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Deliciously Sore In All the Right Places
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Deliciously Sore In All the Right Places March 23, 2015 – Deliciously Sore In All the Right Places We spent a long family weekend together in northern Germany this past weekend. Lil Bit had a long weekend off of school so I had the Z3 loaded up and picked her up from their half day school schedule to hit the road. The weather was a perfect sunny spring day to drive through the Dolomites and Germany. We made it just in time to have dinner at the little local restaurant at the foot of the hill his apartment is on. There was some serious make-up, furious fucking and mind blowing love making going on in the stolen moments. Friday the Viking had to work but Lil Bit and I got to sleep in. We grabbed a pastry at the corner bakery, hopped the tram at the bottom to the hill and spent the day at the local zoo and botanical gardens. The girl is amazingly well behaved around the Viking. She goes from defiant, rude and disrespectful to clingy and lovey-dovey when we are all together. Unfortunately once we’re home it is back to Miss Attitude. Just before we left the zoo my 1st scheduled phone call with the GF came in. It was awkward and odd but if that helps her accept and work through this then I’m ok with it. Friday after the Viking got home we walked a bit further to have dinner at the different place. We also climbed up a few flights of stairs to a train overpass with a gorgeous view of the city. The Viking and I plan to make a return visit to that particular place when we are -free for some freaky public sex. Between the pole dancing class, the traveling and the binge sex fests going on I am sore, bruised and battered in some interesting places. Saturday we all got to sleep in. The Viking and I woke up fucked, cuddled, slept and repeated several times before we finally got out of bed and woke up Lil Bit. We had Pizza Hut for lunch! Yummy! We got our family photo matching shirts bought in record time. The fates smiled upon us by having a double feature at the movies that Lil Bit wanted to go see! We bought her tickets and snacks, left her money and her phone. She had a great time and we had a few hours to hash out some of the rough spots, add a few new sore spots and sooth some hurt. We went out for Chinese after her 2nd movie let out. The Chinese in Germany is much closer to what we are used to so we have to take advantage of it when we can get it. I’m starting to feel like my footing is back on familiar solid ground again in our relationship. Now I’m just praying the Viking is truly done being a prick. I think I understand how and why the email affair got so out of hand before he clued me in. I don’t like it and I’m not going to tolerate it on any repeated basis but I think I understand it. For me I need to understand why and how something happened before I can move past it. It is going to take some time to get over the Jekyll & Hyde and stiff arming he was doing to me for the entire month since I found out. Being a bully is not cool and neither is trying to push my boundaries beyond where I say that’s enough. I’m hoping that we’ve made the turning point so that at least the Viking and I can get back on the same page. Of course just dealing with the growing pains of across the board polyamory isn’t enough the Viking found out Thursday that we may not be able to stay here. They may force us to move back stateside and then move again in less than a year when the Viking finishes this assignment. It is really stupid and they are working to see which exception we’re going to have to get to knock some sense into the widgets. The bottom line is that we may be facing a move in the fall and again in the spring or summer. The Viking said to give it 2 weeks before I start the moving gears into motion. I’m fervently praying that the widgets use some common sense and we get to stay put for the year then move to his next place. I hate moving and we have all kinds of plans already in place for the summer, fall and winter. I’m working hard on finding my inner peace and just accepting what I can’t change until it becomes something I can change. I went back to the pole dance class today for the 2nd time. Monday’s class is just for us Americans but there are several things I can’t do because of my neck. It is still fun and a good workout. I’m going to start going twice a week for pole dance class and maybe twice for Zumba at least once if it is modern music I know and not the Latin stuff I can’t dance to. I’m down to 144 lbs. so I’m determined to get the rest of the 14-20 lbs. off that I want gone before we go back to the states in June and then to the Czech Reb for the IVF. I want to be in the best shape of my life when I go for the IVF and if it doesn’t work at least I know that we did all we could. Some of the things that have changed since the “Reveal” as we are all calling it have made me realize that there were some decisions I allowed the Viking to make for us both that I really shouldn’t have agreed to and won’t again. We cannot cut the poly, swinging, and freaky side of ourselves or our relationship without causing damage to us and the relationship. I don’t think we would be in this painful transition if we hadn’t stopped everything and went monogamous vanilla couple overnight. With only 2 exceptions in the 2 years we’ve been here that is what our relationship has been. Not a healthy thing for either of us. We both need outside influences for various reasons. I was wrong to assume that since the Viking put that restriction on us he was somehow responsible for all of my needs. The restriction should have been refused and renegotiated from the start but I blindly trusted his judgment and didn’t properly set my own boundaries. I’m meeting a potential new paramour for coffee/tea this week. Ideally, I’d really like a friend and a lover. Someone to escape with from time to time. I’m hoping it will work out if nothing else than for the distraction it will give me from obsessing about the Viking’s new relationship and how it affects me. Having someone to lean on when the Viking is away is a really great help and comfort. When we were separated before having the Cub was a huge way for me to channel emotions and get relief and release. I hate that I’m just now getting to explore having a European lover when I could be leaving in the fall but I also don’t want to give up the chance when we may not move at all. My potential paramour sounds very interesting. He’s very sexy, handsome and well equipped. Interestingly he’s not Italian. I’m not really sure what he’s looking for so it is hard to know how much of a match we really are. Hopefully I’ll get some answers to that this week when we meet. I’ll be sure to let you pervs hear how the 1st date goes. The 4 days before Easter are going to be killer hard for me. The GF will be here and I know I’m going to have to fight really hard not to reach out for him just out of fear. Right now I just keep telling myself we have 6 weeks after that to rebuild, repair and rejuvenate. I also realized this weekend that a lot of my reaction is based in the demons of my past. That doesn’t excuse the Viking letting all the demons loose on me but my reactions were exaggerated as a result of them and the recovery time will be longer as a result. I’ve got a lot of repacking my demons in the baggage I carry because of this. Sunday was just packing up and getting on the road. The weather held off and got sunnier as we headed south until we were driving into a beautiful Italian sunset as we passed the Dolomites in their purple sheer cliffs. Today was back to a full calendar, classes, meetings, errands, paperwork for the charity, for the IVF, it is just never ending. Wish me lots of luck this week and keep your fingers crossed for good news on all fronts. Stay sexy and love each other well.  Kisses, LA    |
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Great for you. Kisses
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GOOD
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I really admire the way you are handling all this...and your ability to separate out what's his stuff vs. yours. And girls with their mothers...the little shits!  The good news is that they grow out of - mine just turned 27 yesterday and she is the coolest person on the planet. But oh lawd, when she was a teenager...let's just say she's lucky to be alive!!! Keeping good thoughts on all of it for you - staying in Europe, the IVF and relationship. xoxoAlways tell the truth Use kind words Keep your promises Giggle and laugh Be positive Love one another Always be grateful Forgiveness is mandatory Try new things Say please and thank you Say your prayers Smile ~Author unknown
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I’m working hard on finding my inner peace and just accepting what I can’t change until it becomes something I can change. That's just the way to do sweetie. Hope things work out on all fronts... especially the potential paramour.  Thoughts from the Garden...
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3/23/2015 8:23 pm |
Sounds like things are looking up except the moving thing. I hope that works out for you. Moving twice would, well suck. Hugs!!
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That's great....keep that sexy body of your in shape!! you look great!! and you can pole dance for me anytime!
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