Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

Chapter 18 - The last pimpmobile out of Lawrence Kansas  

40Deuce 46M
4635 posts
2/11/2017 9:55 am

Last Read:
2/12/2017 10:15 am

Chapter 18 - The last pimpmobile out of Lawrence Kansas


Atop the Oread Hotel building as the wind whips by like a swarm of angry locusts Sierra Starfall and Hulk Johnson fall into a breathless embrace as the fighting rages on the streets below . They hold each other close for precious moment , breathing in the intoxicating scent of one another – her of lilac and gunpowder and cinnamon , him of motor oil , cauliflower and thyme . Still clinging to one another like a barn cat to a dead catfish in raccoon territory they lock eyes – they know this is the last time they will ever see one another .

“We you able to disarm the bomb ?” Sierra asks in her slight Estonian accent , her voice heavy with unspoken desire .

Hulk winces and turns away for a moment , but must face the woman he loves . “No my little greater roadrunner I could not disarm the bomb , there were . . . like . . . a buncha wires .”

Sierra presses her face to his bare barrel-chest oozing with the sweat and blood of a day’s hard fighting on the corner of Iowa and Clinton Parkway , Naismith Drive and West 21st street and the awful battle at Higuchi Biomedical Research Center were so many good men and women sacrificed their lives for the cause . “Oh Hulk , take me with you , I love you , I love you like no woman as never loved a man before ! I love you like the sun loves the moon .”

Hulk pushes Sierra away slowly but firmly , she stumbles slightly but catches herself . He regards her wistfully . “Would that I could my little long nosed vine snake but I have to be on the last pimpmobile out of Lawrence Kansas and no force in the world can change that . If I were to stay we’d both regret it , like pretty much immediately you know . I mean technically there are two seats left on the last pimpmobile out of Lawrence Kansas but you know how I like to put my feet up on long<b> trips . . . . </font></b>so . . . . yeah .”

Sierra takes his head in her hands “But our love . . .”

He puts his hands to her lips , silencing her “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhut up . I love you Sierra Starfall , but it would never work . We’re just too different . It's wrong , Sierra Starfall . Oh , it would be sweet for a while but in the back of our minds we'd know that I'm a man who thinks astrology is bullshit but werewolves are real and you’re a woman who likes to throw rocks at crows .” He shakes his head sorrowfully “There’s just no way it can work . Which is why I must let you go like the barnacle lets go of a ship’s hull .

“But aren’t barnacles attached really firmly to . .”

Hulk turns away angrily “Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be ! “

Sierra takes his hand “I’m sorry Hulk , it’s just that I’m scared .”

Hulk gathers her in his arms again and looks out over the horizon “That’s natural at a time like this , I mean you’re about to die , like within the hour . What’s more based on some of the stuff we did you’re for sure going to hell . I mean the bukkake party alone . . . plus all that psychrophilia stuff , that was weird – that shit aint in the bible . When you get to hell watch out for you poopchute you know what I mean ?”

“I think that’s more for prison , and mainly men’s prison to boot .”

“Well I think most of the advice for prison probably applies to hell also . Like the first day freak out and attack the dude next to you – that way everyone will think you’re insane and won’t try to make you their bitch . Of course that can backfire because some people like their bitches crazy . It’s kind of a tricky area .”

“When we were together I felt crazy , like you could take me apart and put me back together again and again .”

Hulk glances at his watch “Yeah , totes . . . anywho I should probably be going . . .”

Sierra clings to him fiercely like a gibbon to a whack-whack tree . “The day you dismembered that Sumatran rhino with a machete I knew right then you were the only one for me ." Sierra grabs at his hand , kisses his palm and then pressed it flat against her heaving bosom . "Beatings , battles , fights . No matter how bleak the circumstance , no matter how my soul lain like lead in my chest this heart never once gave up . I've a thesis as to why. Do you want to hear it ?"

“Uh , I really need to bounce . . .”

"This heart is yours . It's yours . It always will be.”

“Sure baby , the thing is . . .”

At that moment Damon Retford the Twice Tempered Rouge appears on the rooftop of the Oread Hotel building , illuminated briefly by a fiery explosion on Indiana street , in his hand he clutches a cruel looking pistol of hard dark iron – the handle carved from the bones of a thousand emus . Sierra leaps in front of Hulk protectively .

“Damon Retford you of a vondrook !”

Damon walks towards them slowly , his wicked firearm never straying from pointing directly Sierra’s heart .

