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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Taste the cosmos
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Taste the cosmos Warning - this is wrestling one . I was joking around with someone at work today about ice cream the flavor of stars and I said their motto would be "Taste the Cosmos" you can't tell me that isn't an awesome slogan ! Speaking of did you know there's a world record for time travel ? I didn't . The current world record holder is Sergei Krikalev who by being in space for 800 days<b> traveled </font></b>20 nanoseconds into the future . Its a start ! And now for anyone who woke up today thinking "man , I could really use a in-depth analysis of women's wrestling" you're out of luck because this will be a fairly shallow analysis of women's wrestling . ROH had a Women of Honor show recently and some of it was on the TV and I checked some of it out online . It wasn't great , it wasn't horrible , but it wasn't great . They did they thing they often do where they throw a bunch of people into a 6 or 8 man (person) tag match which is always just filler . Which dudes its usually because they have people to use and nothing much to do with than and don't want to take up too much time but with the women its usually a way to protect them - in the sense that each woman can do the 2-3 moves she knows and bingo-bango you have a 6 minute match . Its a shitty match but its a match . It was odd to see women I've seen as announcers and valets and other "enhancement talent" get into the ring . Such Mandy Leon made her debut (at least in ROH) . It was decent but she had a bad case of "do a move , tuck my boobs back in , do a move , tuck my boobs back in" .  I've said before that one of the reasons for the generally crummy quality of women's wrestling is that the Venn diagram of women who are hot and women who want to get kicked in the face for a living is very small but watching this show made me think a little deeper on the subject . This applies only to the US of course , not Japan or Mexico where things seem to be fine . And there are exceptions of course , your Candace LaRaes and Sara Del Rays and Sasha Bankses and Baileys and whatnot . One problem is probably the training , in that most of these women were/are being trained by dudes . Which means a couple different things . First it means that you're being trained by someone who works a different style than you should be worker . This was mentioned on Total Divas RE Brian Kendrick training Eva Marie - he's a little dude (for wrestling) but he's still a million times stronger than Eva Marie so when they're in there training he's moving her around where she need to be rather than her learning how to move around the ring with another women who won't be able to do that . But even beyond that they're not leaning the moveset they need to be able to put together a good match . Because most of the throws and whatnot in order to be safe rely on a certain amount of strength . Such as if you're going to piledriver someone without killing them for realsies you need to be able to bare all their weight and the impact of hitting the mat - unless you do the Cactus Jack version which lets face looks like garbage . So a lot of the moves there's just no point in learning . And the other problem with dudes training women is that close to 100% of the time they don't really train them you know ? They try to protect them and if you really want to learn anything you're going to get banged around . It doesn't need to be as brutal as Gaea Girls or shit like that but while you're learning you're going to get busted in the chops every now and then . Which brings me to my next point if "power" moves are off the table what are you left with ? Dives , strikes and submissions - which is the way the industry is mostly going right now anyway , so it should be fine . But its not . Because most women have strikes that look like they couldn't break an egg . Why this is I don't know , but one possible insight came from a UFC fighter who's training to be a wrestler who's name I forget . She said that she wasn't worried about getting hit in the ring but that she was so afraid of hurting her opponent that she couldn't throw a decent looking strike . A UFC fighter said this . And I get it , the whole point of wrestling is to not hurt the person in the match with you , they're putting their body in your hands and you need to respectful of that but some of the strikes on that show were laughable . I'm the first one to say that wrestling has become too strike-heavy (thanks Stone Cold ! ) but regardless strikes are the glue that hold the whole thing together - otherwise you have a spotfest or a snoozefest . Without those fundamental building blocks its hard to put together a presentable match . And now , for dives and other high flying shenanigans . You'd see Gail Kim in the smaller venues and she had some really impressive aerial stuff - and then you'd see her in WWE and she'd botch every move off the ropes . Why ? Just because of the bigger ring ? I don't know . I've never seen a woman that had much to offer coming off the top (or even the middle rope) maybe a dropkick or a moonsault , that's about it . So all you're really left with his submissions - which I will admit is a pretty strong area in women's wrestling right now , but if that's all they have to build matches on it needs to be featured more prominently . Which brings me to my next point , in addition to the trainers mostly being dudes the agents are definitely going to be dudes - and they're going to put together the match the way they know how , which probably isn't going to work great because of the reasons outline above . They need to set up a different kind of match but most of then aren't going to bother because honestly they don't give a fuck . Most of them are old timers who don't even want women on the card . And my next reason is kind of counter-intuitive . Women have trouble getting over because they don't really get into the pageantry and showmanship of professional wrestling . Its funny , Betsy and I were at a show recently and she remarked to me that she didn't like the parts were they didn't fight and were just building their storylines she referred to it as "filler" , but that's how you can make it - especially if you're not the strongest performer in the ring . Look at the Rock - the dude was a mediocre wrestler at best but he went on to be a huge star because of a couple silly catch-phrases and raising his eyebrow . But most women barely even have a character or any personality at all . Quick tell me right now is Paige and Heel or Face ? You don't know because nobody knows - it changes basically nightly . This really struck me the first time Nikki Bella and Charlotte wrestled - they had a semi-good match but it was hard to get into because who was the heel ? Who was the face ? What was at stake ? Who were they ? And the answer seemed to be no one , nothing , and nobody . And it may be because they're not given a chance , but the only character that any woman seems to present is pretty bitch or not pretty (but really pretty) weirdo . And their weirdness is really only not being pretty (but really being pretty) . And promos , my god the promos . Can you name one gal who can cut even a decent promo ? I can't . Even Trish and Lita were at best okay "on the stick" . And I think the main reason for all of this is due to a lack of experience . If you're a woman breaking into the business how many bookings are you going to get ? Not a ton . Most shows don't even have women's matches and even if they do how much time are you going to get ? Not much . Melissa Anderson mentioned on a podcast I was listening to today that the first three years she was a wrestler she had maybe a dozen matches . You're not going to get better like that . Not to mention the pressure to just pick up bookings to be a manager which could lead to missing out on the few opportunities to wrestle . Wrestling is definitely something you have to learn by doing and if you can't wrestle you can't learn . So it becomes a catch 22 of sorts , you can't get booked if you're no good and you can't get good if you don't get booked . If anyone cared about this stuff they'd probably be saying "Man 40 , all you do is shit on women's wrestling" and maybe I do , but that's because I want it to be better . Akira Hokuto was one my favorite wrestlers of all time . I want American women's wrestling to be like that . Sidenote/endnote - I read a pretty convincing article that suggests that wrestling is so big in Japan and porn so rapey as a result of their military being take away after the second world war , so those are symptoms of a culture that can't display their manhood through military prowess . Don't know if I believe it , but its interesting nevertheless . And probably offensive to the no Japanese people that read this blog . Sorry Japanese people . I guess our porn is pretty messed up too . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Sounds like a new career path for me, after retirement. I can promo the hell out of everyone! Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Betsy calls it filler, I call it "boring posturing". I get it though, you have to establish who's an asshole and who's a hero.  
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