rd , and politics won't make any sense again until the 28th . Anyone hoping to hitchhike will have to wait at least a good century , by which point they'll probably be complaining about the future not being the past despite this being a logical improbability . You know in that Dear Liza/Henry/Bucket song I always thought Liza seemed liked kind of a bitch , but now as an adult it makes more sense me because clearly she's tired of having to explain every little thing to his Henry fellow . You'd be annoyed too if you had to explain to someone how to fix a bucket , I mean that's just common sense . Clearly Henry is a moron and if we've learned anything it's that it's okay to treat stupid people badly , which is paradoxically people stupid people need the most help . Remember the time Smoochie drilled a hole in a bucket and then tried to fuck it and then got his dick caught in said buckethole and then Endo kicked the bucket off and it tore a bunch of skin off his junk and he had to go to the hospital and there was cock blood everywhere ? I do . I think that's the main difference between men and women , women don't fuck buckets, like ever . Women get a raw deal mostly , I stipulate that , but there are some advantages . Such as sexting . A lot more choices for a woman . As a dude if a lady asks you to sext her a sexy sext sex picture you really only have one choice . I mean I guess if you're in good shape you could just do a shirtless deal but you aren't . All you've got is the dick and you can't even snap a pic of it as is , you wants to see a flaccid floppy wiener ? Sickos , that's who . So first you got to get hard , which is like a whole ordeal . Of course a lady would never ask for that so perhaps it's a moot point . Or a mute point as my dumb boss says . No matter how many times I correct him . I generally try not to discuss heavy real life stuff on my blog because who wants to read that ? But I'm going to say this . I went to visit my uncle last weekend and it was super depressing . He's been battling cancer for a while now and this was the first time he really looked weak and sick . Which was bad enough but always before he's had the attitude that he's going to beat it and had a really strong personal faith but this time I could tell he's doubting everything . I don't know if I believe in God and Jesus or what but nevertheless it's sad to me when someone who truly believes loses their faith - and there aren't many true believers out there if you ask me . This is a real insight on my part , cancer sucks , but it really does take everything away from you because it's such a slow process sometimes that lasts for years . Like if you find out that you're going to die in a few weeks I can see you accepting that as God's will . But if you're going to just get weaker and weaker and feel like shit all the time for 2-5 years and have everyone pity you all the time how can your faith survive that ? Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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TL DR Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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i agrre
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goos story
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I can't imagine that she didn't have SOME idea of what a site called PornHub is about. I give her some credit for bringing it up though. I imagine if I were looking at a dude's computer with him and saw something like that, I'd embarrassedly ignore it. Kind of like when a condom falls out of a guy's wallet. Agreed on losing faith - I think if I got cancer and some religious person tried to pass off some nonsense on me about "It's all part of God's plan" or "god doesn't give us burdens unless he knows we can handle them" - I would smack them in the face.   
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I agree, sex and masturbation are two different things. You can be in the mood for one and not the other. Hiding unwanted erections is mostly a younger person's problem. It happen quite a lot as a kid.
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Advantage to being in a relationship (specifically married): Sex without condoms.
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I'm curious if she had any opinion/reply on your observation about sex and masturbation.  I agree that cancer sucks, whether it's fast or slow there isn't much good about it. I wonder why some women don't remove the labels on their sexy undies if they are going to show? Vive La Difference
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I had to laugh at the guy that won't fake an STD ... harhar. I have older women that would get their annual well woman exam covered by Medicare if they would just tell the doctor that they've had more than 6 sexual partners in their lifetime. "oh no! I couldn't say that!" I'm sorry about your uncle. Tough for him and those that care about him, too. I volunteer to flash him my boobs if it'll make him feel a little better. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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women talk about boobs a lot but it seems we talk about sex less than guys do. overall. i'm real sorry about your uncle. I don't know that faith helps much with certain things. I kind of ride the fence there. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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