“After all we’ve shared , after all the things we accomplished you throw me over for THIS ! This pretty boy man- ! While he was off living it up in Louisville Kentucky enjoying an entirely different type of “Southern” from boundary pushing twists on Southern cuisine to the one and only Urban Bourbon Experience , featuring the world’s only citywide trail filled with award-winning micro-distilleries , exhibits and craft cocktail destinations to one-of-a-kind attractions like the legendary Churchill Downs , Louisville Slugger Museum & Factory , and the Muhammad Ali Center , I was HERE in Lawrence Kansas ! I was cleaning up the Haskell Baker Wetlands ! I was the one protecting the George and Annie Bell house ! I was the one working at the Pat Dawson Billing’s Nature Area ! While Hulk Johnson was off living it up at the Haymarket Whiskey Bar and Trixie’s Adult Entertainment Complex In Louisville I was HERE ! I was the one keeping everything together ! And this is how you do me !”

A tear streaks the soot on Sierra’s face “Damon , I never asked you . . .”

“No you never asked . But you were happy to let me play the fool weren’t you ? I was never anything more than I means to an end to you Sierra Starfall , I realize that now , and I hate myself for loving you – for even know I still love you .” Looking to Hulk “By now you’ve disarmed the bomb but . . .”

Hulk shakes his head “Actually no , I couldn’t disarm it .”

“Really ? It’s not very hard . All you had to do was . . .”

“I know how to disarm a bomb ! I disarm bombs all the time ! I just don’t make a big deal out of like SOME people .”

Sierra pats his shoulder encouragingly “I know you do baby , I believe you .”

Damon scratches his cheek with the barrel of his weapon “Well shit , I thought you would have disarmed the bomb . Yee . . . that’s kind of a problem for me . I had this whole plan . . .” He takes out his mobile and hits a few buttons , holding up for a second “Shoot , no signal . I gotta say you really screed the peach here buddy , I assumed you were going to disarm the bomb .

Hulk smiles “And that’s exactly why I didn’t .” Sierra beams up at him proudly .

Damon looks around at the carnage on the streets below “Damn , that means we’re all going to die .”

Hulk walks over to him and leans in slightly “Not necessarily , you see my friend the last pimpmobile out of Lawrence Kansas hasn’t left quite yet .”

“Really ?”

Hulk nods “Really , and there’s two seats left . You know what I’m saying ?”

Sierra steps between them “But I thought you said . . .”

Hulk pushes her out of the way gently “Shhhhhhhhhhhhut up my little Cuvier's dwarf caiman , the men are talking .”

Damon holsters his pistol “What’s the meal on the last pimpmobile out of Lawrence Kansas ?”

Hulk grins “Grilled cheese and flapjacks .”

Damon slaps his hands together “Hell yeah ! Let’s do this thing .”

As they shake hands and head off together Sierra calls after them forlornly “What about me ?”

Damon glances at Hulk “Time for a quick DP ?”

Hulk shakes his head “Nah , we got to get on the last pimpmobile out of Lawrence Kansas early or all the raspberries will be gone .” He turns and gives Sierra Starfall an enthusiastic thumbs up “You were great beautiful , keep it tight you know ? If you survive somehow text me , cool ?” Hulk whispers to Damon “If she makes it she’s going to get fat anyway , you know ?”

Damon nods “Yeah , you can totally tell that one’s that are going to pork out later in life .”

They walk off together into the night , sharing a laugh .

Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


wickedeasy 74F
32404 posts
2/11/2017 1:08 pm

dude, I would so read this book

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


40Deuce replies on 2/12/2017 10:16 am:
In print ? I doubt it , ebook perhaps

smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
2/11/2017 1:14 pm

Well! I sure hope Sierra gets her revenge in chapter 19.


40Deuce replies on 2/12/2017 10:18 am:
If we've learned nothing else from the Walking Dead , and we haven't , it's that what people like is for their characters to suffer endlessly and never succeed . I guess it makes them feel better about their own life ?

goodatpoetry2 74M
16552 posts
2/11/2017 2:17 pm

This was SO good!
Loved it!


40Deuce replies on 2/12/2017 10:18 am:
Thanks buddy

superbjversion2 69F  
24388 posts
2/11/2017 2:46 pm

If Herbert Hoover wrote romance novels, you'd be more famous, my rabid little red panda.

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


40Deuce replies on 2/12/2017 10:19 am:
Could I be more famous ?

Become a member to create a blog