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Screenplay for Transformers 5 - The Transformenating by 40Deuce
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Screenplay for Transformers 5 - The Transformenating by 40Deuce The other day my sister went to see the movie Transformers 4 – The One with the Dinobots and said afterwards that it was “good” thereby bringing dishonor to our family name for seventeen generations . I will admit that I have never sat down and watched any of the Transformers movies , but I have watches bits and pieces of them on the TV and I can definitely say that they are terrible . Transformers 3 – The One where they go to the god damn Moon was the least terrible , probably because Megan Fox isn’t in it . Pictured below better  Regardless there’s no denying that Transformers is a money-making juggernaut so why not try to get in on the action ? I like money , sort of . So here’s my treatise for Transformers 5 and also Hot Tub Time Machine 4 as a fall-back . Cast ; Ewen McGregor as Shia LeBeouf Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as Megan Fox Adam Scott as the voice of Rad Starboom L’il Jon as the voice of Mantis Tankfist Barrack Obama as the voice of Optimus Prime 40Deuce as Ticket Boy Martha Stewart (when she was young and hot – use Hot Tub Time machine to get her to now) as Other Stripper Proposed budget – same as the GDP of Samoa (around 600 million) Exterior – Des Moines City street (cheaper location leaves more money for effects budget) Close up on a leather high heeled boot . As the camera pans up slowly we see a pair of HOT FEMALE legs leading up to a HOT FEMALE ASS (like all the best asses in the world had sex and this is their baby) leading all the way up to her HOT FEMALE back-of-head (for the people with back of head fetishes) and then the camera goes right back to her HOT FEMALE ASS . Close up on HOT FEMALE ASS as she walks . HOT FEMALE ASS swaggers and swivels all over the place . MYSTERIOUS VIXEN walks up to the tiekct line at a movie theater . Mysterious Vixen – One for Transformers 5 please (or Hot Tub Time Machine 4) Ticket Boy (frightened) – S-sure thing miss . . . MYSTERIOUS VIXEN walks off . Close up on the TICKET BOY masturbating furiously and crying (could be a ratings problem but integral to story) . Shot of the back of the head of MYSTERIOUS Vixen and this time she turns around showing her face – and she’s a robot ! Whoa , twist ! Opening credits roll over a montage of HOT FEMALE ROBOT ASS and TITS (like those James Bond things only better) instead of letters bending and contorting all over the place sexy like . And then they fucking explode ! Fade in – Interior , strip club A woman in a sexy bellhop outfit twirls around a stripper pole . Her HOT ASS and MAD TITS are like everywhere . She’s getting all SEXY and HOT and stuff as she dances . Guys clap when he finishes her dance – they go totally nuts ! When she bends down really low , all sexy like , to pick up her bellhop hat we see its MEGAN FOX . She goes backstage . Megan Fox – I can’t believe I had to turn to stripping to pay for my brother’s operation . If only the Transformers were still around . But they’re not . (tell the actress to emote like crazy here) Other Stripper (100% nude) – Good show out there Slutty McTits Megan Fox – My real name is Megan Fox , Slutty McTits is just my stage name . She punches out at the strip club and goes out the back door into an alley where there’s like this totally awesome sports car – SHIA LABEOUF leans against it all cool with some sunglasses on that are totally cool and everything . Shia LeBeouf (whipping the shades off) – Need a ride Slutty McTits . . . or should I say Megan Fox ?! Megan Fox (squealing and jumping up and down – her boobs flying everywhere also shot of butt) – My man is back for me ! I was helpless without you and had to turn to stripping to pay for my brother’s operation or something but now I can quit and go on adventures with you ! They both hop in the super cool car and go roaring off into traffic Tokyo Drifting all over the place like in that movie . Megan Fox – Where did you get this super cool car anyway ? Shia LaBeouf – Oh this ? This isn’t a car , it’s the new Transformer Rad Starboom ! Megan Fox – Yay ! (boobs bounce around) RAD STARBOOM suddenly turns into robot form sending MEGAN FOX and SHIA LABEOUF flying intot he air but it’s okay because RAD STARBOOM has skateboard legs and he catches them without missing a beat . Rad Starboom – Catch my drift ? They all laugh a lot – MEGAN FOX’s boobs bounce everywhere . Exterior – Saylorville Lake a battle is in full swing as we zoom in from way above – like maybe from space . Yeah , if we do that put in Megan Fox as SANDRA BULLOCK floating in space with her boobs going everywhere . Battling robots are all over the bridge . There is a police car that turns into a giant policeman and a jetski that turns into a shark and other awesome stuff as the camera pans down farther and farther . The camera turns towards MEGAN FOX still in her sexy bellhop outfit like it’s going to focus on her but it doesn’t ! We focus on tiny transformers fighting all around her sexy legs (and show some butt too) . There is an XBOX that turns into a sexy midget lady robot fighting a wireless router that turns into a fat robot guy . We zoom in more and settle on snail . After a while of sliding around the snail shrugs like “what , I’m not doing anything here” (use special effects) . The camera does a double take like its saying “whoops” and goes back to the action . Rad Starboom – You will never win Mantis Tankfist because evil is so not extreme ! (maybe he has a Mountain Dew logo on his chest ? ) Mantis Tankfist – Oh , but you’ve never seen me transform Rad Starboom , behold my glory and despair ! He transforms into a giant praying mantis with tanks for fists . Rad Starboom – Oh my god , the prophecy is true ! Fight scene between Motorcyclcons and Extreme Sportsbots at the Statue of Liberty . Optimus Prime faces off with Mantis Tankfist . Optimus Prime – Its over Mantis Tankfist your Motorcylcons are no match for my Extreme Sportsbots – give it up ! Mantis Tankfist – Oh you mean like your mother gave it up last night ? Other autobots (scandalized) – Oh no he didn’t ! They engage in an EPIC battle with like metal nunchucks and stuff . Optimus kicks Mantis like right in the nuts (use actual nuts like for bolts) but Mantis does that Bruce Lee thing where he backfists Optimus without even looking . Optimus lays defeated . Tankfist towers over him . Mantis Tankfist – So Optimus Prime , where’s your precious Gigamachinegun now ? Optimus Prime (barely alive) – Right . . . . behind . . . . you Mantis Tankfist turns slowly , eye widening in surprise , as he sees MEGAN FOX flying through the air giving the heavy metal salute on Rex Cycleton the formerly evil Motorclycon now turned good . She’s like ramping through the air with the sun blazing behind her and her MAD TITS are like bouncing everywhere and she got this giant gun and it’s the fabled Gigamachinegun and its like eight feet long and kind of looks like a cock . She licks it for good luck and then shoots MANTIS TANKFIST in the mouth and it’s so huge if makes her MAD TITS fly around like crazy . Megan Fox – I guess you shouldn’t have shot your mouth off Mantis Tankfist . Other Autobots laugh and cheer Rad Starboom (helping Optimus up) – I guess we make a pretty good team right Optimus Prime ? Optimus Prime (gently) – You can call me . . . . DAD . The camera pans out over the turning rubble and focuses on the face of the Statue of Liberty . Suddenly she winks and we pan out to show her transform her torch into a sword and also she’s got ROCKING TITTIES now and is a robot . Jets fire out of her feet and she flies off into the sunset . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Here's my 2 bucks for a ticket. Let me know when the movie starts. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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